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Archive for the ‘Taking Chances’ Category

… it’s a bully move to get someone to carry your pain.

Everyone carries a certain degree of pain, but not everyone is conscious of that burden. For some, guilt is their weapon of choice. When people are unable to fully process their pain and feel as if they are drowning in it, they may wield a portion of it in the form of guilt. And when you accept that guilt, you carry a bit of that pain for them. 

The problem with guilt is that it invites enabling. These behaviors work hand-in-hand. If you accept someone’s “guilt trip,” you give them power over you to bully you into carrying some of that pain. By doing so, you lighten their burden in the short term, but have succeeded in creating a deeper burden for them in the long term.

Pain never leaves you until you work through it. No one can do it for you.

Don’t think you are helping someone by being guilted into something. Guilt is a power play, it’s a bully move to get someone to carry your pain. The real hero is in penetrating the pain and transforming it into something much more beneficial. When you recognize that guilt is deconstructive — and you vow never to take it on — the person in pain will finally be free to heal.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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… but if you’re patient, it’ll work out even better.

Patience is the name of the game. Life is a delicate balance of effort and surrender and when we push against what isn’t working, we only create more resistance for ourselves. 

The ability to observe what is and not get caught up into wanting it to be different is the gift of wisdom. We may not be able to change what is happening to us in this moment, but we can absolutely change our reactions to what is happening and that reaction is what will create our next experience.

Life is a series of moments. What happens when things don’t work out the way you want them to? Do you spend your time and energy rallying around the injustice of it all or do you put your energy into moving forward so you can create a better experience in your next moment?

Life doesn’t always work out the way you want it to but if you accept that “it is the way it is,” you give yourself the ability to create change in the next moment. You are never going to change what happened, but if you surrender to it, accept it and recognize that you prefer to have a better experience next time, you will be on your way to creating it for yourself.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… when you’re ready for it.

Not before.

If something is shifting in your life, it’s time for it to shift. Whether you realize it or not, things only begin to shift when you’re ready for a new phase of life. 

The secret to navigating change is to follow the tide, not resist it. You don’t have to have all the answers, you only need to follow the tide when it shifts and trust the process of your life that it knows where it’s leading you. The universe always has your back. Change wouldn’t be happening if it wasn’t time for change to happen.

Don’t get tripped up over any perceived outcome. It’s great to have a goal, but don’t hold steadfast to it, be flexible. You never know where life will take you. If you think you know what’s right for you and you hold too tight to it, you will create unnecessary pain and frustration. Set a goal and then be open to where life leads you. When you are flexible, you allow yourself the chance to pivot towards something even better. 

Step lightly on the earth, be fluid, be able to adapt, your life may not show up exactly as you expect, but from what I’ve learned — it usually shows up even better. 

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… but because you do.

We have the wrong idea about forgiveness… we think it’s something we give to others, but really, it’s a gift we give to ourselves. 

When you leave a situation or relationship angry or resentful, you are NOT free. It takes so much energy to harbor anger and resentment and it keeps you trapped there. But when you leave a situation or relationship with love and gratitude, you are free to move forward into your future.

Animosity keeps you trapped. Forgiveness sets you free. Forgiveness isn’t something you give to another; it’s something you give to yourself. Being free of attachment to another is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves.

When relationships end, let them go. Don’t hold onto the pain and hurt. Forgive. Not because they deserve your forgiveness, but because you do. You deserve to be happy and pain free. Forgiveness is one step closer to getting there.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

 

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… walk away from it.

At least for little while.

Then the answer becomes clear.

Pushing for answers doesn’t bring them quicker, it just highlights the questions.

You get what you focus on and if you’re obsessively focusing on the uncertainty, it creates more uncertainty. Clarity can only be found in a clear space and a clear space can only be found when all inquiries cease.

The best way to find clarity and to make decisions is to align with yourself get out of your head and into your heart. Stop mentally projecting outside of yourself for answers and ask yourself how you feel in every experience.

Life speaks to you through your experiences. Don’t focus on finding the answers. Live your life. It has every answer you will ever need. 

Overthinking creates mental clutter. Living your life and feeling your way through your life brings solutions. With every experience you evolve and you intuitively learn where you need to be. Answers can never be artificially found outside of you, they have to be found inside you. If you can’t solve it, walk away from it and the answers will become clear.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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… it only matters what you do with it.

How you react is what determines your next experience. 

A situation is just that — a situation. It has absolutely no bearing over your life unless you give it. Once you react to a situation, you make it real for you. Once you react, you become part of the game — you’re in it and now it has to be played out.

It doesn’t matter how bad the situation is, if you don’t engage it, it can never affect you. It literally has no control over you unless you allow it in.

Your power is in your reaction. How you react will determine what happens next. Any good game needs two players. Your move will always determine how things shake out for you. In life, it’s never what happens to you, it’s what you do with it that makes all the difference in the world. What will your next move be?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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… requires a mid-course correction.

A mid-life crisis can happen at any age, but the wisdom here is that the secret to healing it, is in the way we define it.

Life naturally has its ups and downs, and life is constantly asking you to define who you are in relationship to it. You’re never in a crisis, you’re only ever at a crossroads. You’re always being given a chance to PIVOT yourself away from what is not working and towards something that will.

Don’t fall into the drama of the crisis. Recognize that it reflects a crossroads for you. You get to evaluate your position and choose your next step. You are never stuck and you are never a victim of your circumstances. If you are unhappy where you are, make a move. Recognize that you’re always in control of your life; your life is NEVER in control of you.

You’re not having a midlife crisis, you just need to make a midcourse correction. Crossroads are always there to give you the opportunity to trade up. Are you ready for something new? The universe is waiting to give it to you.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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