Every Relationship Is Purposeful

… but not always for the reasons you think.

If someone is standing right in front of you, they are there for a reason. That relationship has something to teach you or contribute to you. But it may not be what you are expecting or hoping for. 

We tend to label relationships before we understand their purpose in our lives.

Not every relationship is meant to be in your life forever, but it is meant to be in your life for a purpose. 

For example…

Not every love relationship leads to marriage. Some guarantee heartache so you can learn what real love doesn’t look like.

Not every business partnership leads to success. Some ensure failure so you’ll understand how to become successful on your own.

Not every friendship leads to lifetime loyalty. Some encourage betrayal so you’ll learn to trust yourself and rely on your own inner power.

Not every employee respects your power. Some challenge it so you can learn to step fully into that power and own it.

Not every team player supports your team’s initiatives. Some push back on them so you can learn to evolve those initiatives in a stronger way.

Relationships may not always give you what you want; but they’ll always give you what they came to give.

Every relationship is purposeful; your only job is to identify the purpose and let it off the hook for everything else. 

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

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Unconditional Love

… loves WITHOUT conditions.

Anything else is conditional love which is predicated on meeting specific conditions…

Are they educated? check.

Are they the right age? check.

Are they the right body weight? check.

Do they make enough money? check.

Do they have the right social standing? check.

Will they make me look good in public? check.

But what if they didn’t tick these boxes? What then? What if you loved them anyway? Now there’s a dilemma.

But here’s what you need to know…

Conditional love is superficial. Unconditional love is eternal.

Conditional love falls apart when the conditions cease to exist. Unconditional love is free to grow because it’s not predicated on a condition.

Conditional love is choked by it’s own expectations. Unconditional love doesn’t have expectations, but remains open and hopeful.

Conditional love is about “ticking all the boxes.” Unconditional love abandons all requirements.

Conditional love looks to have all its needs met. Unconditional love looks to meet all needs.

Conditional love is selfish, self-centered and unilateral. Unconditional love is selfless and giving.

Conditional love is emotionally immature. Unconditional love is built on maturity and wisdom.

Conditional love is rigid and doesn’t like to take risks. Unconditional love is flexible and lives outside its comfort zone.

Conditional love suffocates under self-imposed rules. Unconditional love is freeing and knows no boundaries.

Conditional love is what you think you want. Unconditional love is what you never knew you wanted.

Unconditional love sneaks up on you — it shows up through a back door while you are at the front door waiting for something else.

Unconditional love is what was standing in front of you all along while you were busy ticking all your boxes and evaluating all your options.

Unconditional love is usually “the one that got away” while you were busy searching out the perfect conditions for it.

Unconditional love loves unconditionally. Anything else just doesn’t cut it. Ask yourself — how do you love?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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Just Because A Chapter of Your Life Closes

… doesn’t mean you are finished with it.

We think just because it’s behind us that we’re done with our past. But the past doesn’t work that way. The past is only in our past if we have learned what we needed to learn from it and subsequently let it go.

How do you know if you have let it go? You are no longer attached to it.

So if it’s in your past, but you’re still angry about it, you’re still attached to it.

If it’s in your past, but you’re still upset about it, you’re still attached to it.

If it’s in your past, but you’re still hurting over it, you’re still attached to it.

If after all this time, you’re still having a strong emotional response to that person or event, then clearly you are still attached to it and therefore NOT finished with it. For better or worse, it’s very much still alive in your mind and heart.

You cannot run from your past. Unfortunately if you do not deal with it, it will always come back. Your past has a funny way of finding you when it is time to deal with something you’ve buried. So when your past comes back to you, it’s NEVER an unfortunate mishap, it’s the universe’s way of providing you with another opportunity for closure. Take it.

Just because a chapter of your life closes, doesn’t mean you are finished with it. Learn to not only close it, but find the closure in it.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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Relationships Are About RELATING To Others

… NOT just to yourself.

Sounds obvious, but it’s not.

Relationships are a 2-way street. They require that 2 people relate to each other, deeply connect to each other, communicate with each other and share their lives with each other. 

If you are not doing this, you are NOT in a relationship. After all, you can’t just BE in a relationship, you have to RELATE to someone in a relationship. That’s how they work.

Relating isn’t just physical, it is emotional and mental as well. Relating is the magic ingredient that turns strangers into friends, roommates into lovers and lovers into committed partners. Relating is what keeps couples growing and evolving together, learning new things about each other and keeping their relationship fresh and exciting.

Where there is NO relating, there is NO relationship. If you are not relating to someone you are involved with, you are just co-existing together and that makes for a very lonely existence. Talking to your partner shouldn’t feel like talking to a wall. Being with your partner shouldn’t make you feel more lonely. If your presence in someone’s life isn’t adding value, why are you there? Without the deeper process of relating and developing a real connection, 2 people are just 2 people in a room, ghosts passing in the night, and after awhile those 2 people will no longer have a reason to be together. Don’t let your relationship get to that point. No one wants to sit across from their lover in silence because they’ve lost their connection to each other or worse – never had one.

Take the time to relate to another person. Get to know them deeply and take an active interest in them – engage them – get to know what’s important to them – share in their experiences and in turn, EQUALLY SHARE YOUR LIFE with them. Let them into your world and find ways to weave your lives together and from there grow your connection everyday. For if you don’t, you will forever remain just 2 people in a room.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

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When You Leave Something

… leave it with LOVE.

Otherwise you’ll be attached to it. And not in a good way.

In other words, if you hate it or resent it, it will follow you. And if you’re done with something/someone, do you really want it hanging over you and preventing your happiness?

Negative emotions such as anger, hatred, resentment, frustration, guilt, and pain carry a dense vibration; they keep you locked and engaged in a very painful dialogue with your past. As long as you harbor those emotions, you are not free to move forward into your future. Those emotions will keep you trapped in the place you’ve struggled to move away from.

The answer? Let go with love…

Translation? Learn the reasons why that person/situation was on your path. What did they bring to the table for you? What did they teach you? How did they make you better? Acknowledge all the good the relationship bestowed upon you and be grateful for the experience. It made you who you are. Bless it and let it go – but always let it go with love – kindly, constructively and compassionately – then your work is done.

Letting go with love sets you free because it assures that you have allowed yourself to get the learning from the experience and you pass that love along to the person/situation you walk away from. That love is kind and mutually supportive – it’s a win-win situation for everyone. As humans, to be heard and understood and to hear and understand another is the greatest gift we can offer each other. It’s the greatest gift that love offers.

So when you leave something/someone, leave it with love. That quality of love will sustain and nurture both of you as it heals the past and opens the doors to a much happier and healthier tomorrow.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.
Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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