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Posts Tagged ‘motivational’

… doesn’t MAKE it work.

It just exhausts you.

There is only so much you can do to make a situation or a relationship work. At some point you have to be willing to walk away from it if it is not meeting your needs. In other words, you have to learn WHEN to walk away from what is NOT working, so you can free up the space to find what will.

You can’t repeatedly look at what’s not working and resent it for not being different.

It’s not others’ fault for not meeting your needs, it’s your fault for allowing them to continually disappoint you.

Don’t look to change others. Look to change yourself. If you are not getting your needs met, look somewhere else. Don’t make someone responsible for your happiness, take charge of it yourself.

Holding on to what doesn’t work, doesn’t make it work. It just breaks you down and takes your power away from you. Love yourself enough to ask for better and you just might get it.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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th-7… or you’ll NEVER get it.

Speak up or you’ll NEVER be heard.

And ironically if you don’t, you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.

Things do not magically change because you want them to change. They change when you do something about it. The name of the game is communication – simple, direct and honest.

In life, YOU DO NOT GET WHAT YOU DO NOT ASK FOR. So start asking. It isn’t anyone else’s responsibility to give you what you need, it is your responsibility to honor yourself and ask for it. People cannot help you if you do not first help yourself by articulating your unhappiness and being clear about what it is you really need.

But our biggest problem is that we stay stuck in situations that no longer serve us and relationships that no longer nurture our growth. And we wonder why we are left unhappy and depressed? By living your life in a state of inertia, nothing can ever change until an act of will propels the situation forward.

Don’t waste your time blaming others for your unhappiness. If you can’t articulate yourself clearly then you will NEVER get your needs met and you can NEVER blame anyone else for it.

If something in your life needs to change, speak up or forever hold your peace. And don’t think you are doing others a favor by staying quiet, you are hurting everyone by keeping the peace. Your life and believe it or not, the lives of others, only improves when you decide to do something about your situation. How do you want to live you life?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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th-8… is attachment.

Attachment to any one thing working out the way you want it to/need it to – be it a job, relationship, situation, etc… If you need it to happen in a certain way by a certain time and with certain parameters, you are attached to it. And if you are attached to an outcome, you will suffer when that outcome is not achieved. 

Attachment is dangerous because it implies that you know what is right for you in life. Trust me, you don’t always know what’s right for you. Generally speaking there are 3 outcomes: what you want, what you need and what is right for you – they are not always the same thing. In fact, we tend to mistakenly think that what we want or need is what is right for us. Therein is the root of suffering.

It is OK to have hopes, dreams and goals, but it is NOT OK to hold onto a specific outcome. If you don’t get what you want, learn to let it go and trust that there is something much better around the corner. When you can learn to not attach to a given outcome, you generally find that what you receive is much better than what you thought you were going to get. 

Learn to minimize the amount of suffering in your life. Let go of needing things to be the way you want them to be and let things be the way they are. Adopt this strategy and you might find that things work out even better than you could have imagined.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter.

 

 

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Numbing Yourself… is a way of distracting yourself AWAY FROM YOUR PAIN.

And we all do it. And we are mostly unconscious of it.

You see, we all have “edges” (boundaries) and when we come up to an edge, we generally and very instinctively run away from it so not to feel the pain that could arise by bumping into that edge.

The “edges” represent a line of emotion that if crossed, the psyche tells us we will feel pain and it is human nature to avoid pain. So when we come up against one of our edges, we usually “run away” by numbing ourselves in a myriad of ways. Maybe you recognize some of them?

over-indulging in addictive behaviors – food, drink, drugs, video games, sex, etc…

– distracting ourselves with our work/career

– “being too busy”/over-scheduled

– distracting/preoccupying oneself so not to have to focus on what another is saying to us or not having the time to see our own patterns playing out

putting on armor so people do not know who really are

– changing the subject when the topic pushes an edge of ours

avoiding deep conversations/connections with others that could potentially hit an edge of ours

– blaming others for our own wrong doings

We may also hit an edge when someone hurts us or when someone loves us more than we love ourselves.

So inevitably, romantic love brings up all our edges. If your life strategy includes hiding from your edges, you will never feel comfortable with someone whom you innately know will push that edge.

The problem isn’t that we have edges, it’s that we spend an inordinate amount of time trying to avoid hitting those edges. But the thing about edges is that they blunt over time – if you approach them often enough. The more experience you have coming up to those edges and experiencing your fears, the less sharp those edges are.

When you come up to an edge, it is your indication that you are feeling an emotion that does not feel safe, but every emotion is there to teach you something about yourself. Dive in.

Avoiding your edges and numbing yourself so you never feel them will NEVER serve you. Your emotionality will never evolve. Do the work on those emotions when they come up and you will find that you know yourself much better and you become emotionally stronger. Know your edges. Know what they bring up. And don’t avoid hitting them. A better day is ahead of you once you wake up from your tranquilized slumber.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

 

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th-4… rewrite your story.

After all, it’s YOURS to rewrite.

We all have a story. Our stories define our lives, but we forget that we are the authors of our stories and that we can rewrite our stories whenever we like.

You are never trapped in your story, if you do not like the chapter you find yourself in, rewrite a new ending – one that better fits you, one that better excites you, one that helps you make amends to the past and inspires you towards a better future.

It doesn’t matter where you have found yourself in your story, you can decide in this moment to change it. You are in full control and can change your story on a dime. If your past is harassing you, erase it and rewrite a new history for yourself and in your next moment, it will become your reality. If you do not like how you have shown up for yourself or others, start now and rewrite your role. Be the YOU you want to be and don’t feel imprisoned by the you you’ve been all along.

If you do not like what you are looking at, change it. You have a general script in place which is your destiny/fate. But you were given free will and that gives you the pencil/eraser to change any and all of it whenever you like. You are never bound to your story, you are always free to explore the parameters of your dreams.

What is holding you up? You are the only one keeping yourself stuck in a story that you’ve outgrown. When you decide to allow yourself to be happy, you will rewrite your story and allow yourself the opportunity to live the life you truly want to live, not the life you consequently find yourself living. There is a difference.

You hold the pen, you are the author, if you are unhappy with what is going on in your life, rewrite your story. Your story begins and ends with you. Why would you give anyone else the pen?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

 

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th-2… you’ll never win.

Your work is to live YOUR LIFE, no one else’s. It doesn’t matter who has what in their life, it only matters that you focus your energy on what it is you have and what you want to create.

Everything is energy and if you put your energy into obsessing over what you think everyone else has, then you will have less energy to put into your own success. Envying others dilutes your energy and renders you powerless to fulfill your dreams. In other words, comparing yourself to others is guaranteed to make sure you never get what they have.

Put your energy and thoughts back into yourself. Focus on what it is YOU want to create in your life and don’t give anymore of your energy and resources to wishing you were more like someone else or had more of something else. Keep your energy for yourself and channel it into living the life of your dreams, otherwise you will never have it.

Do you want to be happy? Stop comparing yourself to others and give yourself a chance to create the very life you seek.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

 

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th-2… is a lifelong journey.

Not a destination.

Who you are takes time to unravel. It doesn’t happen overnight.

There’s nowhere you have to be. You have only to let yourself BE and let yourself walk your own path to finding your life purpose.

You are a sum of your life experiences and those experiences make you who you are and they put you on a path towards defining your purpose in life.

Do you know what you want to do with your life? Do you know what you are here to share with others? Living your life one step at a time and allowing yourself to find those answers organically is what will put you on a path towards personal success NOT forcing yourself into a certain career or job sector. Let yourself breathe and be who you are. Explore ideas and concepts that appeal to you and interest you. The seeds of your life work are always in your interests.

Also, don’t measure yourself against anyone else’s criteria. Live your life. Enjoy your experiences and keep your head up and your eyes ahead – don’t sleep walk your way through your life. Finding yourself is a divine process and one which unravels like the skin of an onion.

Don’t put a time limit on finding yourself. It is a life-long process – a true journey into the heart of your soul. You can’t just be “there,” you have to get to your heart slowly – one step at a time.  Once you find yourself you realize there was never any other place to be.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

 

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