The Bad Times Are The Best Times

… they make us better.

In fact, those bad times make us stronger, wiser and smarter. They push us to expand beyond our horizons and develop new skill sets. They don’t allow for complacency. They demand transformation.

The bad times are indeed the best times, but unfortunately many people only appreciate the good times. They want things to be easy and laced with rainbows and butterflies. But rainbows and butterflies don’t promote growth, they reward it.

Many of us shut down in the face of bad times. We numb ourselves from having to face the pain. But that only succeeds in keeping us stuck in a numbing void where we never grow.

Transformation is the path forward and although everyone wants to be transformed to some extent, no one wants to go through the pain of the transformational process. It’s never easy and generally requires sitting into the pain until it can be transmuted into higher frequencies.

The next time you want to feel victimized because you are stuck in some bad times, remember that the bad times are actually the best times, they make us stronger, better and wiser. They push us to become the being we are here to become. They push us to see what we are capable of. And the good times? Well, they are just the rewards for having done the work. Game on.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

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Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

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It’s Not About Competition Anymore

… it’s about collaboration.

We’re moving away from separatism and into collectivism. There’s strength in numbers and there’s power in community. If the sum of the whole is always greater than its individual parts, why then are we still operating solo? Why are we struggling individually to achieve creature comforts than could be easily had via cooperation?

There is a reason why indigenous people created community. They knew that if they had each other’s backs that they would naturally be more abundant, more efficient and more fulfilled. It’s a simple but profound concept.

There is a resurgence towards collectivism and community on our planet. It’s not about competition anymore, it’s about collaboration. In your life, how can you work in cooperation with others to create a sum greater than that of its parts? Who can you collaborate with to bring your gifts, talents and interests to life in a much more cohesive and meaningful way? How can you benefit from others’ experience and ideas and they by yours?

In our new world paradigm, our delivery system for success is collaboration and partnership. We’re not competing with each other anymore, we’re learning to work together to create a much better world. Are you in?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

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Shortcuts in Life

… take LONGER in the end.

There are no shortcuts to your own life experience.

Life builds onto itself everyday with every new experience and EVERY NEW EXPERIENCE IS NEEDED TO MOVE ONTO THE NEXT PHASE OF YOUR LIFE. 

Your life is a step-by-step amalgamation of your experiences, so if you don’t explore the wisdom of the phase you’re currently in, YOU’LL NEVER MOVE ON IN YOUR LIFE.

Don’t try to shortchange yourself by taking a shortcut, it’ll just leave you empty-handed and stuck in the same place. If you’re not moving forward in your life, ask yourself if you’ve sufficiently cleaned out your emotional attic? Every experience we have comes with its own attic we’d rather not open.

Think about it, you can’t renovate your upstairs if you still haven’t cleaned out your attic. If you don’t learn from and let go of old experiences, how can you move forward and build a new living situation for yourself? You can’t.

Shortcuts may seem like a great idea in the short run, but in the long run they leave you at a dead-end. Don’t look for the easy way out. The easy way out is just that — EASY, it’s NEVER better. 

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER,click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

 

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Transformation Gets Ugly

… before it gets better.

No one ever said making change is easy. Growth takes hard work.

To become a beautiful butterfly, you have to live through the dark phase of the cocoon.

Giving up and staying in the cocoon isn’t an option. The struggle to get free of the cocoon is the struggle of transformation. How badly do you want to transform your life? Accepting the status quo will never get you out of that cocoon. To get to the light, often times you have to fight your way through the darkness.

Transformation is a lifelong process; it doesn’t happen overnight. Transformation is a series of steps that tend to make things appear worse before they can become better. It’s like any detox process, in order to cleanse the body and heal, the infection or toxins need to first rise to the surface before they can leave the body. So the darkness is temporarily exaggerated before the light of transformation can prevail.

To become something great, you have to do something great. Being great means using your inner strength to fight your way through your own cocoon of darkness. Remember giving up is never an option. Just when the catepillar was ready to give up his struggle, he transformed into a beautiful butterfly and flew away.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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Life is Never Black or White

… it’s always in the shades of grey.

We’re a solution-driven species and hence we feel very uncomfortable when we do NOT have all the answers.

But life isn’t about knowing all the answers. It’s about exploring the depth/richness behind the range of ambiguity within all 5,000 shades of grey, because as humans we are much more complex than just being black or white. There is much more to our emotional wellbeing, our intelligence and our rational thinking then just black and white.

Black or white is an easy label but living life in the grey pushes you further. In other words, needing guarantees in life keeps you limited; being comfortable with uncertainty/exploration keeps you expanding into yourself.

Don’t stop at black or white; you can go further in the grey areas. There is much more to explore in the realm of uncertainty than there ever is in the realm of certainty. To be the best YOU, you always want to explore the levels of grey – push yourself further, take chances, take risks, and move out of your comfort zone. Being in the grey area shouldn’t be scary, it should be embraced and savored for all it’s potential.

Guarantees don’t make you safe in life, they keep you stuck and narrowly defined. Be comfortable within yourself to navigate all 5,000 shades of uncertainty. Then once you have sufficiently explored the varying shades of grey, you will be ready to define your own unique shade and it’s sure to NOT be black or white. How could it be?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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Feeling Stuck

… is an indication that you are NOT LEARNING.

Therefore you are prohibited from moving forward – kinda like being held back at school.

You would only feel stuck in the space you are in if you hadn’t yet learned what needed to be learned in that phase in order to progress to the next phase. Life builds on itself and lessons build on themselves. With every lesson learned in a life, you move up and you move onto the next phase of your life. But so many of us stay in cycles repeating the same behaviors and expecting a different result while wondering why we are stuck?

Feeling stuck in your life is very purposeful. It is meant to make you feel uncomfortably trapped in your situation so that you will shed the light of consciousness on it and bring about the change it requires to transform. You are not meant to fall into the “stuckness” but to look for answers on how to “get unstuck.” Just remember, if you do not initiate a change yourself, change will never happen.

So ask yourself, why are things not changing? What am I not seeing? What am I not getting? What behaviors and patterns might I be repeating that are keeping me in this frustrating cycle? What might this situation be trying to teach me?

If you are feeling stuck, learn to objectively look at your situation and get the lesson from it and get out so you can truly move on with your life. You are not a victim of your situation – no one is keeping you stuck but you. When you open your eyes and learn to show up differently, you will have a different result and one which will naturally free you from the chains that bind you.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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Sorry Doesn’t Cut It

… CHANGING the behavior does.

Sorry is just a word; albeit an important word that accepts responsibility for a hurtful or inappropriate action. But let’s be honest, it’s just a word – and a word can never change an action.

Sorry is nice but when it is NOT followed up with better behavior, it becomes manipulative. Sorry is a way of gaining someone’s trust and loyalty, but if the behavior remains unchanged, sorry just becomes a placating and deceitful sentiment. Furthermore, you can only hear “sorry” so many times before it no longer has any resonance for you.

If someone is truly sorry for their actions, they STOP the behavior and they become a better version of themselves. If they are not truly sorry for their actions or they are just acting unconsciously, their actions will unfortunately continue. “Sorry” only goes so far, if the behavior remains unchanged, people shut down to it and walk away, understandably so.

Sorry doesn’t make things better. Changing the behavior does. Don’t try to manipulate someone by placating them with “sorry.” If you do, you’ll be the one who is sorry when they give up on you and finally walk away.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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Fixing People Never Works

… getting out of their way does.

After all, if you can’t fix them, you don’t want to get cut on their broken edges.

We tend to have expectations of people. We believe in “who they can be,” not necessarily who they have chosen to be. But it’s not your job to get people to change. Your wanting to change them (albeit for the own personal benefit) isn’t enough to get people to change. People have to feel that they are ready to make change and then embrace their own process to do so. Until then your words will fall on deaf ears and will only render you frustrated and create resentment on their part – everyone loses.

If you really want to “fix people,” help them to see why they may be broken. Highlight aspects of their behavior and kindly bring it to their attention and then STEP BACK. That might mean take yourself out of the equation for a bit so that they can do the work. If you stay in their life, they may not feel the need to do the work. But your absence may encourage them to reach higher. When you give people space, they generally find their own way towards change. When you sit on top of them, no doubt they will resist your efforts.

Choosing to stay in their life is fine as long as you detach from your need for them to change. You can’t make people be who you want them to be or be who you think they should be. You have to let people be who they are. And in the process of giving them that space, the seeds you plant with them will hopefully blossom over time.

You want to fix people? Teach them to plant better seeds for themselves and then GET OUT OF THEIR GARDEN. Let them nurture their own growth. And maybe one day, they will share their harvest with you.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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Sleepwalking Your Way Through Your Life

… will always leave you in a place you do NOT want to be.

How could it leave you anywhere else?

No one consciously sets out to sleepwalk. It is an unconscious programming – an unconscious walk throughout your life. If you are NOT consciously looking at your behavior and how you are showing up in life, then you are sleepwalking your way through it and most likely will wake up in a place you didn’t mean to be in.

Why is that the case? Because sleepwalking is unconscious. And only conscious behavior can bring you to where you want to be in your life. Sleepwalking only purports negative programming as it encourages repetitive deconstructive cycles – as in nighttime eating and dangerous walking, etc. Sleepwalking doesn’t get you ahead. It keeps you stuck in negative cycles.

If you are not looking at your behavioral patterns and questioning how it is you got to where you are in your life, then you are NOT doing the work of conscious walking. You are most likely reacting unconsciously to what is going on for you and subsequently sleepwalking your way through it.

You can keep blaming everyone else for the bad that happens in your life or you can wake up today from your debilitating slumber and realize that you have brought it all on yourself and decide that you want to change it. People who sleepwalk blame others for waking up naked outside. People who are awake acknowledge that they have some issues that are causing them to want to take off their clothes and run naked through the streets in their sleep and as a result, they begin to do the work on healing those issues so they can break the pattern.

Wake up, your life is too short to sleepwalk it away. Get back into the driver’s seat of your life and vow to identify your patterns and make the decision to address your issues more consciously. Personal transformation starts with the recognition that you want to WAKE UP TO YOUR LIFE. It is happening right here, right now and the sooner you can wake up and recognize that the decisions you may have made thus far are not serving you, the sooner you can make decisions that will better serve you.

Are you ready to wake up and own your life or are you still sleepwalking? Any time you are ready to stop hitting the snooze button, your life will truly begin.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

 

 

 

 

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Taking The Easy Way Out

… assures you that things will get HARDER later on.

Don’t kid yourself, there are no short cuts in life. If you come up to a challenging situation in a love relationship or at work, etc., it is because it is time for you to work through it.

Nothing ever shows up in our lives without a reason for being. And challenges in our lives always show up on cue. But you always have a choice. You can either walk the challenge, see it through and grow beyond it or you can accept the “easier way out” which will also “coincidentally” appear at the same time. Hence you get to choose your path. Depending on your ability to know yourself and to know what you need to work on at this stage of your life will determine which direction you take and subsequently determine your level of happiness.

Don’t think the easy way out means easier. Easy very often becomes boring, frustrating and leaves us feeling unchallenged, uninspired and stagnant as time goes by.

Accepting the challenging route is no doubt more challenging, but it assures that you rise to the occasion and you grow and you become more of the being you are here to become. Challenges ALWAYS make us better. Challenges are the knock at the door that say, “hey, hi are you ready to play?”

Ask yourself if you are ready to play? Are you ready to be better? If you are here to become the best YOU you can, then grab that challenge. It is the lifeboat that will take you to the life you want. Anything else deemed “easier” will only provide very short term gratification and then quickly drop you into a deep low where you feel stuck and unhappy because you have avoided your own growth.

You always have a choice. Choose wisely. Learn to go deep. Learn to do the work. Learn how to live the happiest life you are here to live. You only learn it by overcoming those challenges NEVER hiding from them.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

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