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Archive for the ‘crossing boundaries’ Category

… but not mandatory, for growth.

The only constant we have in life is change. We are only here to grow through experiences and to learn who we really are which is aspects of the creator (God).

The nature of reality is change. As long as we are alive on this planet, our lives need to continually expand and evolve and transformation is a critical part of that growth.

Everyone wants to be transformed, but not everyone wants to do the work to transform an aspect of their life. Most prefer to stay stuck and stagnant in a situation that has outlived it’s purpose.

There are 2 ways in which as humans, we can transform. We can transform in a “good” way or a “bad” way. Good and bad are just human labels to describe a process of transformation; they are not realities.

The fact is that we are always in control of how we grow. In the “good” way, we can get out ahead of the curve and recognize that we are feeling stuck/stagnant in our lives and push ourselves outside our comfort zone to make some sort of change.

But many of us tend to evolve and transform in a “bad” way which is awaiting the universe to come from behind us and push us outside our comfort zone via a crisis which undoubtedly pushes us towards transformation. 

Either way, you will transform — either on your timeline or the universe’s. Crisis are critical, but not mandatory. How do you choose to evolve?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Intuitive Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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… it’s not a punishment.

But somehow we tend to get lost in the rejection part and forget why a specific situation is happening.

Life is very simple. Anything that is right for you, will find its way to you when it’s time. There’s no need for struggle. Trust in your divine trust. If it’s not happening, it’s not right for you, at least not right now. Step away from it.

You can always trust the universe to filter out the people and opportunities that are not aligned with your higher purpose. Heed the walls that are put in front of you. They are in place to re-route you and prevent you from running off a cliff.

Resistance is purposeful, it’s not a punishment — it’s always leading you somewhere better.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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… you won’t have space for it.

Transitions can be disorienting. No one really likes change, especially when it is thrust onto you. But change represents growth and that is the life force that propels us forward in our lives.

The thing about change is that if you don’t clear a space for the newness that you are seeking, you will have no space for it when it arrives.

You have to let go of what you are holding onto in order to accept something new. But we don’t do that, we generally hold onto what isn’t working until it finally drags us to the floor and we unwittingly surrender our grasp.

You have to let go of what isn’t working to create the space for what will. You can’t have both. In times of transition, you have to trust that what doesn’t feel right, is no longer right for you. 

Learn to let your intuition guide you. If it feels good, move in that direction. If it doesn’t feel good, move away from that direction and let it go. Once you let go of what no longer feels right, the universe can replace it with something that IS right. 

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

 

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Dancing With Your Demons

… is easier than trying to lasso them to the ground.

It just is.

Think about it… when your demons come up (and they always do), it’s much harder to suppress them then it is to face them and renegotiate with them.

It takes so much emotional and physical strength to wrestle your demons back down when you see them come up. Then you have to be careful where you tread because you will naturally run into situations and people who trigger those demons. It’s exhausting to try and hypercontrol your life so to avoid awakening your demons. Better to face them when they come up and renegotiate a better plan for them.

When you address your demons straight on, you can learn from them, grow from them and transform them once and for all. No one says it will be easy, but it is the healthiest way to deal with those demons.

Don’t let your demons destroy you; they are very purposeful. They allow you to acknowledge the darkness, for it is only through your darkness that you can transform yourself into the light.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… who can’t see an issue in their behavior.

Not everyone is conscious. Not everyone has the ability to see how their actions affect others. If you have to tell someone over and over again that they’re hurting you, they are unable to process your pain, most likely because they haven’t processed their own. 

In order for them to honor your feelings, they first have to look at themselves in the mirror and accept responsibility for how they’ve made you feel. But for many, that reflection can be very painful and bring up other past failures. No one wants to feel responsible for hurting someone else and no one wants to feel like a failure; it’s much easier to just shut down and become defensive — “let me prove to you that I don’t need to change, you do.”

If someone is truly evolved, they know they are not responsible for how you feel, BUT they will always have a degree of empathy for your feelings and will always be able to honor them in whatever way they can. 

If they can’t hear your pain, you’ll never be able to get them to honor it. If you’re trying to communicate your feelings and they’re being defensive, walk away, sometimes silence can be the greatest teacher. If your words aren’t enough to help them hear you, then stop talking and give them the time and space to hear what you have already said.

You can’t change people who can’t see an issue in their behavior. You can’t get anyone to stop hurting you until they come face to face with their own pain. If they cannot change themselves, how are you ever going to change them? Life is too short to try and teach unconscious people how to honor your feelings. Walk away and in time the universe will deliver you someone who can honor your heart.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… will only disappoint you.

We all have our own baseline expectations of how people should behave in given situations BUT expecting people to uphold those expectations is both unrealistic and unfair to everyone.

It’s ok to have high standards for personal decorum, but it’s not ok to put those standards on others.

Putting those standards on others sets them up to fail and sets you up to be disappointed. Let people be who they are and IF WHO THEY ARE DOESN’T WORK FOR YOU – MAKE ANOTHER DECISION, but don’t waste one moment hoping/expecting they’ll show up differently.

Expecting people to be other than who they are is a game you’ll NEVER win. It only sets you up for disappointment when they don’t come through. Recognize that you can’t fix people and you can’t change them, but you can learn to accept them for who they are and LET THEM OFF THE HOOK for everything they cannot be for you. 

People are messy and they come with their own limitations. Don’t get caught up in those limitations – they’ll only frustrate you. Remember that it isn’t your job to hold up a mirror to their lack of self-awareness. If they cannot see themselves, there isn’t anyway you’re going to be able to show them who they are.

Learn to know the cards you are holding – learn to know the person who is sitting right across from you and NEVER EXPECT THEM TO BE OTHER THAN WHO THEY ARE and you’ll never be disappointed.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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… doesn’t MAKE it work.

It just exhausts you.

There is only so much you can do to make a situation or a relationship work. At some point you have to be willing to walk away from it if it is not meeting your needs. In other words, you have to learn WHEN to walk away from what is NOT working, so you can free up the space to find what will.

You can’t repeatedly look at what’s not working and resent it for not being different.

It’s not others’ fault for not meeting your needs, it’s your fault for allowing them to continually disappoint you.

Don’t look to change others. Look to change yourself. If you are not getting your needs met, look somewhere else. Don’t make someone responsible for your happiness, take charge of it yourself.

Holding on to what doesn’t work, doesn’t make it work. It just breaks you down and takes your power away from you. Love yourself enough to ask for better and you just might get it.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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