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Posts Tagged ‘divorce’

… but not always for the reasons you think.

If someone is standing right in front of you, they are there for a reason. That relationship has something to teach you or contribute to you. But it may not be what you are expecting or hoping for. 

We tend to label relationships before we understand their purpose in our lives.

Not every relationship is meant to be in your life forever, but it is meant to be in your life for a purpose. 

For example…

Not every love relationship leads to marriage. Some guarantee heartache so you can learn what real love doesn’t look like.

Not every business partnership leads to success. Some ensure failure so you’ll understand how to become successful on your own.

Not every friendship leads to lifetime loyalty. Some encourage betrayal so you’ll learn to trust yourself and rely on your own inner power.

Not every employee respects your power. Some challenge it so you can learn to step fully into that power and own it.

Not every team player supports your team’s initiatives. Some push back on them so you can learn to evolve those initiatives in a stronger way.

Relationships may not always give you what you want; but they’ll always give you what they came to give.

Every relationship is purposeful; your only job is to identify the purpose and let it off the hook for everything else. 

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… determines how you move forward.

In life, the way you leave relationships and situations determines the lasting influence they will have over you.

Do you walk away angry or resentful? If so, you’re still attached to that person/situation; you’re not emotionally free. Harboring negative emotions keeps you bound to the very person/situation you are trying to escape.

Do you leave with understanding and compassion? If so, you are beginning to cultivate a degree of detachment from the scenario that has you bound.

It’s all about how you let go. If you let go with negative emotions, those emotions keep you stuck reliving the drama and keeping the pain alive — it keeps reminding you that there’s no resolution.

If you can start looking at the constructive reasons for letting go and the ways it benefits you, you’ll be released from the clutches of attachment and begin to free yourself from the pain of the past.

How you leave things determines how you move forward… Don’t hold onto the pain of the past, you will only carry it with you. Learn to let go with love and that love will transform every new encounter you have.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… they NEVER stay the same.

Why do we think that making a commitment means forever? Our universe is in a constant state of flux — everything changes, nothing remains static.

We, ourselves are continuously growing and changing and our commitments must reflect that evolution if they’re to remain relevant and supportive of our needs. 

Commitments should be fluid — they should never drown you. They should ebb and flow and morph with you. Anything that confines you suppresses your creativity; anything that moves with you gives you new life.

You’re never stuck in a commitment. If it’s a healthy commitment, it knows how to evolve with you.

So go ahead, make a commitment — any commitment, it doesn’t matter which commitment you make because in reality, you can never make a mistake. Commitments evolve and commitments bring you deeper into your experience. They help you to know better what is right/wrong for you. So pick a direction and commit to it. And if a commitment is no longer serving you and no longer evolving with your needs, re-think it. That’s life. No one commitment can serve you forever.

Your life is a foundation of commitments — in order to get somewhere, you have to start some place, so commit to it. For your life path to evolve, you have to first get onto one. Make that commitment, go deeper into your experience and the rest of your life will naturally unfold.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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… doesn’t MAKE it work.

It just exhausts you.

There is only so much you can do to make a situation or a relationship work. At some point you have to be willing to walk away from it if it is not meeting your needs. In other words, you have to learn WHEN to walk away from what is NOT working, so you can free up the space to find what will.

You can’t repeatedly look at what’s not working and resent it for not being different.

It’s not others’ fault for not meeting your needs, it’s your fault for allowing them to continually disappoint you.

Don’t look to change others. Look to change yourself. If you are not getting your needs met, look somewhere else. Don’t make someone responsible for your happiness, take charge of it yourself.

Holding on to what doesn’t work, doesn’t make it work. It just breaks you down and takes your power away from you. Love yourself enough to ask for better and you just might get it.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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… walk away with love.

ALWAYS with love.

Our lives consist of many different types of relationships, but not every one of those relationships is meant to be in your life forever. And even those that are, seldom make it there, unfortunately.

Not everyone will understand you and support who you are. Not everyone will appreciate you and not take you for granted. Not everyone will make time for you. Not everyone will be able to communicate with you. Not everyone will recognize the beauty in your relationship until it’s too late. And certainly not everyone will recognize what they have lost until they have truly lost it. That’s generally how it works.

And some people NEVER learn but remain comfortable in their patterns — forever blaming their patterns for why they cannot move forward. And forever repeating those patterns in hopes that one day they find the “magic person” who can fix it for them. But that never works.

Relationships aren’t important for where they bring you to, they are only important for how they have changed you.

If people you are involved with cannot see the value of what you bring to the table, then they do not get to have you.

But love them anyway.

Love them because they taught you so much about yourself. Love them because they helped shape your heart and open your mind. Love them because they unveiled your hidden pain and your fears so you could work on them. Love them because they taught you what you do and DO NOT want to experience in a relationship. Love them because it is that love that will transform you. And finally love them, because if you don’t, you will just carry the scars of that hurt forward into your next relationship. And you deserve better than that.

When people can’t appreciate what they have in you, don’t fight them, quietly disappear from their lives, and take that love with you. When you leave with love, you leave with all the learning that made you BETTER. You are the one who wins. Let that love transform you on your path forward and happily open you up to a new tomorrow.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… makes things harder then they need to be.

No one is saying don’t work hard, but there is a tipping point where trying too hard and pushing against resistance creates more problems.

How do you know when “working hard” becomes “trying too hard”?

When it ceases to be enjoyable.

When you feel like your efforts are going nowhere.

When you find you are hitting your head on the same wall over and over again and it is still not yielding.

When the frustration and stagnation of the current stasis has sufficiently depleted you.

If something is not coming together, there is usually a reason why – and that reason is always valid. Resistance on your path is very purposeful. It keeps you from progressing further in a given direction. Recognize that the resistance is there to help you, not hurt you. Pushing against the resistance makes things harder then they need to be. By pushing your agenda forward, you are complicating your life.

Don’t make your life harder then it needs to be. Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it. And in time you’ll realize that you never really wanted it.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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… until you don’t have any fight left.

If there is someone or something you want in life, you fight for it. Otherwise you lose it.

How do you know it’s worth fighting for?

If its presence in your life makes you better, makes you happier, lifts you, supports you and challenges you to think of things in a new way — it’s worth fighting for.

If its presence in your life doesn’t shift your consciousness, doesn’t make you feel happy & supported, doesn’t uplift you, doesn’t push you beyond yourself, and doesn’t encourage you to be a better version of yourself — it’s not worth the fight.

Just because it’s difficult DOESN’T MEAN it’s NOT worth fighting for.

Anything worth the fight is worth fighting for. And anything difficult that’s worth fighting for, is challenging your sense of commitment and dedication.

If something is right for you, there will always be solutions. If it is NOT right for you, options will seem impossible.

Listen to how you feel. Your emotions tell you everything you need to know about what is right for you. If it feels right to you, fight and fight harder; if it doesn’t feel right and you’re exhausted and depleted, walk away and give the situation time to heal.

Don’t give up the fight until you’ve lost your will to fight. Decide what is worth fighting for, put forth your best effort, and let the universe do the rest. Answers ALWAYS come when YOU DON’T GIVE UP THE FIGHT. 

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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