The Flip Side of Life

… is that it’s always changing.

If you’re unhappy with where you are, stick around — it’ll flip soon enough.

Nothing ever stays the same for very long and that’s a good thing. Change is inherent in our universe. What goes up, must come down.

Just like the coin has 2 sides, heads and tails, life has it’s ups and downs. Neither experience is better or worse, they’re just different and provide different learning. And ultimately, both sides need to be experienced equally.

Don’t get caught up bemoaning the tails. It’s a waste of your energy. It only keeps you attracting more tails in your life. Remember that for every tail experienced, you get “a-head”, literally.

There’s no good or bad in life, there are only different sides of the coin. Tails are the more challenging experiences that bring you amazing growth. Heads are the rewards for having gotten there. One naturally feels better, the other makes you better. But neither is better than the other.

You want both sides of the coin. They enrich you — they expand you — they push you to your limits — then reward you for your efforts. The flip side of life is that things are always changing and the coin is always flipping. Don’t get caught out lamenting the tails, without them, there would be no heads.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

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When The Dust Settles

… you can see more clearly.

But not until then.

We all go through really confusing situations from time to time. And while you are going through them, they never make sense. They are NOT supposed to. At the time, you just need to get through them. But once the dust settles, you can begin to understand just why that situation was happening to you.

Clarity only comes with time. Take a step back from those painful, confusing situations and put your energy into something else. All the wanting in the world for answers will NOT bring them any quicker. Situations resolve and lessons are learned when the timing is right.

Let the chaos around you settle down, don’t try and force the dust to settle either. You cannot control the amount of time you are caught in that dust storm. So best to put on your goggles and gear and trudge onwards. The important thing is that you nurture yourself along the way. All dust storms create uncertainty, confusion and of course bring up fear of the unknown. But as long as you know that going in to the drama, then you can remind yourself that the dust isn’t forever, it is just an illusion and before you know it, that the dust will settle and you will have complete clarity.

Life is a process and everyone gets caught in the dust storm; the question is how do you ride it out? Don’t take it too seriously, the dust will settle and you will see what was there for you all along. You don’t always get what you want in life, but you always get what you need and once the dust settles, you can see what that is.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

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When People Are Never Happy With You

…  they are unhappy with themselves.

We always want to be accepted and respected and sometimes we come up against people who it seems are never happy with anyone or anything. You know the type – the boss who you can never please; the partner who always wants you to be better; the friend who is always competing with you. Where does this come from?

It comes from an overall lack of contentedness in oneself. After all, how can you be happy with anyone if you are not happy with yourself first? This is where it begins.

If someone is feeling great about themselves, e.g. they have been losing weight, new hair cut, new job, new relationship, they are usually on top of the world and that helps them to relate better to other people. But when someone is feeling down and unhappy with their weight, sluggish, feeling not good enough at their job and with their performance in a relationship, then they find it extremely difficult to connect with others and see the beauty in others. But whose fault is that?

We tend to take on other’s unhappiness with themselves and make it about us. In those instances, it is NEVER about you. Remember you cannot control others and their opinions of you or themselves. That is not the name of the game. The name of the game is to BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF and feel good enough in your skin so that other people’s comments and opinions simply roll off you. They should never stick to you unless you want them to.

The next time you are feeling that someone is not treating you kindly and isn’t happy with you, send them love and realize that it is not you that they are unhappy with, it is themselves. For if they were truly happy with themselves, they would be able to communicate with you in a much more fair, kind and motivating fashion. If they are being unkind, unfair or mean, it is most likely about them. Never make other’s unhappiness with themselves about you. It is your happiness with yourself that is the key to setting you free. Are you happy with yourself?

 

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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You Have To Lose to Win

…as crazy as that sounds, it is very true.

This is a common theme in my counseling practice. It comes up time and time again. We fail to realize that situations that are not working and not making us happy will never somehow magically transform themselves to be what we need them to be. Sometimes we are just too close to the relationship to see what is really going on. A situation that is in a dysfunctional place will remain dysfunctional unless we take ourselves out of the equation so that the situation can heal appropriately.

This pattern shows up in many areas of our lives but especially in relationships. If you are in a relationship that is no longer supporting your highest good and the highest good of all people involved, then it is important to recognize that it may be time to take a small break from it. This is very hard for people to realize. We stay out of fear and desperation and we use force and anger to get what we want, but by doing so, we inadvertently end up beating the relationship to the ground. Relationships are like people, they need a break from time to time in order to gain proper perspective.

I always say that you have to lose what isn’t working to find something that will. Temporarily lose a toxic relationship now and you will win either a healthier version of that relationship once it has healed or you will win a better relationship with someone new. Either way you have to lose to win.

Beating a relationship to the ground by continually playing out the same drama and nagging will never heal an unhealthy dynamic. It will only contribute to a further demise of the relationship. If you are having problems in a relationship, love yourself and your partner enough to take a little breather from the dysfunction … once there is a degree of space, then both parties can fairly evaluate the relationship as a whole and and their role in it. That objectivity will lead to healing. I assure you if you “lose” the relationship now, you will only get a better version of it when you (or both of you) have a chance to heal from it. If you do not win a better version of that relationship, then no doubt, you will win a better relationship with someone new. Either way, you must lose to win in the end.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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