Redefining FAILURE

… is a step closer towards success.

But we were never taught that.

We view failure as a setback, but in reality “failure” is NOT a setback, but a necessary “step-BACK” along our path towards success. Sometimes it’s necessary to step back in life to regroup and re-calibrate so that we can move forward in a stronger, more definitive way.

It’s important to understand that success is very rarely a steady trajectory upwards. By it’s definition, it’s frought with many step-backs — it has to be. After all, if you didn’t know failure, how could you ever really come to know success?

Our lives are about taking 1-step forward, 2-steps back and it’s the steps-back that enable us to “re-trace” our steps in order to do things better next time. The steps back allow you to process the wisdom you’ve already garnered and make some new decisions with it.

Failure is never falling short of your goal — it’s part of the process it takes to get there. When you learn what doesn’t work, you begin to understand more about what will work. Rejoice in your failures, they innately set you up onto a more solid foundation moving forward. The only way to get to the next highest mountain top is to come down the side of the mountain you’re on. Don’t fight the downhill slide, use that experience to go higher up the next mountain.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

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Just Because A Chapter of Your Life Closes

… doesn’t mean you are finished with it.

We think just because it’s behind us that we’re done with our past. But the past doesn’t work that way. The past is only in our past if we have learned what we needed to learn from it and subsequently let it go.

How do you know if you have let it go? You are no longer attached to it.

So if it’s in your past, but you’re still angry about it, you’re still attached to it.

If it’s in your past, but you’re still upset about it, you’re still attached to it.

If it’s in your past, but you’re still hurting over it, you’re still attached to it.

If after all this time, you’re still having a strong emotional response to that person or event, then clearly you are still attached to it and therefore NOT finished with it. For better or worse, it’s very much still alive in your mind and heart.

You cannot run from your past. Unfortunately if you do not deal with it, it will always come back. Your past has a funny way of finding you when it is time to deal with something you’ve buried. So when your past comes back to you, it’s NEVER an unfortunate mishap, it’s the universe’s way of providing you with another opportunity for closure. Take it.

Just because a chapter of your life closes, doesn’t mean you are finished with it. Learn to not only close it, but find the closure in it.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

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You Can’t Keep What Isn’t Working

… it will be TAKEN AWAY from you.

And so it should be.

Why would you want to hold onto what isn’t working? It doesn’t serve you to hold onto it. But we do it all the time. We hold onto relationships and jobs that have outlived their usefulness in our lives. We get too comfortable with the routine even when it causes us unhappiness.

Maybe we hope we are wrong about them? Maybe we hope they will change? Maybe we are just not ready to admit that they aren’t working? Maybe we would feel like a failure if we were to admit they weren’t working?

Whatever the reason – holding onto what isn’t working in your life blocks your growth. It keeps you stuck and stagnant while you struggle to keep a hold of it. But here’s the deal… you can only hold onto what isn’t working in your life for so long until the universe takes it away from you – very abruptly.

You may have had a relationship or job ripped away from you. Rest assured that if you lose something (especially if you lost it suddenly or out of nowhere) that it was purposely meant to leave your hands at that moment. You may not be able to trust your own decisions, but you can always trust the universe to deliver the exact action that you require to bring your life into balance. In other words, you may not always get what you want, but you will always get what you need – whether or not you know you need it at the time.

Nothing in life is happening to you. It is happening FOR YOU to have a better life even if you cannot recognize that. If it isn’t working and you have held on too long, it will be ripped away from you – to help you make the decision you should have made for yourself months/years earlier.

Trust the process of your life to lead you to where you need to be. If something leaves your hands, let it go and trust that it will be replaced with something much better and something much more attuned to your needs and your growth. Don’t kid yourself. If it isn’t working, spare yourself the pain of having it taken from you – offer it up yourself.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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When The Dust Settles

… you can see more clearly.

But not until then.

We all go through really confusing situations from time to time. And while you are going through them, they never make sense. They are NOT supposed to. At the time, you just need to get through them. But once the dust settles, you can begin to understand just why that situation was happening to you.

Clarity only comes with time. Take a step back from those painful, confusing situations and put your energy into something else. All the wanting in the world for answers will NOT bring them any quicker. Situations resolve and lessons are learned when the timing is right.

Let the chaos around you settle down, don’t try and force the dust to settle either. You cannot control the amount of time you are caught in that dust storm. So best to put on your goggles and gear and trudge onwards. The important thing is that you nurture yourself along the way. All dust storms create uncertainty, confusion and of course bring up fear of the unknown. But as long as you know that going in to the drama, then you can remind yourself that the dust isn’t forever, it is just an illusion and before you know it, that the dust will settle and you will have complete clarity.

Life is a process and everyone gets caught in the dust storm; the question is how do you ride it out? Don’t take it too seriously, the dust will settle and you will see what was there for you all along. You don’t always get what you want in life, but you always get what you need and once the dust settles, you can see what that is.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

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If You Can’t Let Go

… you are still attracted to the lesson.

What is it that keeps us stuck in certain situations and with certain people? Why can’t we let go when we know we SHOULD let go?

The answer is pretty clear. If you’re still attracted to a person or a situation, there is a lesson there that you have not yet internalized. For when you get the learning from any situation in life, you are always ready to move on from it – in fact, you are excited to move on from it.

So if you find yourself obsessively trying to break free from a person or a situation but unable to do so, it is really time to look in the mirror and ask yourself what is the lesson here – what is the real learning? Why am I not able to move forward with my life? What is keeping me in the same repetitive pattern of unhappiness?

In order to help you find the lesson, look back to previous relationships and situations, see if you can detect the pattern. Once you do the work on finding the lesson, the lesson stops and you are free to move forward in a more constructive and fulfilling way.

Don’t beat yourself up for not being able to move forward. You are not weak and it’s not that you need a given person or situation in your life to be happy. It is only that you have not yet learned what needs to be learned from these people/situations and that is why you are finding yourself stuck and unable to break free. Do the work, get the lesson and get out. Your life is waiting to move forward – the rest is up to you.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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Staying Too Long

… makes you miss your stop.

Sometimes we stay too long in spaces we shouldn’t – spaces such as dead-end jobs and dead-end relationships. We stay hoping somehow we can transform them into being what we need them to be. Staying too long doesn’t remedy a bad situation, it makes it worse. It overstays your welcome and drains the situation or rather – runs it into the ground.

Be honest with yourself. Are you staying because it is what you really want and deserve or are you staying for some other reason based out of fear such as “I don’t think I can do better” or “there aren’t any other opportunities out there for me” or “I will never be able to do what I really want”.

Don’t stay too long in spaces that are not working for you. Yours is not to force fit them to meet your needs. Yours is to be strong enough to be able to discern what is best for you and for your growth and let the rest fall by the wayside.

Staying too long makes you miss your stop. Life is like a train ride from New York City to Boston. You will always get to your final destination in life, it is your destiny. You will reach Boston one way or another. But it is your choice as to whether or not you will enjoy the journey along the way. That journey has some beautiful shoreline along Connecticut and Rhode Island. If you stay too long at certain stops, you will miss the beautiful views and experiences that that journey has to offer. Don’t try and hold the doors open and stay in the station. Let the doors close. Let yourself get to the next stop and get out and take a look around. Life is too short to stay at one stop for too long. There is a whole coastline out there for you to explore. Give yourself the chance to have some great experiences and when they have served their purpose, be strong enough to let them leave your life. On to the next stop…

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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Don’t Look Back

… you are not going that way.

Referencing the past. keeps you stuck in it.

In life, moving on is the name of the game. Never do we want to look back for the answers. Looking back will never help you move forward. It just never will.

Whatever challenge you have come through needs to stay in the past – whether it be a break-up, divorce, bankruptcy, getting fired, etc… Challenges are meant to be overcome and moved beyond. Don’t dwell on the negativity. Don’t allow feelings of guilt, regret or pain keep you stuck in a cycle of decreasing self-worth.

Now, this does not mean ignore your weaknesses and pretend your issues are not yours. It simply means when dealing with memories of the past, it is critical that you get the lesson and get out. Don’t continue to relive the situation and the emotions in your mind over and over again. Learn what you need to learn and shut it down. Move forward with those lessons and make positive change in your life.

Carrying the heavy burden of those past memories only drags you down and slows your growth. It keeps you locked in the past and keeps it alive in your heart.

Your past is your past for a reason. If it was supposed to be in your present, it would be and if it is supposed to be in your future, it will be. But looking back at it only keeps you stuck and doesn’t allow you to get on with your life. Keep walking. If your past is meant to be with you, it will come and find you when the time is right.

Never look back for the answers… only look ahead. Your life is ahead of you, not behind you. 

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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