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Archive for the ‘vulnerability’ Category

… loves WITHOUT conditions.

Anything else is conditional love which is predicated on meeting specific conditions…

Are they educated? check.

Are they the right age? check.

Are they the right body weight? check.

Do they make enough money? check.

Do they have the right social standing? check.

Will they make me look good in public? check.

But what if they didn’t tick these boxes? What then? What if you loved them anyway? Now there’s a dilemma.

But here’s what you need to know…

Conditional love is superficial. Unconditional love is eternal.

Conditional love falls apart when the conditions cease to exist. Unconditional love is free to grow because it’s not predicated on a condition.

Conditional love is choked by it’s own expectations. Unconditional love doesn’t have expectations, but remains open and hopeful.

Conditional love is about “ticking all the boxes.” Unconditional love abandons all requirements.

Conditional love looks to have all its needs met. Unconditional love looks to meet all needs.

Conditional love is selfish, self-centered and unilateral. Unconditional love is selfless and giving.

Conditional love is emotionally immature. Unconditional love is built on maturity and wisdom.

Conditional love is rigid and doesn’t like to take risks. Unconditional love is flexible and lives outside its comfort zone.

Conditional love suffocates under self-imposed rules. Unconditional love is freeing and knows no boundaries.

Conditional love is what you think you want. Unconditional love is what you never knew you wanted.

Unconditional love sneaks up on you — it shows up through a back door while you are at the front door waiting for something else.

Unconditional love is what was standing in front of you all along while you were busy ticking all your boxes and evaluating all your options.

Unconditional love is usually “the one that got away” while you were busy searching out the perfect conditions for it.

Unconditional love loves unconditionally. Anything else just doesn’t cut it. Ask yourself — how do you love?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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… before it gets better.

No one ever said making change is easy. Growth takes hard work.

To become a beautiful butterfly, you have to live through the dark phase of the cocoon.

Giving up and staying in the cocoon isn’t an option. The struggle to get free of the cocoon is the struggle of transformation. How badly do you want to transform your life? Accepting the status quo will never get you out of that cocoon. To get to the light, often times you have to fight your way through the darkness.

Transformation is a lifelong process; it doesn’t happen overnight. Transformation is a series of steps that tend to make things appear worse before they can become better. It’s like any detox process, in order to cleanse the body and heal, the infection or toxins need to first rise to the surface before they can leave the body. So the darkness is temporarily exaggerated before the light of transformation can prevail.

To become something great, you have to do something great. Being great means using your inner strength to fight your way through your own cocoon of darkness. Remember giving up is never an option. Just when the catepillar was ready to give up his struggle, he transformed into a beautiful butterfly and flew away.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

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… gives you a new view.

How you look at things is how they will show up for you. So, if you want to see something differently, shift your perspective of it.

You get what you focus on and so if what you’re focusing on is making you uncomfortable or unhappy, you’ll only foster more of it by focusing your attention onto it. If you want to see something different, refocus your perception of it in order to see it differently.

In other words, you’ll never get to what makes you happy by focusing on what doesn’t, because by focusing on it, you attract more of it.

You can’t change the things you’re looking at, but you can absolutely change the WAY you’re looking at them and that will change everything for you. Take your focus off what is upsetting you and put it onto something that feels better. Focus on the good and you’ll get more of it, focus on the bad and it’ll take over.

You get what you think about whether you want it or not. You cannot control others but you can absolutely control the way they affect you.

Do you want clarity? Don’t just accept the view you’re handed, learn to refocus your lens so you can always see things clearer.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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… until you don’t have any fight left.

If there is someone or something you want in life, you fight for it. Otherwise you lose it.

How do you know it’s worth fighting for?

If its presence in your life makes you better, makes you happier, lifts you, supports you and challenges you to think of things in a new way — it’s worth fighting for.

If its presence in your life doesn’t shift your consciousness, doesn’t make you feel happy & supported, doesn’t uplift you, doesn’t push you beyond yourself, and doesn’t encourage you to be a better version of yourself — it’s not worth the fight.

Just because it’s difficult DOESN’T MEAN it’s NOT worth fighting for.

Anything worth the fight is worth fighting for. And anything difficult that’s worth fighting for, is challenging your sense of commitment and dedication.

If something is right for you, there will always be solutions. If it is NOT right for you, options will seem impossible.

Listen to how you feel. Your emotions tell you everything you need to know about what is right for you. If it feels right to you, fight and fight harder; if it doesn’t feel right and you’re exhausted and depleted, walk away and give the situation time to heal.

Don’t give up the fight until you’ve lost your will to fight. Decide what is worth fighting for, put forth your best effort, and let the universe do the rest. Answers ALWAYS come when YOU DON’T GIVE UP THE FIGHT. 

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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… doesn’t mean you are finished with it.

We think just because it’s behind us that we’re done with our past. But the past doesn’t work that way. The past is only in our past if we have learned what we needed to learn from it and subsequently let it go.

How do you know if you have let it go? You are no longer attached to it.

So if it’s in your past, but you’re still angry about it, you’re still attached to it.

If it’s in your past, but you’re still upset about it, you’re still attached to it.

If it’s in your past, but you’re still hurting over it, you’re still attached to it.

If after all this time, you’re still having a strong emotional response to that person or event, then clearly you are still attached to it and therefore NOT finished with it. For better or worse, it’s very much still alive in your mind and heart.

You cannot run from your past. Unfortunately if you do not deal with it, it will always come back. Your past has a funny way of finding you when it is time to deal with something you’ve buried. So when your past comes back to you, it’s NEVER an unfortunate mishap, it’s the universe’s way of providing you with another opportunity for closure. Take it.

Just because a chapter of your life closes, doesn’t mean you are finished with it. Learn to not only close it, but find the closure in it.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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… renders you BLIND to yourself.

Why use others’ eye sight to see YOURSELF? Why would you want to look at WHO YOU ARE through the lens of someone else? It seems odd, yet we do it all the time.

Sometimes we care too much what people think about us. We allow our identity to be shaped by the opinions of othersbosses, lovers, clients. We turn our own validation over to the whim of those whom we may or may not even respect.

Who you are is NEVER contingent on what anyone else thinks about you. It never matters what they think, it only matters what you think.

If you are prone to identifying yourself through others’ labels, it will just be a matter of time before you fall into a self-imposed identity crisis. Why give your power over to anyone else to feel less than who you are? If people’s opinions of you don’t match yours, don’t take them on. In life, what you buy into is yours, ask yourself if you actually want those opinions. Because once you’ve tried them on and made the purchase, they become yours and then they color your experience of yourself.

Seeing yourself through the eyes of others is a losing strategy; it leaves you blind to yourself. It gives your identity over to others to define who you are. Take back your identity. Shut down other people’s opinions of you unless they support the YOU you know you are. If they are working against you, politely give them back. The YOU you are NEVER needs a lens to be seen. Take off the lens and you’ll never be blinded again.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

 

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… they will run away with you.

And they will not return you to a better place.

Fears, like most negative emotions, have a very low vibration. This means that they have the propensity to manifest very quickly. So, if you put your energy into something you’re fearful of, you will only succeed in bringing it into your existence.

Fear is a perception-based reality. What you fear to be real, will be real for you. It’s all based on your perception. The way you look at things determines how those things play out for you. Speaking in front of 100 people, do you let yourself feel pangs of anxiety and panic or do you translate those nerves into excitement and adrenaline rush? What you perceive to be real will indeed be real for you.

Instead of feeding feelings of fear, why not try and re-interpret those feelings so to empower yourself? When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change and your life changes along with it.

Fear stops you from living. It robs you of your life. It keeps you small and robs you from having experiences. Take back your life, re-interpret those feelings of fear so you can explore deeper levels of yourself.

Fear keeps you stuck. Be brave, re-interpret your fear to uncover the empowerment. It’s always there, it’s just a matter of perception. If you let your fears run your life, they will run away with you and where will that leave you?    It’s your life, take back your power — stop feeding fear and start feeding your life again.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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