Posts Tagged ‘healing yourself’

… it’s a bully move to get someone to carry your pain.

Everyone carries a certain degree of pain, but not everyone is conscious of that burden. For some, guilt is their weapon of choice. When people are unable to fully process their pain and feel as if they are drowning in it, they may wield a portion of it in the form of guilt. And when you accept that guilt, you carry a bit of that pain for them. 

The problem with guilt is that it invites enabling. These behaviors work hand-in-hand. If you accept someone’s “guilt trip,” you give them power over you to bully you into carrying some of that pain. By doing so, you lighten their burden in the short term, but have succeeded in creating a deeper burden for them in the long term.

Pain never leaves you until you work through it. No one can do it for you.

Don’t think you are helping someone by being guilted into something. Guilt is a power play, it’s a bully move to get someone to carry your pain. The real hero is in penetrating the pain and transforming it into something much more beneficial. When you recognize that guilt is deconstructive — and you vow never to take it on — the person in pain will finally be free to heal.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

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