Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Numbing Yourself

Numbing Yourself… is a way of distracting yourself AWAY FROM YOUR PAIN.

And we all do it. And we are mostly unconscious of it.

You see, we all have “edges” (boundaries) and when we come up to an edge, we generally and very instinctively run away from it so not to feel the pain that could arise by bumping into that edge.

The “edges” represent a line of emotion that if crossed, the psyche tells us we will feel pain and it is human nature to avoid pain. So when we come up against one of our edges, we usually “run away” by numbing ourselves in a myriad of ways. Maybe you recognize some of them?

over-indulging in addictive behaviors – food, drink, drugs, video games, sex, etc…

– distracting ourselves with our work/career

– “being too busy”/over-scheduled

– distracting/preoccupying oneself so not to have to focus on what another is saying to us or not having the time to see our own patterns playing out

putting on armor so people do not know who really are

– changing the subject when the topic pushes an edge of ours

avoiding deep conversations/connections with others that could potentially hit an edge of ours

– blaming others for our own wrong doings

We may also hit an edge when someone hurts us or when someone loves us more than we love ourselves.

So inevitably, romantic love brings up all our edges. If your life strategy includes hiding from your edges, you will never feel comfortable with someone whom you innately know will push that edge.

The problem isn’t that we have edges, it’s that we spend an inordinate amount of time trying to avoid hitting those edges. But the thing about edges is that they blunt over time – if you approach them often enough. The more experience you have coming up to those edges and experiencing your fears, the less sharp those edges are.

When you come up to an edge, it is your indication that you are feeling an emotion that does not feel safe, but every emotion is there to teach you something about yourself. Dive in.

Avoiding your edges and numbing yourself so you never feel them will NEVER serve you. Your emotionality will never evolve. Do the work on those emotions when they come up and you will find that you know yourself much better and you become emotionally stronger. Know your edges. Know what they bring up. And don’t avoid hitting them. A better day is ahead of you once you wake up from your tranquilized slumber.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

 

th-3… is in their ability to be humble.

Real power is in the mark of someone who doesn’t need to hide behind an over-inflated ego. It is the mark of someone who has achieved everything and yet has nothing to prove. It is the mark of someone who is truly comfortable in their skin and truly comfortable in their ability to be REAL, not living behind a shield of pretense. It is the mark of someone who truly knows who they are and can stand firm in the face of adversity. It is in the mark of someone who doesn’t need, nor seek validation from others.

In other words, truly powerful people know where real power resides and they know that it is NEVER outside of them. They know that power is NOT to be found in fame or fortune. It is NOT to be found in the car they drive or in the number of beach homes they have. It is NOT to be found in the amount of money they make or in their social status. It is NOT to be found in the brands they wear, nor the people they hang around with.

Truly powerful people know that their power comes from within. They have an innate ability to see themselves. They are able to admit their faults. They are able to accept responsibility for their actions especially when they are less than desirable. They are able to constructively hear criticism and subsequently apply the learning. They are able to share their more difficult life experiences with others in hopes to promote their growth without worrying about how they might appear. And even more importantly, they do not need accolades because they know that the best reputations are created without even trying.

Truly powerful people have nothing to prove and yet everything to share with the world. They are modest, and are more interested in helping others for the sake of truly making a difference NOT for what it says about them.

The secret to truly powerful people lies in the ability to practice humility and vulnerability. These beings realize that it is never about physical strength or mental strength – it is always about emotional strength. There is a strength in admitting your limitations that can never be found in the professing of your achievements.

Do you want to be a truly powerful person? Do you want to be recognized in your field? Do you want to influence others and help to inspire them? Do you want to make a difference in the world? Stop trying to DO all that and start BEING REAL within yourself. Your ability to be truly powerful lies within YOU never outside of you.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

th… getting out of their way does.

After all, if you can’t fix them, you don’t want to get cut on their broken edges.

We tend to have expectations of people. We believe in “who they can be,” not necessarily who they have chosen to be. But it’s not your job to get people to change. Your wanting to change them (albeit for the own personal benefit) isn’t enough to get people to change. People have to feel that they are ready to make change and then embrace their own process to do so. Until then your words will fall on deaf ears and will only render you frustrated and create resentment on their part – everyone loses.

If you really want to “fix people,” help them to see why they may be broken. Highlight aspects of their behavior and kindly bring it to their attention and then STEP BACK. That might mean take yourself out of the equation for a bit so that they can do the work. If you stay in their life, they may not feel the need to do the work. But your absence may encourage them to reach higher. When you give people space, they generally find their own way towards change. When you sit on top of them, no doubt they will resist your efforts.

Choosing to stay in their life is fine as long as you detach from your need for them to change. You can’t make people be who you want them to be or be who you think they should be. You have to let people be who they are. And in the process of giving them that space, the seeds you plant with them will hopefully blossom over time.

You want to fix people? Teach them to plant better seeds for themselves and then GET OUT OF THEIR GARDEN. Let them nurture their own growth. And maybe one day, they will share their harvest with you.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

sleepwalking… will always leave you in a place you do NOT want to be.

How could it leave you anywhere else?

No one consciously sets out to sleepwalk. It is an unconscious programming – an unconscious walk throughout your life. If you are NOT consciously looking at your behavior and how you are showing up in life, then you are sleepwalking your way through it and most likely will wake up in a place you didn’t mean to be in.

Why is that the case? Because sleepwalking is unconscious. And only conscious behavior can bring you to where you want to be in your life. Sleepwalking only purports negative programming as it encourages repetitive deconstructive cycles – as in nighttime eating and dangerous walking, etc. Sleepwalking doesn’t get you ahead. It keeps you stuck in negative cycles.

If you are not looking at your behavioral patterns and questioning how it is you got to where you are in your life, then you are NOT doing the work of conscious walking. You are most likely reacting unconsciously to what is going on for you and subsequently sleepwalking your way through it.

You can keep blaming everyone else for the bad that happens in your life or you can wake up today from your debilitating slumber and realize that you have brought it all on yourself and decide that you want to change it. People who sleepwalk blame others for waking up naked outside. People who are awake acknowledge that they have some issues that are causing them to want to take off their clothes and run naked through the streets in their sleep and as a result, they begin to do the work on healing those issues so they can break the pattern.

Wake up, your life is too short to sleepwalk it away. Get back into the driver’s seat of your life and vow to identify your patterns and make the decision to address your issues more consciously. Personal transformation starts with the recognition that you want to WAKE UP TO YOUR LIFE. It is happening right here, right now and the sooner you can wake up and recognize that the decisions you may have made thus far are not serving you, the sooner you can make decisions that will better serve you.

Are you ready to wake up and own your life or are you still sleepwalking? Any time you are ready to stop hitting the snooze button, your life will truly begin.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

 

 

 

 

The Road to Success

road to success…. is paved with FAILURES.

It has to be. How else would you get there?

Success is an uphill battle – everyday. It’s a steep incline up a treacherous mountain that few dare to tread. It is not for everyone. It not only requires hard work, dedication and laser-sharp focus; it requires perseverance and a will to NEVER GIVE UP.

But what most people do not realize is that success also requires FAILURE – and lots of it. In short, our mistakes are what make us great – they push us to become stronger, wiser and more adaptable. They push us to learn and evolve and become keenly resourceful and supremely strategic.

The question isn’t – “are you successful?” It is “have you done the work necessary to BECOME a success.” A lot of people do not want to do the work necessary to become a success, they just want it, expect it, feel entitled to it and put out the bare minimum to get it.

To have a successful career, you have to work HARD at it everyday.

To have a successful relationship, you have to work HARD at it everyday.

To have a successful anything, you have to WORK HARD to earn that success. You do not just get it because you want it.

Nothing good ever comes easy and nothing easy is ever really worth having. Newsflash: if you are looking for anything in your life to “just be easy,” you will get easy, but you will NOT get success. They are two entirely different initiatives. But somehow we forget that. Easy is just that, EASY… it is never better and it will NEVER bring you success.

Success is not for the faint-hearted; its for the few who are extraordinary and who want the best that life has to offer. They are willing to work at it everyday and willing to fail at it everyday in order to get the greatness that they know they deserve. After all, how can you know success if you haven’t first learned to fail? How would you ever appreciate success if you didn’t have to do the work necessary to earn it? You wouldn’t.

Be extraordinary. Do the real HARD WORK to become your own success story – not only in your own life, but in your career and in your key relationships. Don’t be afraid to fail. Failures make you great. Without those failures, you are just living a life of mediocrity – the easy life. Greatness awaits you at the top of the mountain. What are you waiting for? Time to start climbing.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

 

th-4… rewrite your story.

After all, it’s YOURS to rewrite.

We all have a story. Our stories define our lives, but we forget that we are the authors of our stories and that we can rewrite our stories whenever we like.

You are never trapped in your story, if you do not like the chapter you find yourself in, rewrite a new ending – one that better fits you, one that better excites you, one that helps you make amends to the past and inspires you towards a better future.

It doesn’t matter where you have found yourself in your story, you can decide in this moment to change it. You are in full control and can change your story on a dime. If your past is harassing you, erase it and rewrite a new history for yourself and in your next moment, it will become your reality. If you do not like how you have shown up for yourself or others, start now and rewrite your role. Be the YOU you want to be and don’t feel imprisoned by the you you’ve been all along.

If you do not like what you are looking at, change it. You have a general script in place which is your destiny/fate. But you were given free will and that gives you the pencil/eraser to change any and all of it whenever you like. You are never bound to your story, you are always free to explore the parameters of your dreams.

What is holding you up? You are the only one keeping yourself stuck in a story that you’ve outgrown. When you decide to allow yourself to be happy, you will rewrite your story and allow yourself the opportunity to live the life you truly want to live, not the life you consequently find yourself living. There is a difference.

You hold the pen, you are the author, if you are unhappy with what is going on in your life, rewrite your story. Your story begins and ends with you. Why would you give anyone else the pen?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

 

Putting Up Walls

th-1… keeps you alone.

It doesn’t keep you safe.

When we are fearful, we put up walls. We put up walls to protect ourselves from being hurt – from being judged – from being misunderstood – from being “found out,” etc… Our walls are personas that we create for ourselves and we hide behind them. Sometimes we stay behind them for so long that we forget who we really are behind those walls.

We put walls in place to “protect” ourselves but ironically it does the opposite – it distances us from real connections with others. But in life, you only know who you are in relationship to another human being, so if you are hiding behind a wall, you are not helping yourself to grow and evolve.

Walls keeps us “walled off” from being who we really are because the wall demands that our focus is on the facade, not any deeper. When you define yourself by your wall, it can give you an appearance of not being real, lacking depth or appearing fake and superficial, an “empty shell,” etc…

If you want to be in a real relationship, you have to take your wall down and invite someone into your castle. Taking your wall down demands that you can be vulnerable, genuine and REAL with yourself. Why is it important to be all that? Because the pain of being vulnerable is NOTHING compared to the pain of losing yourself to a wall.

Walls don’t protect you, they keep you locked in a prison of your own creation. Let your guard down and let the walls come down, let the sunshine in. Nobody loves a wall, but they can love the beautiful being inside the wall. If you want to be in a real relationship, let someone into your castle, take down your wall so you can have a true connection. When others see you for who you really are, not the wall you have put up, you become REAL.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

 

 

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 287 other followers