Betrayal Never Hurts The Betrayed

… it only hurts the betrayer.

Ironic, but true.

To be betrayed is the greatest gift because it shows you someone’s true colors. But as humans, we get caught up in the drama of the betrayal. But in reality, it never matters WHY you were betrayed, or HOW you were betrayed, what matters is that you identify the betrayer. That person is NOT true to you nor do they hold your best interests. In the long run, that is much more valuable information.

Betrayal is a morality game. And by virtue of the fact that one betrays another, the karmic debt rests on their shoulders.

The betrayed can walk away with a clean conscience assuming they’re innocent. The betrayer must live with their actions and the consequences of which always carry a karmic price tag, not to mention the regret of deceit weighs heavily on the soul.

If you’ve been betrayed, don’t spend your energy trying to justify yourself or your situation and don’t feel victimized. Know you deserve better and pick your head up high and keep walking. The betrayer may have gotten what they wanted in the short run, but in the long run, the betrayed always wins because they now know who they will NEVER TRUST AGAIN and that alone is worth its weight in gold.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Read Full Post »

Trying Too Hard

… makes things harder then they need to be.

No one is saying don’t work hard, but there is a tipping point where trying too hard and pushing against resistance creates more problems.

How do you know when “working hard” becomes “trying too hard”?

When it ceases to be enjoyable.

When you feel like your efforts are going nowhere.

When you find you are hitting your head on the same wall over and over again and it is still not yielding.

When the frustration and stagnation of the current stasis has sufficiently depleted you.

If something is not coming together, there is usually a reason why – and that reason is always valid. Resistance on your path is very purposeful. It keeps you from progressing further in a given direction. Recognize that the resistance is there to help you, not hurt you. Pushing against the resistance makes things harder then they need to be. By pushing your agenda forward, you are complicating your life.

Don’t make your life harder then it needs to be. Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it. And in time you’ll realize that you never really wanted it.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

Read Full Post »

Just Because A Chapter of Your Life Closes

… doesn’t mean you are finished with it.

We think just because it’s behind us that we’re done with our past. But the past doesn’t work that way. The past is only in our past if we have learned what we needed to learn from it and subsequently let it go.

How do you know if you have let it go? You are no longer attached to it.

So if it’s in your past, but you’re still angry about it, you’re still attached to it.

If it’s in your past, but you’re still upset about it, you’re still attached to it.

If it’s in your past, but you’re still hurting over it, you’re still attached to it.

If after all this time, you’re still having a strong emotional response to that person or event, then clearly you are still attached to it and therefore NOT finished with it. For better or worse, it’s very much still alive in your mind and heart.

You cannot run from your past. Unfortunately if you do not deal with it, it will always come back. Your past has a funny way of finding you when it is time to deal with something you’ve buried. So when your past comes back to you, it’s NEVER an unfortunate mishap, it’s the universe’s way of providing you with another opportunity for closure. Take it.

Just because a chapter of your life closes, doesn’t mean you are finished with it. Learn to not only close it, but find the closure in it.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

Read Full Post »

When People Try to Tear You Down

…they are trying to pull themselves up to your level.

Because you have something they want and they are trying to compete for it.

It’s actually a sign of admiration.

But many of us fall into the drama of being “stabbed in the back” or “betrayed.” But it doesn’t have to be that way. You don’t have to become part of someone else’s “jealousy story.” You don’t have to own it. It’s not yours.

Just know that people who do not feel good about themselves will try and take you down. And sadly, anyone who tries to take you down doesn’t believe in their own ability to rise up. But you can’t change that for them.

If people try to tear you down, don’t fall into the drama of it, take it as the compliment it is and detach from their venom. In time, they will learn that they will NEVER get what they wish someone else didn’t have. In the interim, you’ll rise even higher when you learn to detach from their lower vibratory games.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

Read Full Post »

The Wheel of Karma Keeps Spinning

… as long as you’re still on it.

If there is negativity between you and someone else, then you are karmically connected to that person whether you want to be or not. Did they harm you, humiliate you or slight you in any way? Are you angry with them or hurt by their actions? If so, you are karmically bound to them until that karma is repaid or worked through somehow.

How do you work through it, you might ask? Working through karma is NEVER about winning or getting even. If you are still feeling the need to do that, you haven’t gotten the lesson yet. Do you really want to be free of this person? Then learn to free yourself from the karmic wheel. Freedom does NOT come from fighting and winning, it comes from FORGIVENESS – forgiving yourself as well as forgiving the other person.

Every negative situation you encounter helps you to be a better person. Once you can understand what you were meant to learn from the experience and how it made you grow into a better person, then you can forgive the situation and eventually forgive the other person thus freeing you from karma’s grip. That is the space where real freedom and healing takes place.

Balancing karma establishes harmony in relationships. You do not have to balance karma by playing the “tit for tat” game. You can rise above that game and jump ahead to your own freedom by forgiving yourself and forgiving the person/situation.

Forgiveness frees you from the karmic wheel. Trying to get even keeps you stuck on it. The wheel of karma will always keep spinning. Ask yourself if you want to be on it?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Read Full Post »

When People Tell You Who They Are

… believe them.

So often we want to believe in the good of others. We want to give them the benefit of the doubt. We see so much potential in them – so much so, that we are willing to overlook anything to the contrary. We make excuses for people, we turn a cheek to pain and betrayal in hopes that it will never happen again. We assure ourselves that every indignation is a one-off – “they are just having a bad day,” we tell ourselves.

Now understand that it is a great gift to be able to believe in people and see their hearts… to believe in them and see what no one else sees… But at the same time, it is a great curse to ignore what is right in front of you.

When people tell you (by way of showing you) who they are, believe them. Talk (and email) is very cheap. We use vocabulary as manipulation. Actions are the most telling. When you enter that new relationship, the first time that person crosses your boundaries, make a note – this is who they are. They may not say as such, but their actions tell you everything you need to know. When they offer bad behavior upfront, do not believe in their potential to change. Do not think that you are an exception to the rule – that you will somehow change them – that you will somehow convert them into a better version of themselves. It never works.

As Sarah McLachlan says in Dirty Little Secret, “I’ve relied on my illusions to keep me warm at night.”  We all rely heavily on our illusions to comfort us and help us to ignore what is right in front of us. Somehow making up a better version of it all can make it seem alright and consequently justify the time we have invested into the relationship.

In reality people do not change, and it is wrong of you to expect that they will. People can want to change and can even go through the motions of trying to change, but at its essence level, change is extremely difficult – especially the older we get and the less disciplined we are. If you want a healthy relationship, be a good “listener” and hear what is actually being “said” to you. When people tell you who they are, believe them.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Read Full Post »