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Posts Tagged ‘therapy’

… keeps you both in darkness.

Why not learn to throw down a ladder instead?

There is a difference between trying to help someone and losing yourself in the process.

You can’t change people. You can’t fix people. You can’t drag people to a better version of themselves. They have to want to meet you there or they will never get there.

You can’t do the work for people. Giving them all the answers doesn’t help them to learn how to crawl out of the hole themselves. What happens the next time they fall in again?

Show them there is a better way to live. Throw them down a ladder and encourage them to climb out themselves. Lead by example. Stay out in the sunshine and entice them out of their darkness. But stay away from the edge, you might just fall in. If you try to do their work for them, you’ll both end up in the hole and then you won’t be of any use to them.

If you really want to help people, teach them how to work their way back up to the light. Give them the tools to help them climb out on their own and welcome them out into the sunshine. It’s a win-win for both of you.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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th… is a natural cycle of life.

Not every relationship is meant to last forever.

Not every person is meant to be in your life forever.

People come in an out of your life for a reason and once that reason is served, they are free to move on… and it’s imperative that they move on.

People in your life are like trees… Some are like the leaves, they sway back and forth in the breeze and never seem to be a stable presence in your life and then they wither and die off. Some are like the branches, they have a slightly more sturdy presence in your life but may give way and betray you if you step out too far on them. And some are the roots, the roots are the people who are foundational in your life and will stand the test of time.

But not everyone in your life is a root. Nor are they meant to be. 

Most people are seasonal and come into your life to teach you certain things, inspire you, or support you on your path, and then that season is over…. and they are gone. They have to leave because they move with the seasons.

The seasons understand letting go – it happens naturally. But people fight this natural process and try to hold onto the season long after it has gone. It is important to understand that truly loving someone means letting them go when you realize the season has changed.

So leaving is a natural part of the loving process. You always have to make space for the next love to come in (both for yourself and for your partner). Don’t hold on too long to a dying leaf or a broken branch, offer it up to new growth. Recognize that you may be sad during that winter of your life, but know that spring is always just around the corner. Loving and leaving is a natural cycle of life. Love isn’t always forever, but its lessons last a lifetime.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

 

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th-4… empowers you.

Making others responsible for it, destroys you.

It doesn’t matter what happens to you in life, you own it. It’s your life, how are you going to make it better?

We call it the blame game. Blaming others for where you are in your life, doesn’t help you live it. No one is responsible for your life, but you. It’s no one else’s job to make sure you are happy or you are living your life the way you should be; it’s your job.

When you accept responsibility for where you are in your life, you are fully in charge of your destiny and where you are headed. You are in complete control. You are empowered to make the right decisions for yourself and because of that your life flows harmoniously.

But when you blame others for where you are in your life, you miss the opportunity to grow through your experience and evolve accordingly. And when you are blaming others for where you are in your life, you will never be able to get to where you need to be.

Being responsible is a responsibility and unfortunately not everyone is ready for it. Accepting responsibility for your life is a given. No one else can do it for you. If you are unhappy with any aspect of your life, change it. Don’t waste your time blaming someone else for it. Your life only begins the day you are able to fully accept responsibility for it. When you are ready, the rest of your life is ready to begin.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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th-2… leave it with LOVE.

Otherwise you’ll be attached to it. And not in a good way.

In other words, if you hate it or resent it, it will follow you. And if you’re done with something/someone, do you really want it hanging over you and preventing your happiness?

Negative emotions such as anger, hatred, resentment, frustration, guilt, and pain carry a dense vibration; they keep you locked and engaged in a very painful dialogue with your past. As long as you harbor those emotions, you are not free to move forward into your future. Those emotions will keep you trapped in the place you’ve struggled to move away from.

The answer? Let go with love…

Translation? Learn the reasons why that person/situation was on your path. What did they bring to the table for you? What did they teach you? How did they make you better? Acknowledge all the good the relationship bestowed upon you and be grateful for the experience. It made you who you are. Bless it and let it go – but always let it go with love – kindly, constructively and compassionately – then your work is done.

Letting go with love sets you free because it assures that you have allowed yourself to get the learning from the experience and you pass that love along to the person/situation you walk away from. That love is kind and mutually supportive – it’s a win-win situation for everyone. As humans, to be heard and understood and to hear and understand another is the greatest gift we can offer each other. It’s the greatest gift that love offers.

So when you leave something/someone, leave it with love. That quality of love will sustain and nurture both of you as it heals the past and opens the doors to a much happier and healthier tomorrow.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.
Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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th-7… makes you JUST as crazy.

Yet we try to do it anyway.

In life, your only responsibility is to express yourself to others and to do so kindly, constructively and compassionately. Then your work is DONE. You owe nothing else.

Your work is never to make the other person understand you. In fact, they may NEVER understand you. They may never be able to understand you. But that is about them, NOT YOU.

People always come to the table with their own bag of tricks – their own fears, struggles and hidden pains that generally create protective barriers around them. In other words, people shut down to hearing what might very well cause them pain or confusion or burst their bubble of “reality.”

But here’s the deal… those walls are theirs and it is not your job to try and tear them down so that they can hear you. Your job is only to express your truth in the kindest fashion possible and then LET IT GO. Don’t need them to agree with you. And certainly don’t argue with them either. Instead give them space to hear and digest what you have said. They will come around in their own time and if they don’t, they might not be the right people to have in your life at that moment.

It is also important to remember that people who are hurting naturally come across as “illogical and irrational” in their speech, but again, you cannot change that for them. You can only offer your truth with kindness, compassion and understanding. And realize at that point that your work is done. Bless them and walk away.

Trying to negotiate with crazy will make you just as crazy. Recognize that it’s NEVER your job to convince someone of your feelings and intentions. It is only your job to express them with kindness and let others find their way with them. When they are ready, they will hear you and in the interim, invest in others who are more open to who you are and what you have to say. After all, life is too short to feel like you are talking to a wall. Don’t make yourself crazy, put your energy into talking with someone whom you can actually have a 2-way dialogue with.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter.

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ignorance-is-bliss1… or is it?

If ignorance is bliss, then why aren’t more people happy? Truth is burying your head in the sand does very little to help you heal difficult emotions.

Your emotions are an internal barometer to what is going on in your life. If you are unhappy at all, it is a sign to you that something is wrong and that some part of your life requires attention. 

But we are so busy day-in and day-out, that we do not make the time to check-in with our emotions. We go on automatic pilot and just work off our to-do lists and wonder why happiness continues to elude us?

Here’s the deal… Ignoring your emotions will never make you feel better. It’s an avoidance strategy. It’s much easier to try and anesthesize yourself against those painful emotions then it is to address them head-on and ask yourself how you can transform them to get what you need out of life?

Your emotions tell you everything you need to know about what’s going on with you. If you’re wondering what’s going on with your life in particular and why things are feeling so painful, sad, chaotic, frustrating, angering, depressing or anxious, take a look at these emotions and start to ask yourself why you are feeling them? What or who is causing them? And what would it take to feel better?

Shedding the simple light of consciousness on these emotions will make all the difference in the world with how you feel and how you experience your life. Listen to your emotions, they are telling you what is wrong and what specifically needs healing. Trust me, ignorance is NEVER bliss. Bliss comes about only through conscious healing of your emotionality. Many things in life are meant to be easy; ignorance is something that makes life very hard.

Are you ready to be happy with your life?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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