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Archive for the ‘Ego’ Category

… is a step closer towards success.

But we were never taught that.

We view failure as a setback, but in reality “failure” is NOT a setback, but a necessary “step-BACK” along our path towards success. Sometimes it’s necessary to step back in life to regroup and re-calibrate so that we can move forward in a stronger, more definitive way.

It’s important to understand that success is very rarely a steady trajectory upwards. By it’s definition, it’s frought with many step-backs — it has to be. After all, if you didn’t know failure, how could you ever really come to know success?

Our lives are about taking 1-step forward, 2-steps back and it’s the steps-back that enable us to “re-trace” our steps in order to do things better next time. The steps back allow you to process the wisdom you’ve already garnered and make some new decisions with it.

Failure is never falling short of your goal — it’s part of the process it takes to get there. When you learn what doesn’t work, you begin to understand more about what will work. Rejoice in your failures, they innately set you up onto a more solid foundation moving forward. The only way to get to the next highest mountain top is to come down the side of the mountain you’re on. Don’t fight the downhill slide, use that experience to go higher up the next mountain.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… it’s how quickly you can catch yourself.

We all fall. The cycle of life has many ups and downs. After all, what goes up must come down. Falling down isn’t the issue — learning to land more gracefully is.

How do you weather your falls? Do you crash and burn? Or do you catch yourself so you do not go down in flames? We innately understand how to catch ourselves when we trip over a curb, but we somehow get tripped up over our falls in life.

Falling isn’t the issue, it’s what we do once we fall that determines where we will end up. Are you adept at catching yourself and making it look like a seamless step or do you allow that stumble to bring you to your knees in tears for everyone to see.

Falling doesn’t have to mean falling apart. It can also mean falling into something new. Don’t buy into the drama of the fall, pretend that it was an intentional measure to showcase your strength and fortitude. What doesn’t kill you will always make you stronger as long as you manage to get up off the floor and keep moving.

Don’t get tripped up over the fall. Learn how to make a dance out of it. Be easy with yourself. Be light. And the next time you fall, it will not take you out; it will only make you laugh.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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… keeps you both in darkness.

Why not learn to throw down a ladder instead?

There is a difference between trying to help someone and losing yourself in the process.

You can’t change people. You can’t fix people. You can’t drag people to a better version of themselves. They have to want to meet you there or they will never get there.

You can’t do the work for people. Giving them all the answers doesn’t help them to learn how to crawl out of the hole themselves. What happens the next time they fall in again?

Show them there is a better way to live. Throw them down a ladder and encourage them to climb out themselves. Lead by example. Stay out in the sunshine and entice them out of their darkness. But stay away from the edge, you might just fall in. If you try to do their work for them, you’ll both end up in the hole and then you won’t be of any use to them.

If you really want to help people, teach them how to work their way back up to the light. Give them the tools to help them climb out on their own and welcome them out into the sunshine. It’s a win-win for both of you.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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… doesn’t MAKE it work.

It just exhausts you.

There is only so much you can do to make a situation or a relationship work. At some point you have to be willing to walk away from it if it is not meeting your needs. In other words, you have to learn WHEN to walk away from what is NOT working, so you can free up the space to find what will.

You can’t repeatedly look at what’s not working and resent it for not being different.

It’s not others’ fault for not meeting your needs, it’s your fault for allowing them to continually disappoint you.

Don’t look to change others. Look to change yourself. If you are not getting your needs met, look somewhere else. Don’t make someone responsible for your happiness, take charge of it yourself.

Holding on to what doesn’t work, doesn’t make it work. It just breaks you down and takes your power away from you. Love yourself enough to ask for better and you just might get it.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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… keeps you from being REAL.

Superficiality keeps you on the surface of your life. It prevents you from going deeper emotionally. It keeps you from establishing deeper connections in your relationships with others and subsequently with yourself.

Being superficial is a way of guarding yourself against intimacy, vulnerability and emotional pain. After all, if you never go deeply, how deeply can you get hurt?

Superficial relationships are easy — they require nothing more than pleasantries and social graces. But superficial relationships are never fulfilling; they don’t feed and nurture the soul. They leave you feeling vacant and empty. They are never deep enough to penetrate the heart, so they never evolve you. They are just predicated on ego interests (conditional love, physical attraction, sex, money, status, education, career, labels, etc…).

Real relationships transform you — they change you, they force you to grow, they breathe life into you and make you real. They require emotional depth and vulnerability. They force you to go deeper into yourself and unlock your demons. Ultimately they break your heart open so you can hold more love. They make you better. But to get there you have to first penetrate the realm of the heart (unconditional love, selflessness, acceptance, non-judgment, openness, vulnerability, etc…).

Superficial relationships are easy, but anything just handed to you is NEVER worth having. Real relationships are more challenging, they push you outside your comfort zone, they force you to face those demons and go deeper into yourself and your relations with others.

Superficiality isn’t just about being fake or shallow, it’s about guarding yourself from pain and hurt. Are you ready to do the work to be in a real relationship or are you contented to accept what’s on the surface? When you are ready to go deeper, you will unearth the real treasures that await you.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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… doesn’t mean you are finished with it.

We think just because it’s behind us that we’re done with our past. But the past doesn’t work that way. The past is only in our past if we have learned what we needed to learn from it and subsequently let it go.

How do you know if you have let it go? You are no longer attached to it.

So if it’s in your past, but you’re still angry about it, you’re still attached to it.

If it’s in your past, but you’re still upset about it, you’re still attached to it.

If it’s in your past, but you’re still hurting over it, you’re still attached to it.

If after all this time, you’re still having a strong emotional response to that person or event, then clearly you are still attached to it and therefore NOT finished with it. For better or worse, it’s very much still alive in your mind and heart.

You cannot run from your past. Unfortunately if you do not deal with it, it will always come back. Your past has a funny way of finding you when it is time to deal with something you’ve buried. So when your past comes back to you, it’s NEVER an unfortunate mishap, it’s the universe’s way of providing you with another opportunity for closure. Take it.

Just because a chapter of your life closes, doesn’t mean you are finished with it. Learn to not only close it, but find the closure in it.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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… and it will soon become comfortable.

Resisting “what is” makes things difficult. Making peace with the discomfort opens up opportunities.

We are comfort-seeking creatures. We would like everything to be easy and pleasurable, but life doesn’t always work that way.

When discomfort arises, we always have 2 choices: we can either RESIST IT and PUSH AGAINST IT or we can learn to LET IT PASS THROUGH US and DETACH FROM IT. We want to learn to transform the discomfort, not feed it.

Think about it — hitting your head on the wall over and over again only gives you a headache; it doesn’t move the wall. Learn to step back from the wall, take a breath and open your eyes, you might just realize that there is a way to WALK AROUND THE WALL. Not everything has to be difficult. Resistance increases your frustration, but acceptance allows you to find new alternatives.

Learn to be comfortable within the discomfort and you’ll transform it. Continue to focus on the frustration of the discomfort and you’ll create more of it. Life is not always going to bring you roses, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find joy in the rest of your garden. How comfortable are you in your life?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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