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relating to others… NOT just to yourself.

Sounds obvious, but it’s not.

Relationships are a 2-way street. They require that 2 people relate to each other, deeply connect to each other, communicate with each other and share their lives with each other. 

If you are not doing this, you are NOT in a relationship. After all, you can’t just BE in a relationship, you have to RELATE to someone in a relationship. That’s how they work.

Relating isn’t just physical, it is emotional and mental as well. Relating is the magic ingredient that turns strangers into friends, roommates into lovers and lovers into committed partners. Relating is what keeps couples growing and evolving together, learning new things about each other and keeping their relationship fresh and exciting.

Where there is NO relating, there is NO relationship. If you are not relating to someone you are involved with, you are just co-existing together and that makes for a very lonely existence. Talking to your partner shouldn’t feel like talking to a wall. Being with your partner shouldn’t make you feel more lonely. If your presence in someone’s life isn’t adding value, why are you there? Without the deeper process of relating and developing a real connection, 2 people are just 2 people in a room, ghosts passing in the night, and after awhile those 2 people will no longer have a reason to be together. Don’t let your relationship get to that point. No one wants to sit across from their lover in silence because they’ve lost their connection to each other or worse – never had one.

Take the time to relate to another person. Get to know them deeply and take an active interest in them – engage them – get to know what’s important to them – share in their experiences and in turn, EQUALLY SHARE YOUR LIFE with them. Let them into your world and find ways to weave your lives together and from there grow your connection everyday. For if you don’t, you will forever remain just 2 people in a room.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.
Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

Codependent Relationships… depend on someone else.

Healthy relationships depend on oneself.

Do you NEED someone in your life? Do you NEED someone to be or do something for you? Do you NEED someone to make you feel a certain way in order to feel good about yourself, to feel safe or to feel desirable? If so, recognize that need is need, it is NEVER love. Don’t confuse the two.

Needing someone else makes you emotionally needy. Relying on yourself makes you emotionally strong. Emotionally needy people tend to find each other and the dance of codependency begins.

When you are emotionally needy, you are prone to “needing to be in a relationship;” not necessarily the right relationship for you, just any relationship.

When you are emotionally strong, your preferrence is to be alone rather than in the wrong relationship.

An emotionally strong person prefers to tend to their own garden and water their own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring them flowers. An emotionally needy person prefers to be in anyone else’s garden even if they are allergic to the flowers.

Happiness is only found in your own garden – the garden you create with your likes, dislikes, and experiences growing different flowers.  Don’t need someone else’s garden to make you happy, cultivate your own. Let it grow lush and be a representative example of the beauty you have to offer to the world. Then share your garden with someone who understands your style of gardening and appreciates all your hard work.

Don’t keep yourself attached to someone who doesn’t understand your garden. It will slowly poison your soul until your garden withers and dies. Codependent relationships keeps us trapped in a garden we do not belong in. Be strong enough to stand alone and build your own garden. And in time, you will attract someone who complements your style of gardening and together you’ll grow your garden with mutual goals, understanding and respect. Life is too short to keep yourself trapped in a garden where you’re being suffocated by the vines. Find the garden where your flowers will thrive best and plant the seeds for the rest of your life.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

feeling pain… running from it is.

Believe it or not, pain isn’t a bad thing. It’s actually an indication that you are learning and growing. All growth requires some level of discomfort; it is called “growing pains.” This pain is inevitable and it signifies the emotional hard work and challenges that we all face day-to-day and for which we valiantly (hopefully) overcome.

But for some reason we try and avoid feeling this pain… we try and avoid it at all costs. But what we really do not understand is that avoiding the pain doesn’t make your life any better, it only intensifies the experience of the pain later on. Why? Because you can only stave off the lesson causing the pain for so long before it comes back with a vengeance. It’s just a matter of time before that lesson will come calling again and when it does, trust me, it means business.

Do yourself a favor. Don’t run from your life by hiding from your pain. Your escapism strategies (drugs, alcohol, food, tv, internet, sleeping, shopping, sex, etc..) only guarantee that you will get hit HARDER later on. Work through the pain when it presents itself the first time – get the lesson and get out so you can move forward with the rest of your life.

The pain isn’t there to torture you unduly so, it is there to enrich you and make you better. Pain is your friend. Go towards it and see what it has for you. When you allow yourself to fully go into the experience of the pain, you very quickly transform it and life gets better very easily. When you avoid that pain, you prolong and perpetuate the feelings of the pain for a very long time. Don’t wallow in your pain, do something about it. Stare it in the face and stare it down. Your life is too short to get shut out by your own pain. Feeling pain is never the problem, running from it always is.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

th…runs you in circles.
It keeps you in a self-imposed loop of doubt. When in reality, you knew the right answer all along.

Listen to yourself. Your FIRST impression is ALWAYS the right one. It comes from your intuitionyour heart, your inner knowing, you inner feeling – without bias, without overthinking it.

Your 2nd impression comes from the mind. It intervenes and tries to interject an element of FEAR or CONTROL into the situation to give it substantiation, negation or rationalization.

Don’t make yourself crazy. If it feels right, IT IS RIGHT. If it doesn’t feel right somehow, it will never change for you. Your intuition always knows what is right, the trick is getting your mind to shut up long enough for you to hear it.

Second guessing yourself runs you in circles. Going back is NEVER the answer. Going back will never change the outcome for you; it will just keep you stuck in a cycle of self-doubt.

Honor yourself. Learn to trust in the wisdom of your soul. Don’t go back. Recognize that if it didn’t feel right initially, it isn’t right and it will not all of a sudden become right for you. Don’t waste your time second guessing yourself, give yourself that time to open up to what is truly right for you and call it forth into your life. The sooner you can move beyond your self-imposed hole of self-doubt, the sooner you can move forward with your life.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

th… unless you make it that way.

These are two completely different concepts. Do you know the difference?

Being alone assumes one loves themselves and fully enjoys and appreciates themselves. They are comfortable in their skin, emotionally well-adjusted and although they enjoy the company of others, they are quite contented to be alone and find just as much happiness and fulfillment in their aloneness.

Being lonely is when you are not comfortable within yourself, when your own company isn’t quite enough to soothe or entertain you. It is when you require someone or something outside of you to make you happy because you cannot find that happiness within yourself. It is when you default to any type of distraction (drugs, alcohol, food, tv, sleep, etc…) to keep you from feeling your own pain and loneliness because the solitude of being on your own is simply too painful to bear.

Running from yourself will always keep you lonely. Embracing yourself will always keep you fulfilled. Regardless of the image staring back at you in the mirror, learn to love it, learn to appreciate it and learn to honor it every day. Self love is your best and only real companion.

Do you want to be alone or continually feel lonely? The choice is yours. But nothing changes until you learn to love your own company, if you don’t, how can you ever ask someone else to?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

th-3… it’s because BETTER things are working their way towards you.

Yet somehow we never see that.

We prefer to fall into the sadness and depression of it all wondering, “why does this always happen to me?”

Truth is that nothing in life ever happens to you, it always happens for you to bring you to a BETTER place, whether or not you can see that at the time.

The disappointments are never there to crush your spirit or tear you down. They are specifically happening to tell you that what you were hoping for was never a viable option and to keep walking because there is something better suited for you right around the corner.

You can never lose what is real for you. If you lose it, it was never going to be yours for the long term.

Things only leave our lives when it is time for them to be replaced with something more suitable and fulfilling. The mistake we make is in trying to hold onto what is leaving our hands. The universe knows what is best for you and it will always clear the decks to make room for it.

If it doesn’t work out for you, it wasn’t fulfilling you on some level and maybe you were reluctant to see that. You can never lose what is real. If it is not working out, learn to detach from it and move on with grace. Recognize that when things don’t work out for you, it is ALWAYS because better things are working their way towards you. Learn to trust the process of your life. Get out of the way of yourself and get excited for what is waiting in the wings.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

Feeling Stuck

th… is an indication that you are NOT LEARNING.

Therefore you are prohibited from moving forward – kinda like being held back at school.

You would only feel stuck in the space you are in if you hadn’t yet learned what needed to be learned in that phase in order to progress to the next phase. Life builds on itself and lessons build on themselves. With every lesson learned in a life, you move up and you move onto the next phase of your life. But so many of us stay in cycles repeating the same behaviors and expecting a different result while wondering why we are stuck?

Feeling stuck in your life is very purposeful. It is meant to make you feel uncomfortably trapped in your situation so that you will shed the light of consciousness on it and bring about the change it requires to transform. You are not meant to fall into the “stuckness” but to look for answers on how to “get unstuck.” Just remember, if you do not initiate a change yourself, change will never happen.

So ask yourself, why are things not changing? What am I not seeing? What am I not getting? What behaviors and patterns might I be repeating that are keeping me in this frustrating cycle? What might this situation be trying to teach me?

If you are feeling stuck, learn to objectively look at your situation and get the lesson from it and get out so you can truly move on with your life. You are not a victim of your situation – no one is keeping you stuck but you. When you open your eyes and learn to show up differently, you will have a different result and one which will naturally free you from the chains that bind you.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

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