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Posts Tagged ‘wisdom’

… loves WITHOUT conditions.

Anything else is conditional love which is predicated on meeting specific conditions…

Are they educated? check.

Are they the right age? check.

Are they the right body weight? check.

Do they make enough money? check.

Do they have the right social standing? check.

Will they make me look good in public? check.

But what if they didn’t tick these boxes? What then? What if you loved them anyway? Now there’s a dilemma.

But here’s what you need to know…

Conditional love is superficial. Unconditional love is eternal.

Conditional love falls apart when the conditions cease to exist. Unconditional love is free to grow because it’s not predicated on a condition.

Conditional love is choked by it’s own expectations. Unconditional love doesn’t have expectations, but remains open and hopeful.

Conditional love is about “ticking all the boxes.” Unconditional love abandons all requirements.

Conditional love looks to have all its needs met. Unconditional love looks to meet all needs.

Conditional love is selfish, self-centered and unilateral. Unconditional love is selfless and giving.

Conditional love is emotionally immature. Unconditional love is built on maturity and wisdom.

Conditional love is rigid and doesn’t like to take risks. Unconditional love is flexible and lives outside its comfort zone.

Conditional love suffocates under self-imposed rules. Unconditional love is freeing and knows no boundaries.

Conditional love is what you think you want. Unconditional love is what you never knew you wanted.

Unconditional love sneaks up on you — it shows up through a back door while you are at the front door waiting for something else.

Unconditional love is what was standing in front of you all along while you were busy ticking all your boxes and evaluating all your options.

Unconditional love is usually “the one that got away” while you were busy searching out the perfect conditions for it.

Unconditional love loves unconditionally. Anything else just doesn’t cut it. Ask yourself — how do you love?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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… walk away with love.

ALWAYS with love.

Our lives consist of many different types of relationships, but not every one of those relationships is meant to be in your life forever. And even those that are, seldom make it there, unfortunately.

Not everyone will understand you and support who you are. Not everyone will appreciate you and not take you for granted. Not everyone will make time for you. Not everyone will be able to communicate with you. Not everyone will recognize the beauty in your relationship until it’s too late. And certainly not everyone will recognize what they have lost until they have truly lost it. That’s generally how it works.

And some people NEVER learn but remain comfortable in their patterns — forever blaming their patterns for why they cannot move forward. And forever repeating those patterns in hopes that one day they find the “magic person” who can fix it for them. But that never works.

Relationships aren’t important for where they bring you to, they are only important for how they have changed you.

If people you are involved with cannot see the value of what you bring to the table, then they do not get to have you.

But love them anyway.

Love them because they taught you so much about yourself. Love them because they helped shape your heart and open your mind. Love them because they unveiled your hidden pain and your fears so you could work on them. Love them because they taught you what you do and DO NOT want to experience in a relationship. Love them because it is that love that will transform you. And finally love them, because if you don’t, you will just carry the scars of that hurt forward into your next relationship. And you deserve better than that.

When people can’t appreciate what they have in you, don’t fight them, quietly disappear from their lives, and take that love with you. When you leave with love, you leave with all the learning that made you BETTER. You are the one who wins. Let that love transform you on your path forward and happily open you up to a new tomorrow.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… casts you onto their stage.

And you don’t need to be on their stage.

Everyone has a story and drama queens’ stories tend to be intense, erratic and exhausting. They’re needing a different type of connection to you which they’re currently not getting, so they create a type of drama in order to elicit it from you.

Sometimes they create drama in romantic relationships as a means of getting your attention if they are feeling a lack of connection/emotion/communication, etc..

Sometimes they create drama at work or other situations as a means of distraction away from something they do NOT want YOU to see or a distraction away from something THEY do NOT want to see. Sometimes they do it to distract themselves away from doing their own personal work.

And sometimes they create drama just so that they can feel some type of aliveness energy. They tend to be very passionate people who need to feel and if the situation isn’t giving them a rush, they might create some type of drama so that they can feel some sort of exhilaration.

But regardless, drama queens own their stage and you don’t need to be on it. Life is too short to be living out someone else’s drama. Recognize when the drama is starting and learn to exit stage left as quickly as possible.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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… before it gets better.

No one ever said making change is easy. Growth takes hard work.

To become a beautiful butterfly, you have to live through the dark phase of the cocoon.

Giving up and staying in the cocoon isn’t an option. The struggle to get free of the cocoon is the struggle of transformation. How badly do you want to transform your life? Accepting the status quo will never get you out of that cocoon. To get to the light, often times you have to fight your way through the darkness.

Transformation is a lifelong process; it doesn’t happen overnight. Transformation is a series of steps that tend to make things appear worse before they can become better. It’s like any detox process, in order to cleanse the body and heal, the infection or toxins need to first rise to the surface before they can leave the body. So the darkness is temporarily exaggerated before the light of transformation can prevail.

To become something great, you have to do something great. Being great means using your inner strength to fight your way through your own cocoon of darkness. Remember giving up is never an option. Just when the catepillar was ready to give up his struggle, he transformed into a beautiful butterfly and flew away.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

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… brings you to the next.

Projecting into a future moment — leaves you stranded.

Being in the present moment is the roadmap to our lives. Living in a future moment sends us careening off-course.

Life isn’t about the future destination of where you’re headed, it’s about the present moment journey into yourself. And every great journey is born out of one step, because one step brings you to the next one, which brings you to the next one, and so on.

Being in the moment secures you on your path. When you are open to the wisdom of the moment, you are infinitely guided to the next step along your journey because you are moving along a path you are standing on. But when you’re living ahead of the moment and projecting yourself into a future moment (which doesn’t yet exist), you are throwing yourself off your path into the bushes and blind guessing where it might lead.

The future doesn’t have your answers. The moment has every answer you will ever need.

Don’t ask your future where you’re headed. The roadmap to your life is secured in this moment. The future moment may never come. If you base your destination on a future moment, you will have missed the richness of all the moments along the way.

Being in this moment brings you to the next. Never make a decision in the future based on a probable outcome which may never come. The only moment you have is in the NOW. When you make your decisions based on this moment, you’re on your path. When you make decisions based on a future moment, you are off in the bushes. Where do you want to be?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

 

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… doesn’t mean you are finished with it.

We think just because it’s behind us that we’re done with our past. But the past doesn’t work that way. The past is only in our past if we have learned what we needed to learn from it and subsequently let it go.

How do you know if you have let it go? You are no longer attached to it.

So if it’s in your past, but you’re still angry about it, you’re still attached to it.

If it’s in your past, but you’re still upset about it, you’re still attached to it.

If it’s in your past, but you’re still hurting over it, you’re still attached to it.

If after all this time, you’re still having a strong emotional response to that person or event, then clearly you are still attached to it and therefore NOT finished with it. For better or worse, it’s very much still alive in your mind and heart.

You cannot run from your past. Unfortunately if you do not deal with it, it will always come back. Your past has a funny way of finding you when it is time to deal with something you’ve buried. So when your past comes back to you, it’s NEVER an unfortunate mishap, it’s the universe’s way of providing you with another opportunity for closure. Take it.

Just because a chapter of your life closes, doesn’t mean you are finished with it. Learn to not only close it, but find the closure in it.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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cryinggirlwallpaper6… it WOULDN’T be happening.

You’re never dealt a hand you are NOT able to play.

Your life exists in perfect orchestration. All situations that show up, show up for a reason. They show up because they need to be worked through. They show up because there is a key lesson in it for you. They show up to make you BETTER.

Don’t avoid them. Don’t lament them. Don’t get angered by those situations. Just put your head down and get through them the best way you know how. Trust the process of your life — if it wasn’t meant to be happening, it wouldn’t be happening. It’s NOT up to you to fight against what is happening, it is up to you to move through the experience and positively transform it.

When something is challenging you or frustrating you, HAVE AT IT. Don’t run away from it. Accept its presence, stand up to it, and allow it’s wisdom to wash over you. Don’t make it harder then it has to be. Don’t focus on the drama of the situation, focus on your ability to transform it. Before you know it, you will have learned what you needed to learn and a new and improved situation will very quickly show up in replacement. What are you waiting for?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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