If you can’t solve it

… walk away from it.

At least for little while.

Then the answer becomes clear.

Pushing for answers doesn’t bring them quicker, it just highlights the questions.

You get what you focus on and if you’re obsessively focusing on the uncertainty, it creates more uncertainty. Clarity can only be found in a clear space and a clear space can only be found when all inquiries cease.

The best way to find clarity and to make decisions is to align with yourself — get out of your head and into your heart. Stop mentally projecting outside of yourself for answers and ask yourself how you feel in every experience.

Life speaks to you through your experiences. Don’t focus on finding the answers. Live your life. It has every answer you will ever need. 

Overthinking creates mental clutter. Living your life and feeling your way through your life brings solutions. With every experience you evolve and you intuitively learn where you need to be. Answers can never be artificially found outside of you, they have to be found inside you. If you can’t solve it, walk away from it and the answers will become clear.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

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A Healthy Ego Has Everything To Offer

… and NOTHING to prove.

So if you have something to prove, you may want to check-in with your ego.

Healthy egos create healthy humans. But in our fast paced society of competition and status, sometimes our egos default to the power outside of us rather than highlighting the power within us.  Our egos can become misguided and singularly focused on some notion of external power. But real power has nothing to prove. It just is. If your ego is healthy, you have NO NEED to wield your power over others, you are happy to use that power in support of others’ development. But when your ego is unhealthy, it needs to use it’s power outside of itself to control and manipulate everyone around you in order to feel safe and/or important, valued and validated.

How healthy is your ego? Where is your power center? Inside or outside? When you learn that a healthy ego is inwardly directed, you realize that you have it all within yourself. If people do not see how fabulous you are, it isn’t your job to prove it to them. It is only your job to prove it to yourself. So always put that external energy back into yourself and in time, everyone will see that you are “the REAL DEAL,” not only because you have everything to offer, but because you truly have absolutely no need to prove it to anyone. A healthy ego validates itself; it never needs validation from outside.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

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Woulda – Shoulda – Coulda

… but you didn’t.

So move on.

Hindsight is always 20/20 but your sight in the moment is all that matters. When you make a decision, you make it with the best information you have at hand in that moment. And that is really all that matters. That is all you can do.

Circumstances and situations change all the time as people use their free will. All you can do is to acknowledge that you made the best possible decision in that moment given the information you had at hand and LET IT GO.

You cannot control every outcome. You cannot outsmart the universe. Situations unfold quite purposefully to bring you to where you need to be in your life – whether you recognize that or not.

In the moment you make a decision, recognize that at that moment in time, you made the BEST DECISION. If you made that decision from a calm, centered space and it was a decision that felt authentic to you and satisfied your needs, wants and an innate understanding of your truth, then you made the RIGHT DECISION in that moment. End of story.

It doesn’t matter what the future brings… hindsight is always 20/20 and there is always a reason why we are NOT given it upfront. If we knew all the answers before we made the decisions, we wouldn’t be learning and evolving.

Your life is always unfolding in front of you. If a decision you made seems to no longer serve you or appears to be the wrong decision for you, then it is time to make another decision. Don’t regret the decisions you make, only regret your inability to revise the equation and make amendments to it.

Life is not static… decisions are meant to evolve and grow with you. “Woulda Shoulda Coulda” is the song for victims. When you are truly empowered and in charge of your life, you realize that all is happening exactly the way it is supposed to be happening and you are being asked whether or not you can roll with the changes.

Make your decisions and DON’T LOOK BACK. Your decision was perfect in that moment. But in this new moment, you might want to readjust it slightly in order to account for your own personal evolution. Hindsight might always be 20/20 but your insight in this moment is always PERFECT.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

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Being Vulnerable

… takes real COURAGE.

And only a small few have it.

In essence, being vulnerable is the key to your PERSONAL POWER.

Ironic… right?

Our society is obsessed with “being strong” and overcoming fears and inadequacies by overcompensating with ego. But that isn’t real courage. It’s fake. It’s a false sense of identity.

Hiding behind your ego is inauthentic to who you really are. It’s just a wall or facade that you put up for others to see while you cowardly hide behind it, with the intention of hiding all your insecurities, fears and failures.

But here’s the deal… real courage comes from inside – it is an inner strength and it’s dervived from your ability to be authentic to yourself, to be real, to acknowledge your weaknesses and recognizing that through them, your greatest strengths lie.

The ability to admit your faults, your fears, your inadequacies is what makes you truly courageous. In a world of cowards, those who can look in the mirror and own who they are, are the ones who will grow to address those faults, fears and inadequacies. Through this process, real growth and personal transformation occurs. Without this process, we become a slave to the ego and never heal our pain. We continue to mask our pain and push it down until it destroys us.

You don’t become courageous by being a coward and hiding your vulnerabilities from the world. Courage must be earned by fearlessly confronting your demons and being strong enough within yourself to wraggle them to the ground.

It is easy to sit by and pretend you do not have issues and hide them behind a thick, fancy, shiny patina. But really the question is… can you be vulnerable? Can you go deep within yourself and ask yourself who you really are and be able to unearth the negative patterns you have been unconsciously playing out? It’s only through that deep difficult work that one truly earns the title of true courage. It’s the ultimate bravery. Ignorance might be bliss…but it is NEVER courage. Being vulnerable is the only real courage.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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Heroes and Cowards

… are the SAME PERSON.

They just respond to the same stimuli differently.

Heroes take charge of their lives and cowards let their lives run them over.

Heroes identify their fears and their areas of weakness and work through them each and every day. Cowards ignore their fears. They use their ego to falsely pretend they don’t exist.

Heroes believe in themselves because they are in touch with their vulnerabilities. They understand themselves and they know how to turn those vulnerabilities into real strengths. Cowards are insecure because they deny EVER being vulnerable.

Heroes put themselves in positions where they are challenged to work out their issues and fears. Cowards run from such situations. They feel they are too hard and require too much work and they innately know that they are not ready to do that work, so they hide.

Heroes look for opportunities to grow – NOT just on the outside by “trying to learn new things” but by looking INSIDE themselves and identifying areas of growth. Heroes look in the mirror and if they do not like the reflection staring back at them, they do something about it. Cowards on the other hand, don’t allow themselves to look in the mirror. The pain of not liking what they see is too great, so they pretend it is not there, they cover it up and mask it with overcompensation of ego.

Heroes seek constructive criticism because they want to cover all bases and want to make sure there is nothing they are missing. Cowards fight back when any form of criticism is issued. Surely it could never be theirs.

Heroes are modest and they genuinely make the world a better place both for themselves and for the world at large. Cowards talk a good game and try and make it “seem as if they are making a difference” but in reality, they are just indulging their egos.

Are you a hero or coward? How do you show up in your life? How do you face situations that challenge you? Do your face your fears or do you run and hide? Remember heroes and cowards are the SAME PERSON – they just respond to the same stimuli differently. Who are you?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter.

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