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Archive for the ‘Competition’ Category

… will only disappoint you.

We all have our own baseline expectations of how people should behave in given situations BUT expecting people to uphold those expectations is both unrealistic and unfair to everyone.

It’s ok to have high standards for personal decorum, but it’s not ok to put those standards on others.

Putting those standards on others sets them up to fail and sets you up to be disappointed. Let people be who they are and IF WHO THEY ARE DOESN’T WORK FOR YOU – MAKE ANOTHER DECISION, but don’t waste one moment hoping/expecting they’ll show up differently.

Expecting people to be other than who they are is a game you’ll NEVER win. It only sets you up for disappointment when they don’t come through. Recognize that you can’t fix people and you can’t change them, but you can learn to accept them for who they are and LET THEM OFF THE HOOK for everything they cannot be for you. 

People are messy and they come with their own limitations. Don’t get caught up in those limitations – they’ll only frustrate you. Remember that it isn’t your job to hold up a mirror to their lack of self-awareness. If they cannot see themselves, there isn’t anyway you’re going to be able to show them who they are.

Learn to know the cards you are holding – learn to know the person who is sitting right across from you and NEVER EXPECT THEM TO BE OTHER THAN WHO THEY ARE and you’ll never be disappointed.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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… is a step closer towards success.

But we were never taught that.

We view failure as a setback, but in reality “failure” is NOT a setback, but a necessary “step-BACK” along our path towards success. Sometimes it’s necessary to step back in life to regroup and re-calibrate so that we can move forward in a stronger, more definitive way.

It’s important to understand that success is very rarely a steady trajectory upwards. By it’s definition, it’s frought with many step-backs — it has to be. After all, if you didn’t know failure, how could you ever really come to know success?

Our lives are about taking 1-step forward, 2-steps back and it’s the steps-back that enable us to “re-trace” our steps in order to do things better next time. The steps back allow you to process the wisdom you’ve already garnered and make some new decisions with it.

Failure is never falling short of your goal — it’s part of the process it takes to get there. When you learn what doesn’t work, you begin to understand more about what will work. Rejoice in your failures, they innately set you up onto a more solid foundation moving forward. The only way to get to the next highest mountain top is to come down the side of the mountain you’re on. Don’t fight the downhill slide, use that experience to go higher up the next mountain.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… before it gets better.

No one ever said making change is easy. Growth takes hard work.

To become a beautiful butterfly, you have to live through the dark phase of the cocoon.

Giving up and staying in the cocoon isn’t an option. The struggle to get free of the cocoon is the struggle of transformation. How badly do you want to transform your life? Accepting the status quo will never get you out of that cocoon. To get to the light, often times you have to fight your way through the darkness.

Transformation is a lifelong process; it doesn’t happen overnight. Transformation is a series of steps that tend to make things appear worse before they can become better. It’s like any detox process, in order to cleanse the body and heal, the infection or toxins need to first rise to the surface before they can leave the body. So the darkness is temporarily exaggerated before the light of transformation can prevail.

To become something great, you have to do something great. Being great means using your inner strength to fight your way through your own cocoon of darkness. Remember giving up is never an option. Just when the catepillar was ready to give up his struggle, he transformed into a beautiful butterfly and flew away.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

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… renders you BLIND to yourself.

Why use others’ eye sight to see YOURSELF? Why would you want to look at WHO YOU ARE through the lens of someone else? It seems odd, yet we do it all the time.

Sometimes we care too much what people think about us. We allow our identity to be shaped by the opinions of othersbosses, lovers, clients. We turn our own validation over to the whim of those whom we may or may not even respect.

Who you are is NEVER contingent on what anyone else thinks about you. It never matters what they think, it only matters what you think.

If you are prone to identifying yourself through others’ labels, it will just be a matter of time before you fall into a self-imposed identity crisis. Why give your power over to anyone else to feel less than who you are? If people’s opinions of you don’t match yours, don’t take them on. In life, what you buy into is yours, ask yourself if you actually want those opinions. Because once you’ve tried them on and made the purchase, they become yours and then they color your experience of yourself.

Seeing yourself through the eyes of others is a losing strategy; it leaves you blind to yourself. It gives your identity over to others to define who you are. Take back your identity. Shut down other people’s opinions of you unless they support the YOU you know you are. If they are working against you, politely give them back. The YOU you are NEVER needs a lens to be seen. Take off the lens and you’ll never be blinded again.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

 

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straight-flush… but you can ALWAYS change the way you play them.

And that’s EVERYTHING.

Sometimes we get caught up with the cards we’re dealt. Maybe they haven’t put us in a very favorable position? Maybe they haven’t set us up for success? Maybe they are presenting obstacles to our progress? Maybe… maybe…? But it doesn’t matter. You can’t change the cards you’ve been dealt, but you can absolutely change the way you play them and that ALWAYS determines your NEXT experience.

Bet you didn’t know that.

A hand is just a hand; the winning strategy is in the game plan. It doesn’t matter what you’ve been dealt in life, all that matters is that you play it to the best of your ability with integrity, authenticity and tenacity. Then your work is done.

Sure you can blame the cards you’re holding for the disarray in your life, but that NEVER serves you. The cards will NOT change for you, but you can get smart as to how you play them. Here’s the secret: playing a smart hand will bring you to an even better place then a great hand could have ever yielded.

Learn to stop lamenting a bad hand, and learn to accept the challenge of playing it. Life is too short to blame the hand you’ve been dealt. Recognize that a bad hand will always make you a better player. It can be no other way.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

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power_struggle…they are trying to pull themselves up to your level.

Because you have something they want and they are trying to compete for it.

It’s actually a sign of admiration.

But many of us fall into the drama of being “stabbed in the back” or “betrayed.” But it doesn’t have to be that way. You don’t have to become part of someone else’s “jealousy story.” You don’t have to own it. It’s not yours.

Just know that people who do not feel good about themselves will try and take you down. And sadly, anyone who tries to take you down doesn’t believe in their own ability to rise up. But you can’t change that for them.

If people try to tear you down, don’t fall into the drama of it, take it as the compliment it is and detach from their venom. In time, they will learn that they will NEVER get what they wish someone else didn’t have. In the interim, you’ll rise even higher when you learn to detach from their lower vibratory games.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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