A Mid-life Crisis

… requires a mid-course correction.

A mid-life crisis can happen at any age, but the wisdom here is that the secret to healing it, is in the way we define it.

Life naturally has its ups and downs, and life is constantly asking you to define who you are in relationship to it. You’re never in a crisis, you’re only ever at a crossroads. You’re always being given a chance to PIVOT yourself away from what is not working and towards something that will.

Don’t fall into the drama of the crisis. Recognize that it reflects a crossroads for you. You get to evaluate your position and choose your next step. You are never stuck and you are never a victim of your circumstances. If you are unhappy where you are, make a move. Recognize that you’re always in control of your life; your life is NEVER in control of you.

You’re not having a midlife crisis, you just need to make a midcourse correction. Crossroads are always there to give you the opportunity to trade up. Are you ready for something new? The universe is waiting to give it to you.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

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Heroes and Cowards

… are the SAME PERSON.

They just respond to the same stimuli differently.

Heroes take charge of their lives and cowards let their lives run them over.

Heroes identify their fears and their areas of weakness and work through them each and every day. Cowards ignore their fears. They use their ego to falsely pretend they don’t exist.

Heroes believe in themselves because they are in touch with their vulnerabilities. They understand themselves and they know how to turn those vulnerabilities into real strengths. Cowards are insecure because they deny EVER being vulnerable.

Heroes put themselves in positions where they are challenged to work out their issues and fears. Cowards run from such situations. They feel they are too hard and require too much work and they innately know that they are not ready to do that work, so they hide.

Heroes look for opportunities to grow – NOT just on the outside by “trying to learn new things” but by looking INSIDE themselves and identifying areas of growth. Heroes look in the mirror and if they do not like the reflection staring back at them, they do something about it. Cowards on the other hand, don’t allow themselves to look in the mirror. The pain of not liking what they see is too great, so they pretend it is not there, they cover it up and mask it with overcompensation of ego.

Heroes seek constructive criticism because they want to cover all bases and want to make sure there is nothing they are missing. Cowards fight back when any form of criticism is issued. Surely it could never be theirs.

Heroes are modest and they genuinely make the world a better place both for themselves and for the world at large. Cowards talk a good game and try and make it “seem as if they are making a difference” but in reality, they are just indulging their egos.

Are you a hero or coward? How do you show up in your life? How do you face situations that challenge you? Do your face your fears or do you run and hide? Remember heroes and cowards are the SAME PERSON – they just respond to the same stimuli differently. Who are you?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

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A Change of Pace

… changes everything.

How could it not?

Change is the essence of life. Nothing ever stays the same. Life is designed to give us new experiences every so often – if we are open to it. But as humans we tend towards repetitive patterns that are familiar to us and thus make us feel safe. But there is a difference between safety and stagnancy. There is NO safety in staying stuck in your life.

Routine has the tendency to inhibit growth and new experiences. Routine keeps you trapped in your own creation of existence. Routine keeps you small; it prevents you from taking chances in your life that could potentially make all the difference in the world for you.

Time to break the ties that bind you – they are the routines that keep us trapped in cycles and cause a feeling of frustration and stagnancy. Your life will evolve as soon you as you allow yourself to breathe NEW life into it. It is up to you… you have to break the cycle; the cycle will NOT break itself.

So if you are feeling stuck in your life, CHANGE IT UP. Break the monotony. Take a risk. Challenge yourself. Do something different and invite the energy of change into your life. Look at things from a new perspective. Take a trip to a new destination. Experience a new culture. Show the universe that you are indeed ready to have a new experience in your life.

You do NOT have to change everything, you only have to give yourself a simple change of pace – in any one area with any one direction and that will ALWAYS be enough to invite the forces of change to dance with you.

Remember you only have to take one step and the universe will conspire with you to bring you the change you desire and deserve in your life. But that first step has to be yours. Staying still will always keep you stuck in your situation, but a change of pace will absolutely change everything for you. What are you waiting for?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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Numbing Yourself

… is a way of distracting yourself AWAY FROM YOUR PAIN.

And we all do it. And we are mostly unconscious of it.

You see, we all have “edges” (boundaries) and when we come up to an edge, we generally and very instinctively run away from it so not to feel the pain that could arise by bumping into that edge.

The “edges” represent a line of emotion that if crossed, the psyche tells us we will feel pain and it is human nature to avoid pain. So when we come up against one of our edges, we usually “run away” by numbing ourselves in a myriad of ways. Maybe you recognize some of them?

– over-indulging in addictive behaviors – food, drink, drugs, video games, sex, etc…

– distracting ourselves with our work/career

– “being too busy”/over-scheduled

– distracting/preoccupying oneself so not to have to focus on what another is saying to us or not having the time to see our own patterns playing out

– putting on armor so people do not know who really are

– changing the subject when the topic pushes an edge of ours

– avoiding deep conversations/connections with others that could potentially hit an edge of ours

– blaming others for our own wrong doings

We may also hit an edge when someone hurts us or when someone loves us more than we love ourselves.

So inevitably, romantic love brings up all our edges. If your life strategy includes hiding from your edges, you will never feel comfortable with someone whom you innately know will push that edge.

The problem isn’t that we have edges, it’s that we spend an inordinate amount of time trying to avoid hitting those edges. But the thing about edges is that they blunt over time – if you approach them often enough. The more experience you have coming up to those edges and experiencing your fears, the less sharp those edges are.

When you come up to an edge, it is your indication that you are feeling an emotion that does not feel safe, but every emotion is there to teach you something about yourself. Dive in.

Avoiding your edges and numbing yourself so you never feel them will NEVER serve you. Your emotionality will never evolve. Do the work on those emotions when they come up and you will find that you know yourself much better and you become emotionally stronger. Know your edges. Know what they bring up. And don’t avoid hitting them. A better day is ahead of you once you wake up from your tranquilized slumber.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

 

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Fixing People Never Works

… getting out of their way does.

After all, if you can’t fix them, you don’t want to get cut on their broken edges.

We tend to have expectations of people. We believe in “who they can be,” not necessarily who they have chosen to be. But it’s not your job to get people to change. Your wanting to change them (albeit for the own personal benefit) isn’t enough to get people to change. People have to feel that they are ready to make change and then embrace their own process to do so. Until then your words will fall on deaf ears and will only render you frustrated and create resentment on their part – everyone loses.

If you really want to “fix people,” help them to see why they may be broken. Highlight aspects of their behavior and kindly bring it to their attention and then STEP BACK. That might mean take yourself out of the equation for a bit so that they can do the work. If you stay in their life, they may not feel the need to do the work. But your absence may encourage them to reach higher. When you give people space, they generally find their own way towards change. When you sit on top of them, no doubt they will resist your efforts.

Choosing to stay in their life is fine as long as you detach from your need for them to change. You can’t make people be who you want them to be or be who you think they should be. You have to let people be who they are. And in the process of giving them that space, the seeds you plant with them will hopefully blossom over time.

You want to fix people? Teach them to plant better seeds for themselves and then GET OUT OF THEIR GARDEN. Let them nurture their own growth. And maybe one day, they will share their harvest with you.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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If You Do Not Like Where You’re Going

… rewrite your story.

After all, it’s YOURS to rewrite.

We all have a story. Our stories define our lives, but we forget that we are the authors of our stories and that we can rewrite our stories whenever we like.

You are never trapped in your story, if you do not like the chapter you find yourself in, rewrite a new ending – one that better fits you, one that better excites you, one that helps you make amends to the past and inspires you towards a better future.

It doesn’t matter where you have found yourself in your story, you can decide in this moment to change it. You are in full control and can change your story on a dime. If your past is harassing you, erase it and rewrite a new history for yourself and in your next moment, it will become your reality. If you do not like how you have shown up for yourself or others, start now and rewrite your role. Be the YOU you want to be and don’t feel imprisoned by the you you’ve been all along.

If you do not like what you are looking at, change it. You have a general script in place which is your destiny/fate. But you were given free will and that gives you the pencil/eraser to change any and all of it whenever you like. You are never bound to your story, you are always free to explore the parameters of your dreams.

What is holding you up? You are the only one keeping yourself stuck in a story that you’ve outgrown. When you decide to allow yourself to be happy, you will rewrite your story and allow yourself the opportunity to live the life you truly want to live, not the life you consequently find yourself living. There is a difference.

You hold the pen, you are the author, if you are unhappy with what is going on in your life, rewrite your story. Your story begins and ends with you. Why would you give anyone else the pen?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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Healthy Relationships

… require healthy people.

How “healthy” are you?

Are you happy, successful and stable within yourself?

Can you be alone and still be happy?

Do you need something from someone else to feel contented and secure?

Ask yourself these crucial questions and be honest with yourself. Healthy relationships with others only happen when we have a healthy relationship with ourselves first.

It’s no one’s job to make you happy. It’s yours.

It’s no one’s job to provide emotional security for you. It’s yours.

It’s no one’s job to help you feel confident in your skin. It’s yours.

It’s no one’s job to make you feel beautiful. It’s yours.

It’s no one’s job to solve your problems. It’s yours.

It’s no one’s job to help you feel safe in a relationship. It’s yours.

If you are relying on another person to be any of these things for you, you are “needing from them” NOT “loving them.” Need is need. It is NEVER love.

But once you have a good handle on all the above within YOURSELF, you are able to truly share yourself with another human being in a healthy loving relationship. But all too often we get into relationships where we expect that another person will somehow “make it better” for us. That they will somehow be the “magic bullet” we are missing in our lives. And that they will somehow bring a quality to our lives that we do not already have for ourselves. This is NEVER the case. And then we become disillusioned and discouraged that that person has somehow failed us – but in reality, it was never their job to be that something for us. It was our job all along.

Healthy relationships require healthy people to make them work. Do the work on yourself and learn how to be healthy and happy within yourself, by yourself. Then you will have all the tools necessary to maintain a truly healthy relationship.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Story You Tell Yourself

… makes up the story of your life.

What stories are you telling yourself?

We all tell ourselves stories. They are usually the stories of our limitations… “I am not good enough to get that promotion,” “It’s too risky to start my own business, I have a family to feed,” “I am unhappy in my relationship but at my age what if I never meet anyone else?”

These stories we tell ourselves keep us small and stuck in repetitive cycles. They keep us from taking chances in life. They keep us from becoming great.

The stories you tell yourself create your reality. They are based in fear so they manifest very quickly and only succeed in creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Are you buying into your fears or are you going to buy into your dreams/aspirations?

If your stories aren’t working for you, change them. Dream up a new story for yourself. One that empowers you and one that will create a better outcome for you moving forward. Your life is your story and if you are bored with the chapter or if it is no longer inspiring you, don’t just shut down and accept that that is your “lot in life.” Make a change. Create a new story and work towards its realization.

Life is to short to tell yourself disempowering stories. Do you want those stories to become the story of your life? Probably not. Time to get creative and learn to start living the real story of your life – the one that depicts your highest goals and dreams. What other story do you want to tell?

If you would like more information on Intuitive Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

If you would like to order a copy of Donnalynn’s new book, “Life Lessons,” click here. 

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