Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Givers and Takers’ Category

if-something-feels-right… it FEELS right.

You just know it. It doesn’t have to make sense.

In life, it’s all about what you FEEL, not what you KNOW — believe it or not.

In our daily lives, we tend to make decisions from our head, not our heart; therein is our problem.

Decision making can be complicated — our first thought is always from the heart/the intuition/the soul — it gets you excited and enthusiastic about a course of action — “I can do this, I can leave my job and start something new for myself.”

The second thought is born of the head/fear/the ego — it quickly comes in to override your creative impulse and give you every reason why it CAN’T be done — “I can’t do this, I don’t have enough money saved, I don’t have the education or the experience, etc…”

The head is limiting. The heart is expansive.

The head will keep you small by “keeping you safe” while the heart will push you to take chances and will expand you beyond your comfort zone where greatness awaits.

A safe life will NEVER make you great. When making a decision ask yourself WHAT FEELS RIGHT — NOT WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT. The right answer is always in HOW YOU FEEL, NOT WHAT YOU KNOW.

Allow yourself to feel your way though your life and if something resonates with you, move in that direction. The resources and the know-how will always follow. You are never without your own guidance system. You will always know if something is right for you because of the way it makes you feel. How are you feeling today?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

Read Full Post »

How people treat you… is about THEM and where they are in their life.

It’s NOT about you.

How you REACT is about YOU.

The way people treat you is more a reflection of who they are and where they are in their life at that moment, then it’s ever about you. But we tend to make it about us. 

You can never control how someone treats you, but you can always control how you react to them and that’s your only job.

As long as you are accepting responsibility for your life and your actions and you are consciously showing up as the best version of yourself everyday, then you’re being YOUR BEST YOU and no one can ask more of you.

How people treat you says more about where they are in their own level of consciousness and that is a playing field that you do not have to play in. Stay in your own field. Own your own behaviors, strive to be the best YOU everyday and if it isn’t good enough for someone else, realize that it’s most likely because they aren’t feeling good enough about themselves.

Stay in your own playing field. How people treat you is NEVER about you, it’s always about them. Let them learn to manage their own playing field and more importantly, keep them out of yours.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

Read Full Post »

th… leaves you feeling drained and depleted.

We call them “energy vampires” – they take and take and never learn to give back in equal measure.

Some of us make the mistake of giving and giving – physically, mentally and emotionally to others and thinking that it will somehow come back to us? But it doesn’t always work that way. Givers are givers and takers tend to be takers. That doesn’t make them bad; it just makes them different from you. Not everyone is capable of giving to the same extent that you might be.

Some people are just naturally capable of GIVING MORE to others and some people are naturally accustomed to RECEIVING IT. Ask yourself how you show up in your relationships and then realize who you are and what level of giving you require in a harmonious relationship and DON’T ACCEPT LESS.

People will always take what is on offer so STOP GIVING if it is depleting you. It doesn’t win you any prizes. It isn’t necessary to continually support an energy vampire if they do not know how to support you in return. You never want to prioritize someone who makes you an option.

Even the sweetest, most kind-hearted and sensitive beings can be energy vampires if they do not know how to show up for you the way you need them to. Again, that doesn’t make them bad, it just makes them NOT RIGHT FOR YOU. Look for someone “in your league” – someone who deeply cares for you and for your wellbeing and someone WHO KNOWS HOW TO SHOW YOU THAT by SHOWING UP FOR YOU. In other words, look for someone who matches your level of giving. If it is “all about them,” they are most likely not at your level.

There’s no reason to be resentful. Don’t hold it against someone for not giving to you; most of them are simply incapable of doing so. A better question to be asking is – “why you have been giving someone so many chances to disappoint you?” It isn’t about someone NOT GIVING BACK TO YOU in as much as it’s about WHY YOU ARE CONTINUALLY GIVING TO SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T GIVE THE SAME IN RETURN.

People don’t change. Zebras don’t change their stripes because yours are prettier. It’s not enough enticement. Stop giving to those who cannot give back to you and start GIVING THEM UP. Give back to yourself the energy you put into them and before you know it, you will attract a much higher level soul who will be able to give back to you in equal measure. It’s all in the giving that we receive.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

 

Read Full Post »

th… CHANGING the behavior does.

Sorry is just a word; albeit an important word that accepts responsibility for a hurtful or inappropriate action. But let’s be honest, it’s just a word – and a word can never change an action.

Sorry is nice but when it is NOT followed up with better behavior, it becomes manipulative. Sorry is a way of gaining someone’s trust and loyalty, but if the behavior remains unchanged, sorry just becomes a placating and deceitful sentiment. Furthermore, you can only hear “sorry” so many times before it no longer has any resonance for you.

If someone is truly sorry for their actions, they STOP the behavior and they become a better version of themselves. If they are not truly sorry for their actions or they are just acting unconsciously, their actions will unfortunately continue. “Sorry” only goes so far, if the behavior remains unchanged, people shut down to it and walk away, understandably so.

Sorry doesn’t make things better. Changing the behavior does. Don’t try to manipulate someone by placating them with “sorry.” If you do, you’ll be the one who is sorry when they give up on you and finally walk away.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

 

Read Full Post »

th-4… or you CANNOT play with me.

This is the game of boundaries. If you do NOT delineate your boundaries with others, they are certain to be crossed and it will NOT be the other person’s fault.

Everyone needs to set clear boundaries for themselves in order to be happy and to have their needs met. But if you are not setting those boundaries for yourself and for the other person, how do they know where they are?

Boundaries designate the rules of the game and without them, there is relative chaos where no one knows how to optimally play the game and no one knows if they’ve crossed a line and sabotaged the game.

Do you know who you are? And do you know what you need in a relationship? Whether it be a work situation, friendship or romantic relationship, you always have to draw that line. What exactly is the line? It is your position in the relationship – it clearly defines your expectations – it is what you NEED to be fulfilled and happy and it is also what you will NOT tolerate. 

When you enter a relationship – any relationship – tell that person, “Here’s my line. If you want to dance with me, you have to meet me at the line. I will not over-cooperate and cross that line for your compliance and I will not under-cooperate and run away from the line. Because I realize that a relationship only works when both partners designate the line and know how to meet each other at it.”

If you don’t know how to designate a line, it will always be crossed and worse, if you do not know how to speak up once the line has been crossed, it will be crossed over and over again and that behavior once encouraged, is very difficult to alter.

Everyone deserves to have their needs met. Draw that line and tell others to meet you at it. If they cannot meet you at that line, they cannot play with you. They need to step off your playing field so you can find the partner who can.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

Read Full Post »

th-2… act like jerks.

They just do.

They don’t mean to act like jerks. They are in pain and they have no choice but to lighten their load of that pain by dumping it onto others. In other words, people in pain only know how to heal themselves by hurting others. Deep seated emotional pain builds over time. And pain is such a heavy burden to carry so when people in pain lash out and spew anger at you, it lightens their load and they feel temporarily better. It’s fairly simple but toxic to the person who bears the brunt of that venom.

People in pain not only lash out at you to release some of that pain but they inadvertently allow that pain to shut them down to you as well. In other words, that pain is so heavy that it blots out any other emotion or ability to connect with others. That pain blocks their ability to be empathetic to your needs, it blocks their ability to hear you when you need help, it blocks their ability to be open in a relationship, it blocks their ability to hear constructive criticism, it blocks their ability to be there for others. It only succeeds in creating an angry, aggressive and selfish being who has allowed their pain to isolate them from the rest of the world.

What to do? When people in pain lash out at you, don’t take it on as yours. Recognize that they are not being jerks for no reason, they are in pain and the only way they know how to cope is to throw it at you. Be the bigger person. Recognize they are in pain and cast their drama aside. It’s not yours to carry. Learn to silently say to yourself, “I recognize you are in pain. I don’t need to add to it, so I will just step over here and you can throw your tantrum on someone else. Have a nice day.”

Fighting back with someone in pain never yields the balance you both deserve. Remember when people are in pain, they act like jerks. Send love to that person and it will help to alleviate some of their pain. No one wants to be a jerk. They just do not have the tools they need to heal.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

 

Read Full Post »

My new book launches March 2015 and will be available on Amazon.com March 30th.

Well, it is finally here! My NEW BOOK, “Life Lessons: Everything You Ever Wished You Had Learned in Kindergarten: is NOW AVAILABLE on AMAZON.COM for pre-sell!! It will be available at Barnes & Nobles and other major booksellers and for E-readers in the coming weeks! Stay tuned!

PURCHASE HERE

LEARN MORE HERE

 

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »