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Posts Tagged ‘transformation’

… where else would you go?

We all have our personal issues and they always seem to show up through the dance of relationship.

We are very quick to identify other people’s issues, but not as quick to identify our own.

When a breakdown in relationship occurs, there’s a natural tendency to blame and point fingers. But that’s the easy way out. In reality, it takes 2 to tango; issues are seldom one-sided. Learn to own what’s yours and give the rest back. 

You can jump out of a relationship when problems occur, but they’ll just follow you onto the next relationship because wherever you go, you take yourself with you. You pack up all your issues, sling them over your shoulder and bring them forward into the next relationship.

Our bags are pretty full and they’re weighing us down. Wouldn’t it be easier to unpack them, go through them and separate the dirty laundry from the clean? It’s more discreet and constructive to store our baggage in our new partner’s guest closet than it is to explode our dirty laundry all over their front foyer.

Do your work. Own what’s yours and give the rest back. No one is responsible for healing you. You can run from your problems, but you can’t run from yourself. It’ll just be a matter of time before you get caught.

Wherever you go, you take yourself with you. Life can be a long and exhaustive journey. Better to travel light and learn to check your emotions. 

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… take LONGER in the end.

There are no shortcuts to your own life experience.

Life builds onto itself everyday with every new experience and EVERY NEW EXPERIENCE IS NEEDED TO MOVE ONTO THE NEXT PHASE OF YOUR LIFE. 

Your life is a step-by-step amalgamation of your experiences, so if you don’t explore the wisdom of the phase you’re currently in, YOU’LL NEVER MOVE ON IN YOUR LIFE.

Don’t try to shortchange yourself by taking a shortcut, it’ll just leave you empty-handed and stuck in the same place. If you’re not moving forward in your life, ask yourself if you’ve sufficiently cleaned out your emotional attic? Every experience we have comes with its own attic we’d rather not open.

Think about it, you can’t renovate your upstairs if you still haven’t cleaned out your attic. If you don’t learn from and let go of old experiences, how can you move forward and build a new living situation for yourself? You can’t.

Shortcuts may seem like a great idea in the short run, but in the long run they leave you at a dead-end. Don’t look for the easy way out. The easy way out is just that — EASY, it’s NEVER better. 

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER,click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

 

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… will definitely drive you insane.

How could it not?

What we don’t realize is that if we want something to be different, we have to do something differently — otherwise nothing changes.

There are no coincidences in life. If something is showing up again, it is a pattern that needs to be worked through, NOT repeated; so the universe obliges and gives you yet another opportunity to work through the same pattern in a DIFFERENT way.

How will you respond this time is the question?

Coming to the SAME conclusions and engaging in the SAME behaviors will keep you stuck in the SAME cycle of learning.

Break the pattern and chains that bind you. Identify the pattern that is showing up and show up differently in response to it. If you don’t like the outcomes you’ve been receiving, show up differently, take different actions and watch your outcomes naturally differ.

Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is truly the definition of insanity. Learn to accept responsibility for you life. Learn to recognize your patterns and stop them in their tracks. Patterns are meant to be worked through, NEVER repeated. When you are ready to stop driving yourself crazy, a new life is ready to begin for you. What are you waiting for?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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… before it gets better.

No one ever said making change is easy. Growth takes hard work.

To become a beautiful butterfly, you have to live through the dark phase of the cocoon.

Giving up and staying in the cocoon isn’t an option. The struggle to get free of the cocoon is the struggle of transformation. How badly do you want to transform your life? Accepting the status quo will never get you out of that cocoon. To get to the light, often times you have to fight your way through the darkness.

Transformation is a lifelong process; it doesn’t happen overnight. Transformation is a series of steps that tend to make things appear worse before they can become better. It’s like any detox process, in order to cleanse the body and heal, the infection or toxins need to first rise to the surface before they can leave the body. So the darkness is temporarily exaggerated before the light of transformation can prevail.

To become something great, you have to do something great. Being great means using your inner strength to fight your way through your own cocoon of darkness. Remember giving up is never an option. Just when the catepillar was ready to give up his struggle, he transformed into a beautiful butterfly and flew away.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

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… gives you a new view.

How you look at things is how they will show up for you. So, if you want to see something differently, shift your perspective of it.

You get what you focus on and so if what you’re focusing on is making you uncomfortable or unhappy, you’ll only foster more of it by focusing your attention onto it. If you want to see something different, refocus your perception of it in order to see it differently.

In other words, you’ll never get to what makes you happy by focusing on what doesn’t, because by focusing on it, you attract more of it.

You can’t change the things you’re looking at, but you can absolutely change the WAY you’re looking at them and that will change everything for you. Take your focus off what is upsetting you and put it onto something that feels better. Focus on the good and you’ll get more of it, focus on the bad and it’ll take over.

You get what you think about whether you want it or not. You cannot control others but you can absolutely control the way they affect you.

Do you want clarity? Don’t just accept the view you’re handed, learn to refocus your lens so you can always see things clearer.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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never-expect-people… and you’ll NEVER be disappointed.

It’s a beautiful gift to be able to see the potential in people – to be able to see what they’re capable of and to believe in them (even when they don’t believe in themselves).

But just because you see the potential in someone doesn’t mean they themselves are ready to rise to that potential. Not everyone is ready to embody the idealized version of them you might be holding. Expectations destroy relationships. Never expect someone to be other than who they are. It’s unfair to them and it’s unfair to you.

When people show you who they are, BELIEVE THEM. And don’t expect them to show up otherwise. It doesn’t serve you to EXPECT that people act in a certain way. It only sets you up for disappointment when they don’t.

Stop believing in people’s potential and start believing in how they are showing up in this moment. Because that is all you have. Nothing else is real.

The easiest way to destroy a relationship is to expect someone to act in a way that is not authentic to them. Let your expectations go. Stop trying to change people. People have to want to change on their own.

Let people be who they are and if who they are doesn’t work for you, make another decision. But don’t spend one more second trying to make them into who you think they should be. When people tell you who they are, believe them and never expect them to be other than who they are and you will NEVER be disappointed.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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grey1… it’s always in the shades of grey.

We’re a solution-driven species and hence we feel very uncomfortable when we do NOT have all the answers.

But life isn’t about knowing all the answers. It’s about exploring the depth/richness behind the range of ambiguity within all 5,000 shades of grey, because as humans we are much more complex than just being black or white. There is much more to our emotional wellbeing, our intelligence and our rational thinking then just black and white.

Black or white is an easy label but living life in the grey pushes you further. In other words, needing guarantees in life keeps you limited; being comfortable with uncertainty/exploration keeps you expanding into yourself.

Don’t stop at black or white; you can go further in the grey areas. There is much more to explore in the realm of uncertainty than there ever is in the realm of certainty. To be the best YOU, you always want to explore the levels of grey – push yourself further, take chances, take risks, and move out of your comfort zone. Being in the grey area shouldn’t be scary, it should be embraced and savored for all it’s potential.

Guarantees don’t make you safe in life, they keep you stuck and narrowly defined. Be comfortable within yourself to navigate all 5,000 shades of uncertainty. Then once you have sufficiently explored the varying shades of grey, you will be ready to define your own unique shade and it’s sure to NOT be black or white. How could it be?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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