If You React to It

… you don’t understand it.

A reaction is an emotional response to some stimuli or trigger. If you become triggered, that trigger is yours. But when we lack consciousness, we immediately blame another for triggering us; we think it’s their fault.

We all come to this planet with certain life lessons (a.k.a. certain buttons to be pressed which help to bring up our issues). It’s your dance partner’s (lover, sibling, friend, boss, etc..) job to push those buttons so that your shadows can surface and you can identify your work and begin processing it.

Getting triggered is a gift if you are awake and conscious. It can be a living hell if you’re projecting it out onto another. If you feel the need to react with heated emotions, you have not allowed yourself to process the trigger properly. You’ve avoided doing the personal process work and conveniently chosen to project your failures onto another.

Are you easily triggered/angered these days? It’s no one else’s fault. There’s nothing to take offense to. The work lies within yourself. Whenever you feel justified in angrily blaming another, recognize that it is YOU who needs to look in the mirror.

If you’re reacting to it, you don’t understand it. Go deeply within yourself and ask yourself why you are so upset? What are you really reacting to?

Where there is consciousness, there can be healing. When you truly understand a comment and where it’s coming from, there’s no need to react to it. There is only space for calm discourse.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

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Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

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If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here

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Rejection is Protection

… it’s not a punishment.

But somehow we tend to get lost in the rejection part and forget why a specific situation is happening.

Life is very simple. Anything that is right for you, will find its way to you when it’s time. There’s no need for struggle. Trust in your divine trust. If it’s not happening, it’s not right for you, at least not right now. Step away from it.

You can always trust the universe to filter out the people and opportunities that are not aligned with your higher purpose. Heed the walls that are put in front of you. They are in place to re-route you and prevent you from running off a cliff.

Resistance is purposeful, it’s not a punishment — it’s always leading you somewhere better.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

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If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

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Accepting Where You Are in Life

… can bring you somewhere new.

Fighting against it, will keep you stuck in it.

Resistance gets you nowhere. What you resists, persists — what you look at disappears. If you’re trying to run from something, it’ll forever have a hold over you. If you can accept it, you can move beyond it. 

Fighting against something keeps it alive in your experience, but accepting it can free up mental/emotional space to help you set your sights elsewhere to create something new. Once you accept the reality, you are free to transform it. 

Don’t spend your time fighting against what you don’t want. Accept that you are where you are in your life (for whatever reason got you there) and now make some new decisions to move into a new direction that better suits you.

Don’t lament where you are in your life. Experience brought you there and acceptance will free you — resistance keeps you trapped. Fighting with your demons keeps you embroiled in a battle with them. Make friends with those demons so that they step aside and let you move on with your life.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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It Isn’t What You Know

… it’s what you’ve experienced that makes up true intelligence.

How smart are you? Intelligence isn’t based on standardized tests or gpa; it’s based on wisdom from experience. How do you really know something unless you’ve lived it? 

Words don’t teach. Only experience teaches.

Knowing something isn’t enough to teach you its value in your life. LIVING IT IS. The experience is everything.

The mind can only answer half the equation. The mind can provide you with the recipe, but if you haven’t made the meal yet how do you know how delicious it will be? Or if it will be too spicy for you? Only the experience will give you the wisdom to know.

Don’t just know something – LIVE IT. Don’t waste time gathering facts, spend it LIVING YOUR LIFE. And don’t worry about making a mistake. Have as many experiences as possible — make your life as messy as possible, it shows you’ve lived it. And through living it, you’ll truly KNOW what’s right for you, because in life, IT ISN’T WHAT YOU KNOW, it’s what you’ve EXPERIENCED that makes up true intelligence. 

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

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Wherever You Go, You Take Yourself With You

… where else would you go?

We all have our personal issues and they always seem to show up through the dance of relationship.

We are very quick to identify other people’s issues, but not as quick to identify our own.

When a breakdown in relationship occurs, there’s a natural tendency to blame and point fingers. But that’s the easy way out. In reality, it takes 2 to tango; issues are seldom one-sided. Learn to own what’s yours and give the rest back. 

You can jump out of a relationship when problems occur, but they’ll just follow you onto the next relationship because wherever you go, you take yourself with you. You pack up all your issues, sling them over your shoulder and bring them forward into the next relationship.

Our bags are pretty full and they’re weighing us down. Wouldn’t it be easier to unpack them, go through them and separate the dirty laundry from the clean? It’s more discreet and constructive to store our baggage in our new partner’s guest closet than it is to explode our dirty laundry all over their front foyer.

Do your work. Own what’s yours and give the rest back. No one is responsible for healing you. You can run from your problems, but you can’t run from yourself. It’ll just be a matter of time before you get caught.

Wherever you go, you take yourself with you. Life can be a long and exhaustive journey. Better to travel light and learn to check your emotions. 

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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Shortcuts in Life

… take LONGER in the end.

There are no shortcuts to your own life experience.

Life builds onto itself everyday with every new experience and EVERY NEW EXPERIENCE IS NEEDED TO MOVE ONTO THE NEXT PHASE OF YOUR LIFE. 

Your life is a step-by-step amalgamation of your experiences, so if you don’t explore the wisdom of the phase you’re currently in, YOU’LL NEVER MOVE ON IN YOUR LIFE.

Don’t try to shortchange yourself by taking a shortcut, it’ll just leave you empty-handed and stuck in the same place. If you’re not moving forward in your life, ask yourself if you’ve sufficiently cleaned out your emotional attic? Every experience we have comes with its own attic we’d rather not open.

Think about it, you can’t renovate your upstairs if you still haven’t cleaned out your attic. If you don’t learn from and let go of old experiences, how can you move forward and build a new living situation for yourself? You can’t.

Shortcuts may seem like a great idea in the short run, but in the long run they leave you at a dead-end. Don’t look for the easy way out. The easy way out is just that — EASY, it’s NEVER better. 

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER,click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

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Putting Your Destiny in Others’ Hands

… NEVER works.

Waiting around for others to make a decision that affects you, takes away your power. 

Never give anyone power over your life to decide your future. If you’re waiting on someone else to make a decision over your Plan A, make sure you have an EVEN BETTER Plan B and C in place.

You’re in control of your destiny, no one else is. Waiting on others to decide your future is a slippery slope. Putting anyone in the power position over your life puts you in the back seat. Get back into the driver seat of your own life and steer it home.

It’s ok to temporarily wait on someone else’s decision, it’s NOT OK to put your life ON HOLD while someone else decides your fate. Take back control over your life, have viable alternate options laid out for you and ready to rock once the decision is made and don’t look back.

Don’t spend time lamenting someone else’s decision over you, if the decision wasn’t in your favor, that option wasn’t in your best interest or aligned with your highest good — let it go. Move on to your personal Plan B and make it A-worthy.

Putting your destiny in other’s hands NEVER works. Why give someone else power/authority over you to decide your fate? Your life is yours. Never be without a plan you can love and never accept a plan you can’t live with. It’s your life. Don’t let anyone else live it.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER,click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

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Jumping Into the Hole With Others

… keeps you both in darkness.

Why not learn to throw down a ladder instead?

There is a difference between trying to help someone and losing yourself in the process.

You can’t change people. You can’t fix people. You can’t drag people to a better version of themselves. They have to want to meet you there or they will never get there.

You can’t do the work for people. Giving them all the answers doesn’t help them to learn how to crawl out of the hole themselves. What happens the next time they fall in again?

Show them there is a better way to live. Throw them down a ladder and encourage them to climb out themselves. Lead by example. Stay out in the sunshine and entice them out of their darkness. But stay away from the edge, you might just fall in. If you try to do their work for them, you’ll both end up in the hole and then you won’t be of any use to them.

If you really want to help people, teach them how to work their way back up to the light. Give them the tools to help them climb out on their own and welcome them out into the sunshine. It’s a win-win for both of you.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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Holding On To What Doesn’t Work For You

… doesn’t MAKE it work.

It just exhausts you.

There is only so much you can do to make a situation or a relationship work. At some point you have to be willing to walk away from it if it is not meeting your needs. In other words, you have to learn WHEN to walk away from what is NOT working, so you can free up the space to find what will.

You can’t repeatedly look at what’s not working and resent it for not being different.

It’s not others’ fault for not meeting your needs, it’s your fault for allowing them to continually disappoint you.

Don’t look to change others. Look to change yourself. If you are not getting your needs met, look somewhere else. Don’t make someone responsible for your happiness, take charge of it yourself.

Holding on to what doesn’t work, doesn’t make it work. It just breaks you down and takes your power away from you. Love yourself enough to ask for better and you just might get it.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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Never Expect People To Be Other Than Who They Are

… and you’ll NEVER be disappointed.

It’s a beautiful gift to be able to see the potential in people – to be able to see what they’re capable of and to believe in them (even when they don’t believe in themselves).

But just because you see the potential in someone doesn’t mean they themselves are ready to rise to that potential. Not everyone is ready to embody the idealized version of them you might be holding. Expectations destroy relationships. Never expect someone to be other than who they are. It’s unfair to them and it’s unfair to you.

When people show you who they are, BELIEVE THEM. And don’t expect them to show up otherwise. It doesn’t serve you to EXPECT that people act in a certain way. It only sets you up for disappointment when they don’t.

Stop believing in people’s potential and start believing in how they are showing up in this moment. Because that is all you have. Nothing else is real.

The easiest way to destroy a relationship is to expect someone to act in a way that is not authentic to them. Let your expectations go. Stop trying to change people. People have to want to change on their own.

Let people be who they are and if who they are doesn’t work for you, make another decision. But don’t spend one more second trying to make them into who you think they should be. When people tell you who they are, believe them and never expect them to be other than who they are and you will NEVER be disappointed.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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