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Archive for the ‘Being Yourself’ Category

… will only disappoint you.

We all have our own baseline expectations of how people should behave in given situations BUT expecting people to uphold those expectations is both unrealistic and unfair to everyone.

It’s ok to have high standards for personal decorum, but it’s not ok to put those standards on others.

Putting those standards on others sets them up to fail and sets you up to be disappointed. Let people be who they are and IF WHO THEY ARE DOESN’T WORK FOR YOU – MAKE ANOTHER DECISION, but don’t waste one moment hoping/expecting they’ll show up differently.

Expecting people to be other than who they are is a game you’ll NEVER win. It only sets you up for disappointment when they don’t come through. Recognize that you can’t fix people and you can’t change them, but you can learn to accept them for who they are and LET THEM OFF THE HOOK for everything they cannot be for you. 

People are messy and they come with their own limitations. Don’t get caught up in those limitations – they’ll only frustrate you. Remember that it isn’t your job to hold up a mirror to their lack of self-awareness. If they cannot see themselves, there isn’t anyway you’re going to be able to show them who they are.

Learn to know the cards you are holding – learn to know the person who is sitting right across from you and NEVER EXPECT THEM TO BE OTHER THAN WHO THEY ARE and you’ll never be disappointed.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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… they NEVER stay the same.

Why do we think that making a commitment means forever? Our universe is in a constant state of flux — everything changes, nothing remains static.

We, ourselves are continuously growing and changing and our commitments must reflect that evolution if they’re to remain relevant and supportive of our needs. 

Commitments should be fluid — they should never drown you. They should ebb and flow and morph with you. Anything that confines you suppresses your creativity; anything that moves with you gives you new life.

You’re never stuck in a commitment. If it’s a healthy commitment, it knows how to evolve with you.

So go ahead, make a commitment — any commitment, it doesn’t matter which commitment you make because in reality, you can never make a mistake. Commitments evolve and commitments bring you deeper into your experience. They help you to know better what is right/wrong for you. So pick a direction and commit to it. And if a commitment is no longer serving you and no longer evolving with your needs, re-think it. That’s life. No one commitment can serve you forever.

Your life is a foundation of commitments — in order to get somewhere, you have to start some place, so commit to it. For your life path to evolve, you have to first get onto one. Make that commitment, go deeper into your experience and the rest of your life will naturally unfold.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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… where else would you go?

We all have our personal issues and they always seem to show up through the dance of relationship.

We are very quick to identify other people’s issues, but not as quick to identify our own.

When a breakdown in relationship occurs, there’s a natural tendency to blame and point fingers. But that’s the easy way out. In reality, it takes 2 to tango; issues are seldom one-sided. Learn to own what’s yours and give the rest back. 

You can jump out of a relationship when problems occur, but they’ll just follow you onto the next relationship because wherever you go, you take yourself with you. You pack up all your issues, sling them over your shoulder and bring them forward into the next relationship.

Our bags are pretty full and they’re weighing us down. Wouldn’t it be easier to unpack them, go through them and separate the dirty laundry from the clean? It’s more discreet and constructive to store our baggage in our new partner’s guest closet than it is to explode our dirty laundry all over their front foyer.

Do your work. Own what’s yours and give the rest back. No one is responsible for healing you. You can run from your problems, but you can’t run from yourself. It’ll just be a matter of time before you get caught.

Wherever you go, you take yourself with you. Life can be a long and exhaustive journey. Better to travel light and learn to check your emotions. 

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… it never makes it easier.

We have it all wrong — life is meant to be simple, not a struggle. But we’re the ones who get in our own way — we make it harder then it has to be. 

The best decisions in life are the easiest to make. They’re the most fundamental and they make the most sense. They’re the foundation from which we build upon, but overthinking runs that foundation into the ground.

When you overthink things, you lose the spark of inspiration that created it.

Our problem today is that we know too much. We’re inundated with information and we’re too highly educated and informed and rely too heavily on our mental processing to make decisions. We’re trapped in our heads and thus have lost our intuitive guidance. It leaves us KNOWING a lot but not being able to FEEL a whole lot.

Overthinking overcomplicates your life; what good is knowledge if it only confuses you? It’s not what you know, it’s what you feel that makes all the difference in the world.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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… it’s about how you choose to REACT to it.

Your reactions are what make it REAL for you. In essence, nothing can be real until you react to its presence in your life.

Reacting is a just a way of solidifying a situation. Think about it… a situation is just a situation, how you react to that situation will determine your next experience. This is because your reaction sets into motion a set of circumstances that generate a given outcome. So if you react positively, you get a positive outcome. If you react negatively, you get a negative outcome. If you don’t react at all, the outcome is undetermined; it’s awaiting your response.

Think before you react. Your personal reaction will set off a chain reaction of events in your life. Ask yourself how you want a situation to play out and then act accordingly, not unconsciously.

A conscious action has a better chance of yielding a desired outcome. An unconscious reaction will almost guarantee an unfulfilled outcome.   

Life isn’t about what happens to you. It’s only about your reaction to it. Because your reaction is what makes it real for you. Next time something happens, how will you react?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.
Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

 

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… is a step closer towards success.

But we were never taught that.

We view failure as a setback, but in reality “failure” is NOT a setback, but a necessary “step-BACK” along our path towards success. Sometimes it’s necessary to step back in life to regroup and re-calibrate so that we can move forward in a stronger, more definitive way.

It’s important to understand that success is very rarely a steady trajectory upwards. By it’s definition, it’s frought with many step-backs — it has to be. After all, if you didn’t know failure, how could you ever really come to know success?

Our lives are about taking 1-step forward, 2-steps back and it’s the steps-back that enable us to “re-trace” our steps in order to do things better next time. The steps back allow you to process the wisdom you’ve already garnered and make some new decisions with it.

Failure is never falling short of your goal — it’s part of the process it takes to get there. When you learn what doesn’t work, you begin to understand more about what will work. Rejoice in your failures, they innately set you up onto a more solid foundation moving forward. The only way to get to the next highest mountain top is to come down the side of the mountain you’re on. Don’t fight the downhill slide, use that experience to go higher up the next mountain.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… it’s how quickly you can catch yourself.

We all fall. The cycle of life has many ups and downs. After all, what goes up must come down. Falling down isn’t the issue — learning to land more gracefully is.

How do you weather your falls? Do you crash and burn? Or do you catch yourself so you do not go down in flames? We innately understand how to catch ourselves when we trip over a curb, but we somehow get tripped up over our falls in life.

Falling isn’t the issue, it’s what we do once we fall that determines where we will end up. Are you adept at catching yourself and making it look like a seamless step or do you allow that stumble to bring you to your knees in tears for everyone to see.

Falling doesn’t have to mean falling apart. It can also mean falling into something new. Don’t buy into the drama of the fall, pretend that it was an intentional measure to showcase your strength and fortitude. What doesn’t kill you will always make you stronger as long as you manage to get up off the floor and keep moving.

Don’t get tripped up over the fall. Learn how to make a dance out of it. Be easy with yourself. Be light. And the next time you fall, it will not take you out; it will only make you laugh.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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