Giving To Those Who Cannot Give Back

… leaves you feeling drained and depleted.

We call them “energy vampires” – they take and take and never learn to give back in equal measure.

Some of us make the mistake of giving and giving – physically, mentally and emotionally to others and thinking that it will somehow come back to us? But it doesn’t always work that way. Givers are givers and takers tend to be takers. That doesn’t make them bad; it just makes them different from you. Not everyone is capable of giving to the same extent that you might be.

Some people are just naturally capable of GIVING MORE to others and some people are naturally accustomed to RECEIVING IT. Ask yourself how you show up in your relationships and then realize who you are and what level of giving you require in a harmonious relationship and DON’T ACCEPT LESS.

People will always take what is on offer so STOP GIVING if it is depleting you. It doesn’t win you any prizes. It isn’t necessary to continually support an energy vampire if they do not know how to support you in return. You never want to prioritize someone who makes you an option.

Even the sweetest, most kind-hearted and sensitive beings can be energy vampires if they do not know how to show up for you the way you need them to. Again, that doesn’t make them bad, it just makes them NOT RIGHT FOR YOU. Look for someone “in your league” – someone who deeply cares for you and for your wellbeing and someone WHO KNOWS HOW TO SHOW YOU THAT by SHOWING UP FOR YOU. In other words, look for someone who matches your level of giving. If it is “all about them,” they are most likely not at your level.

There’s no reason to be resentful. Don’t hold it against someone for not giving to you; most of them are simply incapable of doing so. A better question to be asking is – “why you have been giving someone so many chances to disappoint you?” It isn’t about someone NOT GIVING BACK TO YOU in as much as it’s about WHY YOU ARE CONTINUALLY GIVING TO SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T GIVE THE SAME IN RETURN.

People don’t change. Zebras don’t change their stripes because yours are prettier. It’s not enough enticement. Stop giving to those who cannot give back to you and start GIVING THEM UP. Give back to yourself the energy you put into them and before you know it, you will attract a much higher level soul who will be able to give back to you in equal measure. It’s all in the giving that we receive.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

 

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Meet Me At The Line

… or you CANNOT play with me.

This is the game of boundaries. If you do NOT delineate your boundaries with others, they are certain to be crossed and it will NOT be the other person’s fault.

Everyone needs to set clear boundaries for themselves in order to be happy and to have their needs met. But if you are not setting those boundaries for yourself and for the other person, how do they know where they are?

Boundaries designate the rules of the game and without them, there is relative chaos where no one knows how to optimally play the game and no one knows if they’ve crossed a line and sabotaged the game.

Do you know who you are? And do you know what you need in a relationship? Whether it be a work situation, friendship or romantic relationship, you always have to draw that line. What exactly is the line? It is your position in the relationship – it clearly defines your expectations – it is what you NEED to be fulfilled and happy and it is also what you will NOT tolerate. 

When you enter a relationship – any relationship – tell that person, “Here’s my line. If you want to dance with me, you have to meet me at the line. I will not over-cooperate and cross that line for your compliance and I will not under-cooperate and run away from the line. Because I realize that a relationship only works when both partners designate the line and know how to meet each other at it.”

If you don’t know how to designate a line, it will always be crossed and worse, if you do not know how to speak up once the line has been crossed, it will be crossed over and over again and that behavior once encouraged, is very difficult to alter.

Everyone deserves to have their needs met. Draw that line and tell others to meet you at it. If they cannot meet you at that line, they cannot play with you. They need to step off your playing field so you can find the partner who can.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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