Giving To Those Who Cannot Give Back

… leaves you feeling drained and depleted.

We call them “energy vampires” – they take and take and never learn to give back in equal measure.

Some of us make the mistake of giving and giving – physically, mentally and emotionally to others and thinking that it will somehow come back to us? But it doesn’t always work that way. Givers are givers and takers tend to be takers. That doesn’t make them bad; it just makes them different from you. Not everyone is capable of giving to the same extent that you might be.

Some people are just naturally capable of GIVING MORE to others and some people are naturally accustomed to RECEIVING IT. Ask yourself how you show up in your relationships and then realize who you are and what level of giving you require in a harmonious relationship and DON’T ACCEPT LESS.

People will always take what is on offer so STOP GIVING if it is depleting you. It doesn’t win you any prizes. It isn’t necessary to continually support an energy vampire if they do not know how to support you in return. You never want to prioritize someone who makes you an option.

Even the sweetest, most kind-hearted and sensitive beings can be energy vampires if they do not know how to show up for you the way you need them to. Again, that doesn’t make them bad, it just makes them NOT RIGHT FOR YOU. Look for someone “in your league” – someone who deeply cares for you and for your wellbeing and someone WHO KNOWS HOW TO SHOW YOU THAT by SHOWING UP FOR YOU. In other words, look for someone who matches your level of giving. If it is “all about them,” they are most likely not at your level.

There’s no reason to be resentful. Don’t hold it against someone for not giving to you; most of them are simply incapable of doing so. A better question to be asking is – “why you have been giving someone so many chances to disappoint you?” It isn’t about someone NOT GIVING BACK TO YOU in as much as it’s about WHY YOU ARE CONTINUALLY GIVING TO SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T GIVE THE SAME IN RETURN.

People don’t change. Zebras don’t change their stripes because yours are prettier. It’s not enough enticement. Stop giving to those who cannot give back to you and start GIVING THEM UP. Give back to yourself the energy you put into them and before you know it, you will attract a much higher level soul who will be able to give back to you in equal measure. It’s all in the giving that we receive.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

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Healthy Relationships

… require healthy people.

How “healthy” are you?

Are you happy, successful and stable within yourself?

Can you be alone and still be happy?

Do you need something from someone else to feel contented and secure?

Ask yourself these crucial questions and be honest with yourself. Healthy relationships with others only happen when we have a healthy relationship with ourselves first.

It’s no one’s job to make you happy. It’s yours.

It’s no one’s job to provide emotional security for you. It’s yours.

It’s no one’s job to help you feel confident in your skin. It’s yours.

It’s no one’s job to make you feel beautiful. It’s yours.

It’s no one’s job to solve your problems. It’s yours.

It’s no one’s job to help you feel safe in a relationship. It’s yours.

If you are relying on another person to be any of these things for you, you are “needing from them” NOT “loving them.” Need is need. It is NEVER love.

But once you have a good handle on all the above within YOURSELF, you are able to truly share yourself with another human being in a healthy loving relationship. But all too often we get into relationships where we expect that another person will somehow “make it better” for us. That they will somehow be the “magic bullet” we are missing in our lives. And that they will somehow bring a quality to our lives that we do not already have for ourselves. This is NEVER the case. And then we become disillusioned and discouraged that that person has somehow failed us – but in reality, it was never their job to be that something for us. It was our job all along.

Healthy relationships require healthy people to make them work. Do the work on yourself and learn how to be healthy and happy within yourself, by yourself. Then you will have all the tools necessary to maintain a truly healthy relationship.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

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Doubting Yourself

… will make you crazy.

You already know what is right for you. It is built into your soul. Your intuition tells you right off the bat everything you need to know about a new person or a new situation. But do we every listen to it?

We are so conditioned to use our minds to process situations but that takes us out of our own intuitive guidance. Do you want to know if someone or something is right for you? Your answer is always in the first 30 seconds of contemplating the situation. Are you excited about it? Does it raise passion in you? Do you feel comfortable with this person? The soul gives you an intuitive answer right away. But it is the mind that steps in and re-evaluates things and causes complications, indecision and frustrations.

Don’t doubt yourself. Listen to yourself and stop the mind from overthinking, it takes you further away from what is right for you. If your intuition is pointing you in a direction, don’t doubt it – especially if it doesn’t make sense. Our intuitive guidance rarely makes sense, but it is there to help guide us in the right direction.

If you allow your mind to rationalize your life, it will run you all over the map. The only truth is spoken in your intuition. Listen to it; it will never lead you astray. Doubting your intuitive guidance will only make you crazy; listen to it and you will NEVER make a mistake.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

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You Can’t Chase Money

… you have to feel WORTHY of having it.

In our society we are conditioned towards money – chasing it and amassing it. We believe that our very existence is predicated on our ability to make money – that abundance is somehow predicated on hard work, achievement and sometimes even sacrifice.

But what we don’t realize is that that is only HALF the equation.

The truth is no matter how hard you work and how far you strive for material success, that success will always elude you if you do not feel worthy of actually having it. 

Abundance is our true nature and it is available for all those who believe in themselves and who know they are worthy and deserving of having it.

If you do not believe in yourself, you will have a hard time attracting financial success and if you somehow manage to attract a portion of it, you will not be able to maintain it – it will leave your hands as quickly as it came in.

Everything is energy and if the energy you are putting out is uncertainty surrounding your capabilities, and insecurity around your ability to deserve a higher paycheck, then you are keeping that material success from you.

Do you want more money? Stop chasing it and start believing in your abilities and worthiness of having it. When we finally transition our focus from chasing to deserving, it attracts the material success we’ve been seeking all along. In life, it’s not about how hard you work, but how much you feel you deserve it. How worthy do you feel of having money?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

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Lose What Doesn’t Work

… to make room for what will.

We have a tendency to hold onto things and situations in our lives that do NOT work. It is almost as if we think that by holding tighter to what isn’t working that it will all of a sudden somehow become what we need? But this never happens.

In life we need space to create what we want/need and when that space is filled up with what isn’t working, it takes up valuable real estate and tells the universe that we do NOT want better.

You have to free yourself of what is not working so you can fill the space with what will work. Trying to force something to work NEVER makes it work. Taking a step back and giving the situation the space to breathe will allow the energies to re-align and bring about the highest outcome for all involved.

Sometimes in life you have to lose to win. Riding a broken bike will never win you the bikathon, but retiring the bike to the bike shoppe for a period of time will guarantee that you are ready to get back behind the starting line of the next one.

Life is too short to hold onto what doesn’t work for you. Let it go and love yourself enough to ask for better. Losing is the great arbiter of justice. By losing it all, you have half a chance of finding what will work better for you. Losing is definitely the winning strategy. Be happy to lose!

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

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Lemmings Follow

… they NEVER lead.

We spend a good portion of our lives giving away our power to others. We don’t always make up our own minds, we allow them to be swayed by other’s viewpoints. Sometimes it’s much easier to adopt a given school of thought then it is to apply your own intelligence to a situation. But every time you do that, you disempower yourself and lose a part of your identity.

Your work in this life is to live YOUR life. No one else’s. But if you are waiting to see what everyone else is doing or saying then you are not leading your life. You are leading someone else’s.

You are an individual and you were never meant to recede into the background as just part of the crowd, you were ALWAYS meant to stand out. Why are you hiding behind other’s approvals or judgments?

The beauty is in being YOU. Not in being part of a group. Step aside from the group and shine your light. Your uniqueness is what makes you who you are. Why would you ever hide from that?

When you live your own life and make your own choices and decide NOT to follow the crowd, your life soars in amazing ways. The universe is waiting to see whether you are ready to take responsibility for your life and truly own it or if you prefer to sit it out in the passenger seat. The rewards only come by being YOU, not by sitting it out and watching the world go by.

Leaders make a difference in the world. Followers are just along for the ride. Which one do you want to be?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

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Are You Open?

… you might not be.

Just because you want something, doesn’t mean you get it. You have to be OPEN to receiving it. You have to feel WORTHY of having it and you have to be a VIBRATIONAL MATCH to it before it can appear in your life. Getting what you want is a process. And until you gel with that process, what you want will always elude you.

Many of us do not have what we want in our lives because on some level we do not feel worthy of having it. Maybe we feel inadequate for that job promotion. Maybe we feel that the object of our affections is “out of our league.” Maybe we feel we do not have enough or the right education to do what we really want to do in life. Maybe, maybe, maybe…. but just maybe it’s all our maybes that are keeping us back from having everything we truly want. Maybe doesn’t guarantee success. By nature, it is littered with doubt. Telling yourself you might not get it, assures you never will. Being truly open means acknowledging that it is there for you and anxiously awaiting its arrival with a certainty that it is yours.

So remember, isolating what you want is the easy part. Now the real work begins. Before what you want can make it into your reality, you must be able to embody the energy of being truly open to it. In other words, knowing you are worthy of having it and allowing yourself to live in a space where excitement is bringing it to your door.

Is there something you want? Learn to be open to receiving it….

Know you are worth it.

Get excited about having it.

Never ponder the possibility of it not happening.

That way your work is done and it will most certainly be yours. Are you ready to receive what you truly want? Time to be open to it.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

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Giving Away Your Power

… renders you powerless.

Yet we all do it.

When you give your power over to another human being to judge you, you weaken yourself. We spend too much time caring too much what other people think about us. “Do they think I am intelligent? Do they think I am good at my job? Do they think I am a good match for him/her? Do they respect the work I do? and so forth.

It doesn’t matter what other people think about you; it only matters what YOU think. 

Every time you worry about others’ opinions about you, you give your energy over to them to fret over their opinions. That exchange of energy only leaves you depleted, depressed and defeated. Time to pull it back. Take back your power and override your fears of others’ judgments. When you take back your energy, you empower yourself to put that energy back into yourself and your work. The results will speak for themselves.

When we give our power over to others, we become powerless ourselves. No more giving your power over to others to feel badly about yourself. Time to stop undermining who you are and start owning your own power. Focus not on how other’s view you, but on what YOU have to contribute to the world. Your opinions are the only ones that matter. When you put your energy back into YOU, your world shines and everyone sees you as the star you always were.

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When You Love Yourself

… you WIN.

When you give to YOU, you have so much more to give to others – your light shines.

When you continually put others and their needs in front of yours, you suffer – it puts out your light.

Believe it or not, your only responsibility in life is to yourself. That is not to say that you become selfish. But it is to say that your goal in life should be to prioritize your needs and NOT push them to the back burner for anyone.

Our goal in life is to become healthy, happy and well-adjusted. This only happens by honoring ourselves and our boundaries with others. When you are good to YOU, your vibration raises, you feel fulfilled, contented, supported and inspired to live the best life you can. It is from that space that we can create happiness and success while also inspiring others make positive change in their lives.

But when we overextend ourselves and give everything away to others, (aka becoming the “martyr”) we take ourselves down. When you give yourself away, you lose YOU. Simple concept that we have yet to embrace.

No one told you that you are responsible for saving the world. You want to do good in the world? Start by saving yourself FIRST. Draw real boundaries between you and negative people who drag you down, take time out for yourself, treat yourself to anything that makes you happy. Honor YOU, and watch your life flourish. Like attracts like. When you are happy, your vibration raises and you continue to attract high vibrational people and situations into your life.

But when you are busy exploiting yourself for others, your vibration drops and you continue to attract lower vibrational situations and people.

How do you want to live? Learn to love yourself and make the most out of YOUR life. No one is responsible for your happiness but you, so make it a priority. 

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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Accepting Crumbs

… will never get you the full loaf of bread.

Accepting less than you deserve will only succeed in drawing less than satisfying situations into your life over and over again. In other words, if you make it a habit of accepting crumbs from lovers, bosses, family members or friends, then crumbs is what you will get. End of story.

When you exhibit a level of contentedness with those crumbs, you set a precedent and define a boundary of “being ok with getting less than you deserve”. This sends out the signal that you do not need or require more to be happy. You can no longer blame your significant other or boss, etc… for them not treating you better. In essence you have told them it is not necessary to give you more. Don’t sit around and wait and hope for someone to give you what you want. It will never happen. Decide that you will not spend one more hour wanting for what you need, be direct and tell them exactly what you want. If you do, you have half a chance of actually getting it.

One thing is for sure, if there is something that you need or want in life, articulate it and do not accept those crumbs. Crumbs never satisfy your hunger. They leave you frustrated, obsessive and hungry for more. After awhile of only getting crumbs, you begin to get resentful and angry. But whose fault is it? You do not get what you do not ask for.

Throw out those crumbs and demand a full loaf of bread, if not the entire bakery. We cannot sustain ourselves on crumbs alone. There is a whole bakery out there with your name on it. Stop the hunger and start satiating yourself with what you truly deserve.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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