Being Emotionally Needy

… needs from others.

Being emotionally independent needs ONLY from oneself.

If you continually need someone to do/say something in order for you to feel validated and secure, then you’re emotionally needy. Needing others in order to feel fulfilled within yourself is a losing strategy.

Others are NOT YOU. Others come and go into your life and their opinions are subjective. So to base your identity on the whim of outside opinion denies you of your ability to define yourself. If your own validation is contingent on someone/something outside of you, then it’s NOT YOURS.

When you need someone to do/say something to make you feel better about yourself, you’re GIVING YOUR POWER OVER TO THEM. When you give your power over to others to dictate how you feel, you lose your yourself.

Needing something outside of you tells you that YOU DO NOT HAVE IT.

Needing someone outside of you tells you that YOU ARE NOT IT.

No one has something that you do not already have. You have all you need inside yourself. Remember, no one has control over your life unless you give it to them. Once you give your control over to others, your happiness and identity is in their hands and your emotions are at their mercy.

Your power is yours. Your only consistency is within yourself. Don’t be emotionally needy. Take back control over your life and learn how to be emotionally independent within yourself. No more needing, it’s your life, you do not need anyone else to help you define any of it. Now, it’s just time to live it.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

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Being Alone Isn’t Being Lonely

… unless you make it that way.

These are two completely different concepts. Do you know the difference?

Being alone assumes one loves themselves and fully enjoys and appreciates themselves. They are comfortable in their skin, emotionally well-adjusted and although they enjoy the company of others, they are quite contented to be alone and find just as much happiness and fulfillment in their aloneness.

Being lonely is when you are not comfortable within yourself, when your own company isn’t quite enough to soothe or entertain you. It is when you require someone or something outside of you to make you happy because you cannot find that happiness within yourself. It is when you default to any type of distraction (drugs, alcohol, food, tv, sleep, etc…) to keep you from feeling your own pain and loneliness because the solitude of being on your own is simply too painful to bear.

Running from yourself will always keep you lonely. Embracing yourself will always keep you fulfilled. Regardless of the image staring back at you in the mirror, learn to love it, learn to appreciate it and learn to honor it every day. Self love is your best and only real companion.

Do you want to be alone or continually feel lonely? The choice is yours. But nothing changes until you learn to love your own company, if you don’t, how can you ever ask someone else to?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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You Can’t Keep What Isn’t Working

… it will be TAKEN AWAY from you.

And so it should be.

Why would you want to hold onto what isn’t working? It doesn’t serve you to hold onto it. But we do it all the time. We hold onto relationships and jobs that have outlived their usefulness in our lives. We get too comfortable with the routine even when it causes us unhappiness.

Maybe we hope we are wrong about them? Maybe we hope they will change? Maybe we are just not ready to admit that they aren’t working? Maybe we would feel like a failure if we were to admit they weren’t working?

Whatever the reason – holding onto what isn’t working in your life blocks your growth. It keeps you stuck and stagnant while you struggle to keep a hold of it. But here’s the deal… you can only hold onto what isn’t working in your life for so long until the universe takes it away from you – very abruptly.

You may have had a relationship or job ripped away from you. Rest assured that if you lose something (especially if you lost it suddenly or out of nowhere) that it was purposely meant to leave your hands at that moment. You may not be able to trust your own decisions, but you can always trust the universe to deliver the exact action that you require to bring your life into balance. In other words, you may not always get what you want, but you will always get what you need – whether or not you know you need it at the time.

Nothing in life is happening to you. It is happening FOR YOU to have a better life even if you cannot recognize that. If it isn’t working and you have held on too long, it will be ripped away from you – to help you make the decision you should have made for yourself months/years earlier.

Trust the process of your life to lead you to where you need to be. If something leaves your hands, let it go and trust that it will be replaced with something much better and something much more attuned to your needs and your growth. Don’t kid yourself. If it isn’t working, spare yourself the pain of having it taken from you – offer it up yourself.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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To Have The RIGHT Thing

… you have to say NO to the wrong thing.

You can’t have both.

And why would you want both?

In life, you have to let go of what isn’t working, in order to find what will.

If your hands are full with what isn’t working, you are miring yourself in a very heavy, negative vibration. That energy creates more negativity and stagnancy and keeps you stuck in a dark, unsatisfactory pattern.

When you finally let go of what isn’t working, you create space to attract a lighter, happier, more exciting vibration for what you actually do want.

Everything is energy. You can’t get to where you want by holding onto what you don’t. It doesn’t work that way.

Loosen your grip on what isn’t serving you, so your hand is free to reach higher for what it really wants.

Do not spend one more minute keeping yourself stuck. When you finally free yourself from the chains that bind you, you will wonder why you allowed them to suppress you for so long.

Life is too short to accept less than you deserve. Just Say No.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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Giving and Receiving

… must be in equal measure.

ALWAYS.

The name of the game is “boundaries.” Giving is a beautiful thing but if you GIVE TOO MUCH, there will always be an expectation for that level of giving. And if you are giving too much without giving to yourself, you will be depleting your own resources. So who wins here? Is it the one who plays the martyr and gives everything away and loses themselves in the process? No. In fact no one wins.

Any relationship is about balance – that goes for love relationships, parent-child relationships, working relationships, etc. Giving and receiving must be in equal measure. If you are giving to yourself while receiving from others, you are in beautiful place to give to others. But as soon as the balance of power shifts and everything is given to the other, then you are left with nothing and feel consequently exhausted, depleted, depressed, resentful and angry. But who set it up that way? No one took anything from you that wasn’t on offer. 

If you are unhappy with what you are receiving from others, STOP GIVING. Define your boundaries and express yourself. People respect people who respect themselves. People walk on doormats because they are put out for just that purpose. If you need more from someone, giving more to them will NOT get you there. Time to pull it back and put that energy into yourself. When you give to you, you have more to give to others. And when you give to you, others will recognize and respect that they need to give to you in order to continue to receive what they need from you. This is the essence of a healthy, balanced relationship.

No sense in being angry with your situation. You are where you are because you’ve allowed it. Giving and receiving must be in equal measure, if it’s not, it’s time to make another decision.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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To Be a Beautiful Snowflake

… you have to stand out in the COLD.

And no one likes to stand out in the cold. It usually means that you are alone and uncomfortable.

But the snowflake can only exist out in the cold. It is the only place that can support it.

We are all beautiful snowflakes – one-of-a-kind, original and unique. We can only thrive and be ourselves when we stand out in the cold and stand up for who we are. It is not always convenient and not always comfortable but always necessary in the evolution of our lives.

Being who you are means respecting your needs, wants, interests and fears – the whole package and standing up for it even if it is inconvenient and uncomfortable. There will even be times when you will be unpopular or even misunderstood.

No one should ever doubt themselves, their worth or their value. Everyone is unique and beautiful in their own right and everyone is worth fighting for. To truly be that beautiful snowflake, you have to stand out in the cold. It’s easy to stay inside in the warmth. It’s harder to take a stand and defend who you are by taking the road less traveled. After all, the cold isn’t for everyone, but the cold will certainly attract just the right ones to you. Do you want to be like everyone else and take the easy way out or do you want to work hard to take a stand and be yourself? The rest of your life awaits your decision. Who will you be?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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Need is Never Love

… it is NEED.

Only love is love.

But we confuse the two. We get into situations where we think because we love someone that we NEED them in order to feel whole. If you are needing someone to be something or do something for you to feel whole, then realize that that is never love – it is in fact only need.

Need is what we need to learn to give to ourselves. Once we take care of our own needs, then real love follows. But we have a habit of looking for love and then putting our needs on that love as if it is our love’s responsibility to fix us or save us from ourselves.

It is no one else’s responsibility to give you what you NEED. It is your responsibility to take care of your own needs and make sure you always have what you need in order to feel whole in yourself. When you can manage your needs effectively, real love has the opportunity to complement you, not complete you. When you manage your needs, you find that the love you attract is always able to give you what you need, because you have given it to yourself first.

For example, if you need someone to provide for you, learn to provide for yourself.

If you need someone to see you as successful, find success in yourself.

If you need someone to see you as beautiful, see the beauty in yourself.

Once you have honored those needs in yourself, real love will be able to provide you with so much more richness and happiness. So remember, need is need – it is never love.  Real love is the ability to give yourself what you need in order to feel whole. All you need is love – real love to be whole and it starts with yourself.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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Lose What Doesn’t Work

… to make room for what will.

We have a tendency to hold onto things and situations in our lives that do NOT work. It is almost as if we think that by holding tighter to what isn’t working that it will all of a sudden somehow become what we need? But this never happens.

In life we need space to create what we want/need and when that space is filled up with what isn’t working, it takes up valuable real estate and tells the universe that we do NOT want better.

You have to free yourself of what is not working so you can fill the space with what will work. Trying to force something to work NEVER makes it work. Taking a step back and giving the situation the space to breathe will allow the energies to re-align and bring about the highest outcome for all involved.

Sometimes in life you have to lose to win. Riding a broken bike will never win you the bikathon, but retiring the bike to the bike shoppe for a period of time will guarantee that you are ready to get back behind the starting line of the next one.

Life is too short to hold onto what doesn’t work for you. Let it go and love yourself enough to ask for better. Losing is the great arbiter of justice. By losing it all, you have half a chance of finding what will work better for you. Losing is definitely the winning strategy. Be happy to lose!

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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When You Love Yourself

… you WIN.

When you give to YOU, you have so much more to give to others – your light shines.

When you continually put others and their needs in front of yours, you suffer – it puts out your light.

Believe it or not, your only responsibility in life is to yourself. That is not to say that you become selfish. But it is to say that your goal in life should be to prioritize your needs and NOT push them to the back burner for anyone.

Our goal in life is to become healthy, happy and well-adjusted. This only happens by honoring ourselves and our boundaries with others. When you are good to YOU, your vibration raises, you feel fulfilled, contented, supported and inspired to live the best life you can. It is from that space that we can create happiness and success while also inspiring others make positive change in their lives.

But when we overextend ourselves and give everything away to others, (aka becoming the “martyr”) we take ourselves down. When you give yourself away, you lose YOU. Simple concept that we have yet to embrace.

No one told you that you are responsible for saving the world. You want to do good in the world? Start by saving yourself FIRST. Draw real boundaries between you and negative people who drag you down, take time out for yourself, treat yourself to anything that makes you happy. Honor YOU, and watch your life flourish. Like attracts like. When you are happy, your vibration raises and you continue to attract high vibrational people and situations into your life.

But when you are busy exploiting yourself for others, your vibration drops and you continue to attract lower vibrational situations and people.

How do you want to live? Learn to love yourself and make the most out of YOUR life. No one is responsible for your happiness but you, so make it a priority. 

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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