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Archive for the ‘crossing boundaries’ Category

Dancing With Your Demons

… is easier than trying to lasso them to the ground.

It just is.

Think about it… when your demons come up (and they always do), it’s much harder to suppress them then it is to face them and renegotiate with them.

It takes so much emotional and physical strength to wrestle your demons back down when you see them come up. Then you have to be careful where you tread because you will naturally run into situations and people who trigger those demons. It’s exhausting to try and hypercontrol your life so to avoid awakening your demons. Better to face them when they come up and renegotiate a better plan for them.

When you address your demons straight on, you can learn from them, grow from them and transform them once and for all. No one says it will be easy, but it is the healthiest way to deal with those demons.

Don’t let your demons destroy you; they are very purposeful. They allow you to acknowledge the darkness, for it is only through your darkness that you can transform yourself into the light.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… who can’t see an issue in their behavior.

Not everyone is conscious. Not everyone has the ability to see how their actions affect others. If you have to tell someone over and over again that they’re hurting you, they are unable to process your pain, most likely because they haven’t processed their own. 

In order for them to honor your feelings, they first have to look at themselves in the mirror and accept responsibility for how they’ve made you feel. But for many, that reflection can be very painful and bring up other past failures. No one wants to feel responsible for hurting someone else and no one wants to feel like a failure; it’s much easier to just shut down and become defensive — “let me prove to you that I don’t need to change, you do.”

If someone is truly evolved, they know they are not responsible for how you feel, BUT they will always have a degree of empathy for your feelings and will always be able to honor them in whatever way they can. 

If they can’t hear your pain, you’ll never be able to get them to honor it. If you’re trying to communicate your feelings and they’re being defensive, walk away, sometimes silence can be the greatest teacher. If your words aren’t enough to help them hear you, then stop talking and give them the time and space to hear what you have already said.

You can’t change people who can’t see an issue in their behavior. You can’t get anyone to stop hurting you until they come face to face with their own pain. If they cannot change themselves, how are you ever going to change them? Life is too short to try and teach unconscious people how to honor your feelings. Walk away and in time the universe will deliver you someone who can honor your heart.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… will only disappoint you.

We all have our own baseline expectations of how people should behave in given situations BUT expecting people to uphold those expectations is both unrealistic and unfair to everyone.

It’s ok to have high standards for personal decorum, but it’s not ok to put those standards on others.

Putting those standards on others sets them up to fail and sets you up to be disappointed. Let people be who they are and IF WHO THEY ARE DOESN’T WORK FOR YOU – MAKE ANOTHER DECISION, but don’t waste one moment hoping/expecting they’ll show up differently.

Expecting people to be other than who they are is a game you’ll NEVER win. It only sets you up for disappointment when they don’t come through. Recognize that you can’t fix people and you can’t change them, but you can learn to accept them for who they are and LET THEM OFF THE HOOK for everything they cannot be for you. 

People are messy and they come with their own limitations. Don’t get caught up in those limitations – they’ll only frustrate you. Remember that it isn’t your job to hold up a mirror to their lack of self-awareness. If they cannot see themselves, there isn’t anyway you’re going to be able to show them who they are.

Learn to know the cards you are holding – learn to know the person who is sitting right across from you and NEVER EXPECT THEM TO BE OTHER THAN WHO THEY ARE and you’ll never be disappointed.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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… doesn’t MAKE it work.

It just exhausts you.

There is only so much you can do to make a situation or a relationship work. At some point you have to be willing to walk away from it if it is not meeting your needs. In other words, you have to learn WHEN to walk away from what is NOT working, so you can free up the space to find what will.

You can’t repeatedly look at what’s not working and resent it for not being different.

It’s not others’ fault for not meeting your needs, it’s your fault for allowing them to continually disappoint you.

Don’t look to change others. Look to change yourself. If you are not getting your needs met, look somewhere else. Don’t make someone responsible for your happiness, take charge of it yourself.

Holding on to what doesn’t work, doesn’t make it work. It just breaks you down and takes your power away from you. Love yourself enough to ask for better and you just might get it.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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jake_edit… it’s NEVER in control of you.

We just forget that.

NO ONE and NOTHING has control over your life unless you give it to them. And why would you do that?

Your power is yours and it rests in your ability to focus your mind. Thoughts are powerful and your thoughts create your experiences. If you are unhappy with your current experience, CHANGE YOUR THOUGHT, and watch your experience change along with it.

Where you put your thoughts, you get more of. So ask yourself what you are focusing on? If it isn’t making you happy, TAKE YOUR FOCUS OFF OF IT and put it into a thought that feels slightly better. In record time, you’ll move the energy away from negative experiences and towards a new world of happier, more positive experiences.

Wherever you put your energy, you get more of. Ask yourself if you actually want it. If not, work to alter your thoughts so that you can create the life of your dreams. You can always have whatever it is you want in life, you just have to be able to align your thoughts with that highest vision while shutting out any other possibility.

You’re always in control of your life, it’s never in control of you. You get what you think about, whether you want it or not. Start consciously focusing your thoughts on the life of your dreams and it can only become a reality. What are you waiting for?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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power_struggle…they are trying to pull themselves up to your level.

Because you have something they want and they are trying to compete for it.

It’s actually a sign of admiration.

But many of us fall into the drama of being “stabbed in the back” or “betrayed.” But it doesn’t have to be that way. You don’t have to become part of someone else’s “jealousy story.” You don’t have to own it. It’s not yours.

Just know that people who do not feel good about themselves will try and take you down. And sadly, anyone who tries to take you down doesn’t believe in their own ability to rise up. But you can’t change that for them.

If people try to tear you down, don’t fall into the drama of it, take it as the compliment it is and detach from their venom. In time, they will learn that they will NEVER get what they wish someone else didn’t have. In the interim, you’ll rise even higher when you learn to detach from their lower vibratory games.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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How people treat you… is about THEM and where they are in their life.

It’s NOT about you.

How you REACT is about YOU.

The way people treat you is more a reflection of who they are and where they are in their life at that moment, then it’s ever about you. But we tend to make it about us. 

You can never control how someone treats you, but you can always control how you react to them and that’s your only job.

As long as you are accepting responsibility for your life and your actions and you are consciously showing up as the best version of yourself everyday, then you’re being YOUR BEST YOU and no one can ask more of you.

How people treat you says more about where they are in their own level of consciousness and that is a playing field that you do not have to play in. Stay in your own field. Own your own behaviors, strive to be the best YOU everyday and if it isn’t good enough for someone else, realize that it’s most likely because they aren’t feeling good enough about themselves.

Stay in your own playing field. How people treat you is NEVER about you, it’s always about them. Let them learn to manage their own playing field and more importantly, keep them out of yours.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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