Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘psychology’

… keeps you both in darkness.

Why not learn to throw down a ladder instead?

There is a difference between trying to help someone and losing yourself in the process.

You can’t change people. You can’t fix people. You can’t drag people to a better version of themselves. They have to want to meet you there or they will never get there.

You can’t do the work for people. Giving them all the answers doesn’t help them to learn how to crawl out of the hole themselves. What happens the next time they fall in again?

Show them there is a better way to live. Throw them down a ladder and encourage them to climb out themselves. Lead by example. Stay out in the sunshine and entice them out of their darkness. But stay away from the edge, you might just fall in. If you try to do their work for them, you’ll both end up in the hole and then you won’t be of any use to them.

If you really want to help people, teach them how to work their way back up to the light. Give them the tools to help them climb out on their own and welcome them out into the sunshine. It’s a win-win for both of you.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

Read Full Post »

… doesn’t MAKE it work.

It just exhausts you.

There is only so much you can do to make a situation or a relationship work. At some point you have to be willing to walk away from it if it is not meeting your needs. In other words, you have to learn WHEN to walk away from what is NOT working, so you can free up the space to find what will.

You can’t repeatedly look at what’s not working and resent it for not being different.

It’s not others’ fault for not meeting your needs, it’s your fault for allowing them to continually disappoint you.

Don’t look to change others. Look to change yourself. If you are not getting your needs met, look somewhere else. Don’t make someone responsible for your happiness, take charge of it yourself.

Holding on to what doesn’t work, doesn’t make it work. It just breaks you down and takes your power away from you. Love yourself enough to ask for better and you just might get it.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

Read Full Post »

never-expect-people… and you’ll NEVER be disappointed.

It’s a beautiful gift to be able to see the potential in people – to be able to see what they’re capable of and to believe in them (even when they don’t believe in themselves).

But just because you see the potential in someone doesn’t mean they themselves are ready to rise to that potential. Not everyone is ready to embody the idealized version of them you might be holding. Expectations destroy relationships. Never expect someone to be other than who they are. It’s unfair to them and it’s unfair to you.

When people show you who they are, BELIEVE THEM. And don’t expect them to show up otherwise. It doesn’t serve you to EXPECT that people act in a certain way. It only sets you up for disappointment when they don’t.

Stop believing in people’s potential and start believing in how they are showing up in this moment. Because that is all you have. Nothing else is real.

The easiest way to destroy a relationship is to expect someone to act in a way that is not authentic to them. Let your expectations go. Stop trying to change people. People have to want to change on their own.

Let people be who they are and if who they are doesn’t work for you, make another decision. But don’t spend one more second trying to make them into who you think they should be. When people tell you who they are, believe them and never expect them to be other than who they are and you will NEVER be disappointed.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

Read Full Post »

power_struggle…they are trying to pull themselves up to your level.

Because you have something they want and they are trying to compete for it.

It’s actually a sign of admiration.

But many of us fall into the drama of being “stabbed in the back” or “betrayed.” But it doesn’t have to be that way. You don’t have to become part of someone else’s “jealousy story.” You don’t have to own it. It’s not yours.

Just know that people who do not feel good about themselves will try and take you down. And sadly, anyone who tries to take you down doesn’t believe in their own ability to rise up. But you can’t change that for them.

If people try to tear you down, don’t fall into the drama of it, take it as the compliment it is and detach from their venom. In time, they will learn that they will NEVER get what they wish someone else didn’t have. In the interim, you’ll rise even higher when you learn to detach from their lower vibratory games.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

Read Full Post »

overworked-man-mauro-fermariello…it’s meant to be.

That’s how you know it’s well lived.

You’re only here to have experiences and there are NO BAD EXPERIENCES, just DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES.

You can’t make a mistake, you can’t make a mess of your life. It isn’t possible. There are no messes and nobody gets a perfectly ordered life. That would be boring.

The more you explore, the more you know, the more you experience, the more you grow. It’s all about the experience, NOT the outcome.

The outcome NEVER MATTERS, what matters is that you took a chance and rolled the dice to see what would happen. It’s called “having an experience” and life is filled with them.

Never judge your experiences as good or bad. Just keep having them. Experiences season you. They expand you. They help you get to know who you are and what you like, and what you don’t like. Experiences are critical to your personal growth.

Without experiences, you never live, and you are only on this planet to live. Never worry about “making a mistake and making a mess out of your life.” Live it. Do it all. Make it as messy as you possibly can, it shows you’ve lived it. Leave your mark on the world and by doing so, you’ll learn about yourself, you’ll grow/evolve and you’ll NEVER have any regrets. That’s a life well lived.

Life is messy, but you always have a choice, you can spend your time cleaning it up or you can spend your time living every experience it brings you. What will you decide?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

 

Read Full Post »

How people treat you… is about THEM and where they are in their life.

It’s NOT about you.

How you REACT is about YOU.

The way people treat you is more a reflection of who they are and where they are in their life at that moment, then it’s ever about you. But we tend to make it about us. 

You can never control how someone treats you, but you can always control how you react to them and that’s your only job.

As long as you are accepting responsibility for your life and your actions and you are consciously showing up as the best version of yourself everyday, then you’re being YOUR BEST YOU and no one can ask more of you.

How people treat you says more about where they are in their own level of consciousness and that is a playing field that you do not have to play in. Stay in your own field. Own your own behaviors, strive to be the best YOU everyday and if it isn’t good enough for someone else, realize that it’s most likely because they aren’t feeling good enough about themselves.

Stay in your own playing field. How people treat you is NEVER about you, it’s always about them. Let them learn to manage their own playing field and more importantly, keep them out of yours.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

Read Full Post »

relating to others… NOT just to yourself.

Sounds obvious, but it’s not.

Relationships are a 2-way street. They require that 2 people relate to each other, deeply connect to each other, communicate with each other and share their lives with each other. 

If you are not doing this, you are NOT in a relationship. After all, you can’t just BE in a relationship, you have to RELATE to someone in a relationship. That’s how they work.

Relating isn’t just physical, it is emotional and mental as well. Relating is the magic ingredient that turns strangers into friends, roommates into lovers and lovers into committed partners. Relating is what keeps couples growing and evolving together, learning new things about each other and keeping their relationship fresh and exciting.

Where there is NO relating, there is NO relationship. If you are not relating to someone you are involved with, you are just co-existing together and that makes for a very lonely existence. Talking to your partner shouldn’t feel like talking to a wall. Being with your partner shouldn’t make you feel more lonely. If your presence in someone’s life isn’t adding value, why are you there? Without the deeper process of relating and developing a real connection, 2 people are just 2 people in a room, ghosts passing in the night, and after awhile those 2 people will no longer have a reason to be together. Don’t let your relationship get to that point. No one wants to sit across from their lover in silence because they’ve lost their connection to each other or worse – never had one.

Take the time to relate to another person. Get to know them deeply and take an active interest in them – engage them – get to know what’s important to them – share in their experiences and in turn, EQUALLY SHARE YOUR LIFE with them. Let them into your world and find ways to weave your lives together and from there grow your connection everyday. For if you don’t, you will forever remain just 2 people in a room.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.
Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »