Posts Tagged ‘expectations’

… will only disappoint you.

We all have our own baseline expectations of how people should behave in given situations BUT expecting people to uphold those expectations is both unrealistic and unfair to everyone.

It’s ok to have high standards for personal decorum, but it’s not ok to put those standards on others.

Putting those standards on others sets them up to fail and sets you up to be disappointed. Let people be who they are and IF WHO THEY ARE DOESN’T WORK FOR YOU – MAKE ANOTHER DECISION, but don’t waste one moment hoping/expecting they’ll show up differently.

Expecting people to be other than who they are is a game you’ll NEVER win. It only sets you up for disappointment when they don’t come through. Recognize that you can’t fix people and you can’t change them, but you can learn to accept them for who they are and LET THEM OFF THE HOOK for everything they cannot be for you. 

People are messy and they come with their own limitations. Don’t get caught up in those limitations – they’ll only frustrate you. Remember that it isn’t your job to hold up a mirror to their lack of self-awareness. If they cannot see themselves, there isn’t anyway you’re going to be able to show them who they are.

Learn to know the cards you are holding – learn to know the person who is sitting right across from you and NEVER EXPECT THEM TO BE OTHER THAN WHO THEY ARE and you’ll never be disappointed.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Read Full Post »

th… then they are capable of giving.

You just set yourself up for disappointment.

Learn to be realistic. Not everyone is like you. Everyone reacts differently to situations.

When you expect that people will be the way you want them to be, or they way you think people “should be,” you rob them of their individual expression and set yourself up for unrealistic expectations of the situation.

Life goes much more smoothly when you learn to recognize who it is you are playing with and not expect them to show up differently. When you see people for who they really are, you can more accurately predict their behavior and more suitably come up with an appropriate response. But when you expect that they will behave in a more “logical” or anticipated way, you undermine your own ability to address the situation accordingly.

People are who they are. And that is nothing that you have to change, you only have to know it and learn to adapt your expectations to it. If you want better relationships with people, don’t kid yourself about who you are dealing with, be honest and learn to communicate with people in a way they can hear you, not in a way you think they should hear you.

Let people be who they are and learn how to expect just that from them. Don’t expect more than they’re capable of giving and you will find that you will no longer be disappointed by their behaviors, but will have learned to constructively work around them.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

Read Full Post »