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Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

… determines how you move forward.

In life, the way you leave relationships and situations determines the lasting influence they will have over you.

Do you walk away angry or resentful? If so, you’re still attached to that person/situation; you’re not emotionally free. Harboring negative emotions keeps you bound to the very person/situation you are trying to escape.

Do you leave with understanding and compassion? If so, you are beginning to cultivate a degree of detachment from the scenario that has you bound.

It’s all about how you let go. If you let go with negative emotions, those emotions keep you stuck reliving the drama and keeping the pain alive — it keeps reminding you that there’s no resolution.

If you can start looking at the constructive reasons for letting go and the ways it benefits you, you’ll be released from the clutches of attachment and begin to free yourself from the pain of the past.

How you leave things determines how you move forward… Don’t hold onto the pain of the past, you will only carry it with you. Learn to let go with love and that love will transform every new encounter you have.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… can bring you somewhere new.

Fighting against it, will keep you stuck in it.

Resistance gets you nowhere. What you resists, persists — what you look at disappears. If you’re trying to run from something, it’ll forever have a hold over you. If you can accept it, you can move beyond it. 

Fighting against something keeps it alive in your experience, but accepting it can free up mental/emotional space to help you set your sights elsewhere to create something new. Once you accept the reality, you are free to transform it. 

Don’t spend your time fighting against what you don’t want. Accept that you are where you are in your life (for whatever reason got you there) and now make some new decisions to move into a new direction that better suits you.

Don’t lament where you are in your life. Experience brought you there and acceptance will free you — resistance keeps you trapped. Fighting with your demons keeps you embroiled in a battle with them. Make friends with those demons so that they step aside and let you move on with your life.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… generally entails having a BREAKDOWN first. 

They usually work hand-in-hand.

Our greatest breakthroughs usually come after we’ve completely surrendered control over our lives.

You have to be willing to break down all your mental constructs and expectations of the way you think things should be and be open to a new way of seeing things that might be BETTER than you ever even imagined.

Once you’ve suffered a breakdown of a certain aspect of your life, you’ve learned to let it go. You no longer have any judgements or expectations of it being the way you needed it to be. You are now free to allow it to become anything it is meant to become for you.

Life has a funny way of working things out for you. You don’t always know what is right for you. If you’re breaking down over something, it wasn’t working for you and holding onto something that isn’t working, only keeps you trapped. Letting it go and letting it subsequently break you down is what will inevitably lead you to the breakthrough you’re seeking.

Breakdowns are hard, but the breakthroughs they lead you to are priceless.  Don’t avoid the breakdown, it’s in place to show you that YOU ARE ALMOST THERE. Just when you think it couldn’t get any darker, that’s the moment when the light returns. Don’t run from the breakdown, let it transform you and let it bring on the breakthrough you’ve been waiting for all along.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… will only disappoint you.

We all have our own baseline expectations of how people should behave in given situations BUT expecting people to uphold those expectations is both unrealistic and unfair to everyone.

It’s ok to have high standards for personal decorum, but it’s not ok to put those standards on others.

Putting those standards on others sets them up to fail and sets you up to be disappointed. Let people be who they are and IF WHO THEY ARE DOESN’T WORK FOR YOU – MAKE ANOTHER DECISION, but don’t waste one moment hoping/expecting they’ll show up differently.

Expecting people to be other than who they are is a game you’ll NEVER win. It only sets you up for disappointment when they don’t come through. Recognize that you can’t fix people and you can’t change them, but you can learn to accept them for who they are and LET THEM OFF THE HOOK for everything they cannot be for you. 

People are messy and they come with their own limitations. Don’t get caught up in those limitations – they’ll only frustrate you. Remember that it isn’t your job to hold up a mirror to their lack of self-awareness. If they cannot see themselves, there isn’t anyway you’re going to be able to show them who they are.

Learn to know the cards you are holding – learn to know the person who is sitting right across from you and NEVER EXPECT THEM TO BE OTHER THAN WHO THEY ARE and you’ll never be disappointed.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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… they NEVER stay the same.

Why do we think that making a commitment means forever? Our universe is in a constant state of flux — everything changes, nothing remains static.

We, ourselves are continuously growing and changing and our commitments must reflect that evolution if they’re to remain relevant and supportive of our needs. 

Commitments should be fluid — they should never drown you. They should ebb and flow and morph with you. Anything that confines you suppresses your creativity; anything that moves with you gives you new life.

You’re never stuck in a commitment. If it’s a healthy commitment, it knows how to evolve with you.

So go ahead, make a commitment — any commitment, it doesn’t matter which commitment you make because in reality, you can never make a mistake. Commitments evolve and commitments bring you deeper into your experience. They help you to know better what is right/wrong for you. So pick a direction and commit to it. And if a commitment is no longer serving you and no longer evolving with your needs, re-think it. That’s life. No one commitment can serve you forever.

Your life is a foundation of commitments — in order to get somewhere, you have to start some place, so commit to it. For your life path to evolve, you have to first get onto one. Make that commitment, go deeper into your experience and the rest of your life will naturally unfold.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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… you’re NOT ready to leave it.

Obviously there’s something there for you that has yet to be uncovered.

If you’re trying to move forward, but can’t, it’s important to recognize that you’re being held back for a reason. There’s something in the place where you currently stand that requires your attention — there’s a learning there for you — there’s a lesson there that needs to be integrated before you can move onto the next stage.

The process of being held back is quite purposeful because your path builds onto itself and each stage of life entails prerequisite learning. Therefore, if you haven’t internalized a lesson at a given stage, you’ll be prevented from moving onto the next stage.

What are you not seeing? What are you not looking at? It’s usually something that you’ve shoved away in a closet with resolve never to open. Rest assured that your life will not let you move forward until you open it and do the work on moving past it. 

If you’re stuck in the same place, you’re not ready to leave it. You may WANT to leave it, but you lack the learning necessary to move forward. The universe will always protect you from moving onto a stage until you have the tools to deal with it. Don’t spend your time being frustrated, spend it cleaning out your closets. Skeletons don’t go away, they’ll only haunt you until you pull them out of your closet — then they are just a pile of bones.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… it’s about how you choose to REACT to it.

Your reactions are what make it REAL for you. In essence, nothing can be real until you react to its presence in your life.

Reacting is a just a way of solidifying a situation. Think about it… a situation is just a situation, how you react to that situation will determine your next experience. This is because your reaction sets into motion a set of circumstances that generate a given outcome. So if you react positively, you get a positive outcome. If you react negatively, you get a negative outcome. If you don’t react at all, the outcome is undetermined; it’s awaiting your response.

Think before you react. Your personal reaction will set off a chain reaction of events in your life. Ask yourself how you want a situation to play out and then act accordingly, not unconsciously.

A conscious action has a better chance of yielding a desired outcome. An unconscious reaction will almost guarantee an unfulfilled outcome.   

Life isn’t about what happens to you. It’s only about your reaction to it. Because your reaction is what makes it real for you. Next time something happens, how will you react?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.
Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

 

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