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Archive for the ‘Changing People’ Category

… it’s about MAKING the time.

Time has an elusive quality — we never seem to have enough of it and we always seem to be chasing it. But little do we know — time is malleable and can be manipulated.

The most important thing to note is that — It’s not about the time; it’s about the moment. This is what we tend to lose sight of. The moment has everything you’ll ever need and when you’re in the moment, time expands — it seemingly lasts forever. Anyone who has ever stared at a clock for 15 minutes can tell you that.

But we never live in the moment. We happen to be in a moment but we are never really present to it — our minds are projecting us into the next future moment and the next and so on. So we never get to experience the depth and richness of that moment and therefore it quickly passes us by.

If we could learn that time is about being in a moment, not doing something in that moment, then we would find that we feel less rushed and less hurried and our experience of time would slow down. This is because time is an experience of being, not doing or achieving.

But many of us don’t want to be present to our lives because we don’t want to feel emotion, so it’s just easier to fill our schedules with things to do and subsequently we run out of time to do it.

Learn to look at your life differently — learn to be in the moment and feel it for everything it is offering you and let it transform you. You will soon come to see that life isn’t about finding the time to do things, it’s about making the time to be — be with yourself and be with others. When you can make that time to be present in the moment, you’ll have all the time in the world to do everything you need to do in every moment.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

 

 

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… can bring you somewhere new.

Fighting against it, will keep you stuck in it.

Resistance gets you nowhere. What you resists, persists — what you look at disappears. If you’re trying to run from something, it’ll forever have a hold over you. If you can accept it, you can move beyond it. 

Fighting against something keeps it alive in your experience, but accepting it can free up mental/emotional space to help you set your sights elsewhere to create something new. Once you accept the reality, you are free to transform it. 

Don’t spend your time fighting against what you don’t want. Accept that you are where you are in your life (for whatever reason got you there) and now make some new decisions to move into a new direction that better suits you.

Don’t lament where you are in your life. Experience brought you there and acceptance will free you — resistance keeps you trapped. Fighting with your demons keeps you embroiled in a battle with them. Make friends with those demons so that they step aside and let you move on with your life.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… it’s what you’ve experienced that makes up true intelligence.

How smart are you? Intelligence isn’t based on standardized tests or gpa; it’s based on wisdom from experience. How do you really know something unless you’ve lived it? 

Words don’t teach. Only experience teaches.

Knowing something isn’t enough to teach you its value in your life. LIVING IT IS. The experience is everything.

The mind can only answer half the equation. The mind can provide you with the recipe, but if you haven’t made the meal yet how do you know how delicious it will be? Or if it will be too spicy for you? Only the experience will give you the wisdom to know.

Don’t just know something – LIVE IT. Don’t waste time gathering facts, spend it LIVING YOUR LIFE. And don’t worry about making a mistake. Have as many experiences as possible — make your life as messy as possible, it shows you’ve lived it. And through living it, you’ll truly KNOW what’s right for you, because in life, IT ISN’T WHAT YOU KNOW, it’s what you’ve EXPERIENCED that makes up true intelligence. 

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

 

 

 

 

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… will only disappoint you.

We all have our own baseline expectations of how people should behave in given situations BUT expecting people to uphold those expectations is both unrealistic and unfair to everyone.

It’s ok to have high standards for personal decorum, but it’s not ok to put those standards on others.

Putting those standards on others sets them up to fail and sets you up to be disappointed. Let people be who they are and IF WHO THEY ARE DOESN’T WORK FOR YOU – MAKE ANOTHER DECISION, but don’t waste one moment hoping/expecting they’ll show up differently.

Expecting people to be other than who they are is a game you’ll NEVER win. It only sets you up for disappointment when they don’t come through. Recognize that you can’t fix people and you can’t change them, but you can learn to accept them for who they are and LET THEM OFF THE HOOK for everything they cannot be for you. 

People are messy and they come with their own limitations. Don’t get caught up in those limitations – they’ll only frustrate you. Remember that it isn’t your job to hold up a mirror to their lack of self-awareness. If they cannot see themselves, there isn’t anyway you’re going to be able to show them who they are.

Learn to know the cards you are holding – learn to know the person who is sitting right across from you and NEVER EXPECT THEM TO BE OTHER THAN WHO THEY ARE and you’ll never be disappointed.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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… where else would you go?

We all have our personal issues and they always seem to show up through the dance of relationship.

We are very quick to identify other people’s issues, but not as quick to identify our own.

When a breakdown in relationship occurs, there’s a natural tendency to blame and point fingers. But that’s the easy way out. In reality, it takes 2 to tango; issues are seldom one-sided. Learn to own what’s yours and give the rest back. 

You can jump out of a relationship when problems occur, but they’ll just follow you onto the next relationship because wherever you go, you take yourself with you. You pack up all your issues, sling them over your shoulder and bring them forward into the next relationship.

Our bags are pretty full and they’re weighing us down. Wouldn’t it be easier to unpack them, go through them and separate the dirty laundry from the clean? It’s more discreet and constructive to store our baggage in our new partner’s guest closet than it is to explode our dirty laundry all over their front foyer.

Do your work. Own what’s yours and give the rest back. No one is responsible for healing you. You can run from your problems, but you can’t run from yourself. It’ll just be a matter of time before you get caught.

Wherever you go, you take yourself with you. Life can be a long and exhaustive journey. Better to travel light and learn to check your emotions. 

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… is that it’s always changing.

If you’re unhappy with where you are, stick around — it’ll flip soon enough.

Nothing ever stays the same for very long and that’s a good thing. Change is inherent in our universe. What goes up, must come down.

Just like the coin has 2 sides, heads and tails, life has it’s ups and downs. Neither experience is better or worse, they’re just different and provide different learning. And ultimatelyboth sides need to be experienced equally.

Don’t get caught up bemoaning the tails. It’s a waste of your energy. It only keeps you attracting more tails in your life. Remember that for every tail experienced, you get “a-head”, literally.

There’s no good or bad in life, there are only different sides of the coin. Tails are the more challenging experiences that bring you amazing growth. Heads are the rewards for having gotten there. One naturally feels better, the other makes you better. But neither is better than the other.

You want both sides of the coin. They enrich you — they expand you — they push you to your limits — then reward you for your efforts. The flip side of life is that things are always changing and the coin is always flipping. Don’t get caught out lamenting the tails, without them, there would be no heads.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… you’re NOT ready to leave it.

Obviously there’s something there for you that has yet to be uncovered.

If you’re trying to move forward, but can’t, it’s important to recognize that you’re being held back for a reason. There’s something in the place where you currently stand that requires your attention — there’s a learning there for you — there’s a lesson there that needs to be integrated before you can move onto the next stage.

The process of being held back is quite purposeful because your path builds onto itself and each stage of life entails prerequisite learning. Therefore, if you haven’t internalized a lesson at a given stage, you’ll be prevented from moving onto the next stage.

What are you not seeing? What are you not looking at? It’s usually something that you’ve shoved away in a closet with resolve never to open. Rest assured that your life will not let you move forward until you open it and do the work on moving past it. 

If you’re stuck in the same place, you’re not ready to leave it. You may WANT to leave it, but you lack the learning necessary to move forward. The universe will always protect you from moving onto a stage until you have the tools to deal with it. Don’t spend your time being frustrated, spend it cleaning out your closets. Skeletons don’t go away, they’ll only haunt you until you pull them out of your closet — then they are just a pile of bones.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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