It’s Not About Falling

… it’s how quickly you can catch yourself.

We all fall. The cycle of life has many ups and downs. After all, what goes up must come down. Falling down isn’t the issue — learning to land more gracefully is.

How do you weather your falls? Do you crash and burn? Or do you catch yourself so you do not go down in flames? We innately understand how to catch ourselves when we trip over a curb, but we somehow get tripped up over our falls in life.

Falling isn’t the issue, it’s what we do once we fall that determines where we will end up. Are you adept at catching yourself and making it look like a seamless step or do you allow that stumble to bring you to your knees in tears for everyone to see.

Falling doesn’t have to mean falling apart. It can also mean falling into something new. Don’t buy into the drama of the fall, pretend that it was an intentional measure to showcase your strength and fortitude. What doesn’t kill you will always make you stronger as long as you manage to get up off the floor and keep moving.

Don’t get tripped up over the fall. Learn how to make a dance out of it. Be easy with yourself. Be light. And the next time you fall, it will not take you out; it will only make you laugh.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

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Being Superficial

… keeps you from being REAL.

Superficiality keeps you on the surface of your life. It prevents you from going deeper emotionally. It keeps you from establishing deeper connections in your relationships with others and subsequently with yourself.

Being superficial is a way of guarding yourself against intimacy, vulnerability and emotional pain. After all, if you never go deeply, how deeply can you get hurt?

Superficial relationships are easy — they require nothing more than pleasantries and social graces. But superficial relationships are never fulfilling; they don’t feed and nurture the soul. They leave you feeling vacant and empty. They are never deep enough to penetrate the heart, so they never evolve you. They are just predicated on ego interests (conditional love, physical attraction, sex, money, status, education, career, labels, etc…).

Real relationships transform you — they change you, they force you to grow, they breathe life into you and make you real. They require emotional depth and vulnerability. They force you to go deeper into yourself and unlock your demons. Ultimately they break your heart open so you can hold more love. They make you better. But to get there you have to first penetrate the realm of the heart (unconditional love, selflessness, acceptance, non-judgment, openness, vulnerability, etc…).

Superficial relationships are easy, but anything just handed to you is NEVER worth having. Real relationships are more challenging, they push you outside your comfort zone, they force you to face those demons and go deeper into yourself and your relations with others.

Superficiality isn’t just about being fake or shallow, it’s about guarding yourself from pain and hurt. Are you ready to do the work to be in a real relationship or are you contented to accept what’s on the surface? When you are ready to go deeper, you will unearth the real treasures that await you.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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You Can’t Change The Cards You’re Dealt

… but you can ALWAYS change the way you play them.

And that’s EVERYTHING.

Sometimes we get caught up with the cards we’re dealt. Maybe they haven’t put us in a very favorable position? Maybe they haven’t set us up for success? Maybe they are presenting obstacles to our progress? Maybe… maybe…? But it doesn’t matter. You can’t change the cards you’ve been dealt, but you can absolutely change the way you play them and that ALWAYS determines your NEXT experience.

Bet you didn’t know that.

A hand is just a hand; the winning strategy is in the game plan. It doesn’t matter what you’ve been dealt in life, all that matters is that you play it to the best of your ability with integrity, authenticity and tenacity. Then your work is done.

Sure you can blame the cards you’re holding for the disarray in your life, but that NEVER serves you. The cards will NOT change for you, but you can get smart as to how you play them. Here’s the secret: playing a smart hand will bring you to an even better place then a great hand could have ever yielded.

Learn to stop lamenting a bad hand, and learn to accept the challenge of playing it. Life is too short to blame the hand you’ve been dealt. Recognize that a bad hand will always make you a better player. It can be no other way.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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Every Time You Get Knocked Down

… get yourself right back up again.

It doesn’t matter WHO knocked you down, WHY they knocked you down or HOW they knocked you down, if you’re down, it’s your responsibility to get yourself back up. No one else can do it for you.

You may not be in control of getting knocked down, but you are certainly in control of staying there. Staying on the ground is a choice. And it’s a choice that will ALWAYS keep you down.

Don’t focus on the drama of being knocked down. It’s just a story you tell yourself. Learn to re-frame that story to find the empowerment behind it. Pick yourself up, pick up the pieces, and put them back together the best way you know how in that moment and keep moving forward.

Sitting on the ground in the rain, just gets you wet. Learn to pick yourself up and run for shelter. You just have to decide that you want better for yourself. Get up and give yourself half a chance to find it.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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Falling Into a Habit

… is EASIER than changing it.

But that doesn’t make it right for you.

Just because a behavior is comfortable, doesn’t mean it’s the right course of action for you.

Habits limit your potential. Some habits are bad, some are innocuous but all habits keep you WHERE YOU ARE, they never move you forward into unchartered territory. They only keep you caged in a box of your own design. But life and growth only happen outside that box.

Know that it is much easier to blindly fall into that habitual pattern then it is to challenge yourself and step outside your comfort zone.

Break the box that confines you. Take risks, show up differently. Push yourself outside your normal operating space and open up to a new way of life that has the ability to transform you.

Falling into habits only numbs you into accepting a mediocre existence. Greatness only comes by breaking those habits and redefining new strategies.

Don’t be lulled into a false sense of security by your habits. Breaking those habits may be difficult because they are so ingrained, but once they’re broken, your new life will be ready to begin. What are you waiting for?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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The Road Of Life

… is contingent on the quality of your driving.

How good a driver are you?

Are you in the driver’s seat of your life or is your life driving you?

You are always in control of your life although so many of us tend to fall asleep at the wheel. We go on auto-pilot and miss the key exits that we should have taken along the way – the exits that would have broadened our horizons and took us on amazing journeys into ourselves.

Sometimes we shut down to living our life and we adopt coping mechanisms that numb our performance. We just set the cruise control, sit back and passively let life pass us by. We hide behind “too busy at work to deal,” “too busy with family,” “too busy trying to make money to survive,” etc… These tactics coupled with drug use, alcohol, binge tv watching, over-eating, etc… are convenient distraction strategies which prohibit you from taking control over your life.

It’s your life. You are behind the wheel. How are you driving it? Are you living up to your potential or are you letting life pass you by? Are you missing the exits of your life that could enrich you? Or are you driving in the fast lane and in complete control of your destiny? The road of life is contingent on the quality of your driving. The more conscious, aware and mindful you are of the road, the less likely you are to lose control over your life. Wake up and get into the drivers seat of your life. Take control and steer your life in the direction you want it to go. For if you don’t, you will never be driving your life, you will forever be at the mercy of the road.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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Feeling Pain Isn’t a Problem

… running from it is.

Believe it or not, pain isn’t a bad thing. It’s actually an indication that you are learning and growing. All growth requires some level of discomfort; it is called “growing pains.” This pain is inevitable and it signifies the emotional hard work and challenges that we all face day-to-day and for which we valiantly (hopefully) overcome.

But for some reason we try and avoid feeling this pain… we try and avoid it at all costs. But what we really do not understand is that avoiding the pain doesn’t make your life any better, it only intensifies the experience of the pain later on. Why? Because you can only stave off the lesson causing the pain for so long before it comes back with a vengeance. It’s just a matter of time before that lesson will come calling again and when it does, trust me, it means business.

Do yourself a favor. Don’t run from your life by hiding from your pain. Your escapism strategies (drugs, alcohol, food, tv, internet, sleeping, shopping, sex, etc..) only guarantee that you will get hit HARDER later on. Work through the pain when it presents itself the first time – get the lesson and get out so you can move forward with the rest of your life.

The pain isn’t there to torture you unduly so, it is there to enrich you and make you better. Pain is your friend. Go towards it and see what it has for you. When you allow yourself to fully go into the experience of the pain, you very quickly transform it and life gets better very easily. When you avoid that pain, you prolong and perpetuate the feelings of the pain for a very long time. Don’t wallow in your pain, do something about it. Stare it in the face and stare it down. Your life is too short to get shut out by your own pain. Feeling pain is never the problem, running from it always is.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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The Blame Game

… has NO winners.

It takes EVERYONE down.

We all want to point fingers when a situation in our lives does not play out the way we want it to. We somehow tend to blame others for our dissatisfaction in our relationships, careers, money, weight and/or in our addiction issues. We think “well, I am this way because someone did this to me” and we point fingers at others instead of accepting responsibility for where we are now. The truth is that it doesn’t matter what happened to you in the past – it’s over – and now YOU OWN IT, how are you going to make your life better? Recognize that looking back and blaming someone will certainly not make it any better because you are the ONLY one who can make a change in your life.

The fact of the matter is … you are where you are because of the choices you have made or the choices you have ALLOWED to be made. Believe it or not, no one put you anywhere that you haven’t allowed. For example, being in an abusive relationship with someone makes you the victim of abuse; BUT recognizing that you have allowed yourself to be in an abusive relationship empowers you to accept responsibility for your choices and inspires you to make better choices for yourself moving forward. In other words, you may have suffered abuse, but no one made you stay there. Blaming the abuser will not change your life. Empowering yourself to make the decision to leave will.

Pointing the finger assures you will always be the victim of your life. But accepting responsibility for how you have gotten to where you have gotten to always empowers you to make change.

No one wins the blame game. No matter how much you want to point the finger, it will NEVER change the past. If you are blaming others for your current situation, you have missed the opportunity to make a better situation for yourself.

Don’t blame others for where you are in life. Pointing fingers will never make your life better. Accept responsibility for your where you are and make changes that have the potential to create the life you really want. Haven’t you waited long enough?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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Your Greatest Pain Is Your Greatest Fuel

… for change.

Let it drive your transformation.

In other words – if it hurts you, it will change you. And that’s a good thing.

We all run from pain, no one likes to feel it. Everyone labels it as “bad.” But the reality is that it’s only through your pain that you are able to truly transform yourself because YOU HAVE TO. You can no longer go on experiencing the pain nor do you want to go back to the source that caused it. Therefore the only way through your pain is literally through it and out the other end. And that is where change lies.

When you let yourself truly feel the pain, you innately know which direction to go in, in order to heal. Just like a child touching a hot stove, it is only through the pain of a burned finger that he learns never to do that again, never to engage in similar behavior again.

If you never allow yourself to feel the pain, how can you transform the behavior? You can’t. If you ignore the pain and push it down, where’s the learning? There isn’t any. Where there is no pain, there can be no transformation and where there is no transformation, there can never be growth and with no growth, there can be no happiness. It’s a simple as that.

You always have a choice. But the highest choice is to allow yourself to feel the pain, hit rock bottom with it and let it transform you from a stubborn caterpillar into that beautiful butterfly. And as we all know, the view from above is always much more liberating.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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The Root of All Suffering

… is attachment.

Attachment to any one thing working out the way you want it to/need it to – be it a job, relationship, situation, etc… If you need it to happen in a certain way by a certain time and with certain parameters, you are attached to it. And if you are attached to an outcome, you will suffer when that outcome is not achieved. 

Attachment is dangerous because it implies that you know what is right for you in life. Trust me, you don’t always know what’s right for you. Generally speaking there are 3 outcomes: what you want, what you need and what is right for you – they are not always the same thing. In fact, we tend to mistakenly think that what we want or need is what is right for us. Therein is the root of suffering.

It is OK to have hopes, dreams and goals, but it is NOT OK to hold onto a specific outcome. If you don’t get what you want, learn to let it go and trust that there is something much better around the corner. When you can learn to not attach to a given outcome, you generally find that what you receive is much better than what you thought you were going to get. 

Learn to minimize the amount of suffering in your life. Let go of needing things to be the way you want them to be and let things be the way they are. Adopt this strategy and you might find that things work out even better than you could have imagined.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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