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Posts Tagged ‘positive psychology’

… NEVER works.

Waiting around for others to make a decision that affects you, takes away your power. 

Never give anyone power over your life to decide your future. If you’re waiting on someone else to make a decision over your Plan A, make sure you have an EVEN BETTER Plan B and C in place.

You’re in control of your destiny, no one else is. Waiting on others to decide your future is a slippery slope. Putting anyone in the power position over your life puts you in the back seat. Get back into the driver seat of your own life and steer it home.

It’s ok to temporarily wait on someone else’s decision, it’s NOT OK to put your life ON HOLD while someone else decides your fate. Take back control over your life, have viable alternate options laid out for you and ready to rock once the decision is made and don’t look back.

Don’t spend time lamenting someone else’s decision over you, if the decision wasn’t in your favor, that option wasn’t in your best interest or aligned with your highest good — let it go. Move on to your personal Plan B and make it A-worthy.

Putting your destiny in other’s hands NEVER works. Why give someone else power/authority over you to decide your fate? Your life is yours. Never be without a plan you can love and never accept a plan you can’t live with. It’s your life. Don’t let anyone else live it.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER,click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… is that it’s always changing.

If you’re unhappy with where you are, stick around — it’ll flip soon enough.

Nothing ever stays the same for very long and that’s a good thing. Change is inherent in our universe. What goes up, must come down.

Just like the coin has 2 sides, heads and tails, life has it’s ups and downs. Neither experience is better or worse, they’re just different and provide different learning. And ultimatelyboth sides need to be experienced equally.

Don’t get caught up bemoaning the tails. It’s a waste of your energy. It only keeps you attracting more tails in your life. Remember that for every tail experienced, you get “a-head”, literally.

There’s no good or bad in life, there are only different sides of the coin. Tails are the more challenging experiences that bring you amazing growth. Heads are the rewards for having gotten there. One naturally feels better, the other makes you better. But neither is better than the other.

You want both sides of the coin. They enrich you — they expand you — they push you to your limits — then reward you for your efforts. The flip side of life is that things are always changing and the coin is always flipping. Don’t get caught out lamenting the tails, without them, there would be no heads.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… certainty is already defined.

Most of us fear uncertainty because of its inherent promise of change. But isn’t it much better to be uncertain of where you are than to be certain you are in the wrong place?

Uncertainty brings options. Certainty brings confirmation. Certainty is limited in its potential to please you, but anything can come out of uncertainty.

With uncertainty, the decision is not yet made. Therefore within the uncertainty, there is lots of potential; it just needs to be embraced and embarked upon.

Certainty is already decided for you. Uncertainty gives you a myriad of options if you’re brave enough to explore them. If you can dream it, it can be an uncertain probable outcome.

Don’t fear the uncertainty; embrace it — it’s bringing you to a future which is still yet undefined. Don’t hide from it, make it yours. Grab the uncertainty and get excited at the potential that awaits you. ALWAYS better to be uncertain where you are then to be certain you are in the wrong place. 

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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… it’s about how you choose to REACT to it.

Your reactions are what make it REAL for you. In essence, nothing can be real until you react to its presence in your life.

Reacting is a just a way of solidifying a situation. Think about it… a situation is just a situation, how you react to that situation will determine your next experience. This is because your reaction sets into motion a set of circumstances that generate a given outcome. So if you react positively, you get a positive outcome. If you react negatively, you get a negative outcome. If you don’t react at all, the outcome is undetermined; it’s awaiting your response.

Think before you react. Your personal reaction will set off a chain reaction of events in your life. Ask yourself how you want a situation to play out and then act accordingly, not unconsciously.

A conscious action has a better chance of yielding a desired outcome. An unconscious reaction will almost guarantee an unfulfilled outcome.   

Life isn’t about what happens to you. It’s only about your reaction to it. Because your reaction is what makes it real for you. Next time something happens, how will you react?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.
Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

 

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is about controlling your thoughts, NOT your actions.

Those of us who want to feel in control usually default to controlling our actions in the hopes of controlling an outcome. But there’s a better way to get the outcome you desire…

Start at the beginning — learn to control your thoughts FIRST because your thoughts create your perceptions and your perceptions create your reality.

Nothing will manifest through action if it’s not supported by a thought that’s aligned with it. In other words, if you think one thing but try and use action to create something else, it’ll never work. For example, have you ever tried to succeed in a business venture, yet didn’t believe in yourself that you could succeed? That’s a perfect example.

If your action doesn’t support what you think about it, it’ll never happen. There’s no amount of action that will overcome your thought about the situation. It doesn’t matter what you do, what matters is what you think about it.

Don’t fight yourself — if you want to control something, control something that’ll make a difference in your life. Don’t waste your time trying to control something physically through your actions and yet undue yourself mentally through your thoughts.

Do you want to be in control of your life? Learn to control the right things. Control your thoughts and it’ll control everything else.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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… doesn’t MAKE it work.

It just exhausts you.

There is only so much you can do to make a situation or a relationship work. At some point you have to be willing to walk away from it if it is not meeting your needs. In other words, you have to learn WHEN to walk away from what is NOT working, so you can free up the space to find what will.

You can’t repeatedly look at what’s not working and resent it for not being different.

It’s not others’ fault for not meeting your needs, it’s your fault for allowing them to continually disappoint you.

Don’t look to change others. Look to change yourself. If you are not getting your needs met, look somewhere else. Don’t make someone responsible for your happiness, take charge of it yourself.

Holding on to what doesn’t work, doesn’t make it work. It just breaks you down and takes your power away from you. Love yourself enough to ask for better and you just might get it.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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… brings you to the next.

Projecting into a future moment — leaves you stranded.

Being in the present moment is the roadmap to our lives. Living in a future moment sends us careening off-course.

Life isn’t about the future destination of where you’re headed, it’s about the present moment journey into yourself. And every great journey is born out of one step, because one step brings you to the next one, which brings you to the next one, and so on.

Being in the moment secures you on your path. When you are open to the wisdom of the moment, you are infinitely guided to the next step along your journey because you are moving along a path you are standing on. But when you’re living ahead of the moment and projecting yourself into a future moment (which doesn’t yet exist), you are throwing yourself off your path into the bushes and blind guessing where it might lead.

The future doesn’t have your answers. The moment has every answer you will ever need.

Don’t ask your future where you’re headed. The roadmap to your life is secured in this moment. The future moment may never come. If you base your destination on a future moment, you will have missed the richness of all the moments along the way.

Being in this moment brings you to the next. Never make a decision in the future based on a probable outcome which may never come. The only moment you have is in the NOW. When you make your decisions based on this moment, you’re on your path. When you make decisions based on a future moment, you are off in the bushes. Where do you want to be?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

 

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… even when you think it isn’t.

You may not understand WHY things happen the way they do in your life, but that doesn’t mean that they’re NOT purposeful.

Not everything that happens to you will make sense right away. In fact, in most cases, things that you deem “bad,” will turn out to be the very best things that ever happened to you. Why, you might ask? Because we never have full clarity in the moment. We never realize why things are happening the way they are because transition stirs up the dust so we cannot see clearly. But once the dust settles, we can see why we are, where we are, and it always make sense.

All you can do in life is chart a course and then stay that course. But that does not mean that you’ll NOT be detoured off that course. In other words, you can pick a path for yourself, but if it’s a path that you’re not meant to be on, you’ll be tossed off it and thrown onto a different path. And as traumatic as that transition is, it always lands you onto a much better path. Trust that.

Trust the process of your life. Things are always working out for you, even when you do not realize that they are. The universe works behind the scenes to bring you to exactly the right circumstances for you. You may not always get what you want, but you’ll always get what you need, whether or not you know you need it at the time. Everything is always working out for you, you’re never at a loss. Once you understand that, your life will change in the most amazing ways.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

 

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never-expect-people… and you’ll NEVER be disappointed.

It’s a beautiful gift to be able to see the potential in people – to be able to see what they’re capable of and to believe in them (even when they don’t believe in themselves).

But just because you see the potential in someone doesn’t mean they themselves are ready to rise to that potential. Not everyone is ready to embody the idealized version of them you might be holding. Expectations destroy relationships. Never expect someone to be other than who they are. It’s unfair to them and it’s unfair to you.

When people show you who they are, BELIEVE THEM. And don’t expect them to show up otherwise. It doesn’t serve you to EXPECT that people act in a certain way. It only sets you up for disappointment when they don’t.

Stop believing in people’s potential and start believing in how they are showing up in this moment. Because that is all you have. Nothing else is real.

The easiest way to destroy a relationship is to expect someone to act in a way that is not authentic to them. Let your expectations go. Stop trying to change people. People have to want to change on their own.

Let people be who they are and if who they are doesn’t work for you, make another decision. But don’t spend one more second trying to make them into who you think they should be. When people tell you who they are, believe them and never expect them to be other than who they are and you will NEVER be disappointed.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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