Never Expect People To Be Other Than Who They Are

… and you’ll NEVER be disappointed.

It’s a beautiful gift to be able to see the potential in people – to be able to see what they’re capable of and to believe in them (even when they don’t believe in themselves).

But just because you see the potential in someone doesn’t mean they themselves are ready to rise to that potential. Not everyone is ready to embody the idealized version of them you might be holding. Expectations destroy relationships. Never expect someone to be other than who they are. It’s unfair to them and it’s unfair to you.

When people show you who they are, BELIEVE THEM. And don’t expect them to show up otherwise. It doesn’t serve you to EXPECT that people act in a certain way. It only sets you up for disappointment when they don’t.

Stop believing in people’s potential and start believing in how they are showing up in this moment. Because that is all you have. Nothing else is real.

The easiest way to destroy a relationship is to expect someone to act in a way that is not authentic to them. Let your expectations go. Stop trying to change people. People have to want to change on their own.

Let people be who they are and if who they are doesn’t work for you, make another decision. But don’t spend one more second trying to make them into who you think they should be. When people tell you who they are, believe them and never expect them to be other than who they are and you will NEVER be disappointed.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

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Giving To Those Who Cannot Give Back

… leaves you feeling drained and depleted.

We call them “energy vampires” – they take and take and never learn to give back in equal measure.

Some of us make the mistake of giving and giving – physically, mentally and emotionally to others and thinking that it will somehow come back to us? But it doesn’t always work that way. Givers are givers and takers tend to be takers. That doesn’t make them bad; it just makes them different from you. Not everyone is capable of giving to the same extent that you might be.

Some people are just naturally capable of GIVING MORE to others and some people are naturally accustomed to RECEIVING IT. Ask yourself how you show up in your relationships and then realize who you are and what level of giving you require in a harmonious relationship and DON’T ACCEPT LESS.

People will always take what is on offer so STOP GIVING if it is depleting you. It doesn’t win you any prizes. It isn’t necessary to continually support an energy vampire if they do not know how to support you in return. You never want to prioritize someone who makes you an option.

Even the sweetest, most kind-hearted and sensitive beings can be energy vampires if they do not know how to show up for you the way you need them to. Again, that doesn’t make them bad, it just makes them NOT RIGHT FOR YOU. Look for someone “in your league” – someone who deeply cares for you and for your wellbeing and someone WHO KNOWS HOW TO SHOW YOU THAT by SHOWING UP FOR YOU. In other words, look for someone who matches your level of giving. If it is “all about them,” they are most likely not at your level.

There’s no reason to be resentful. Don’t hold it against someone for not giving to you; most of them are simply incapable of doing so. A better question to be asking is – “why you have been giving someone so many chances to disappoint you?” It isn’t about someone NOT GIVING BACK TO YOU in as much as it’s about WHY YOU ARE CONTINUALLY GIVING TO SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T GIVE THE SAME IN RETURN.

People don’t change. Zebras don’t change their stripes because yours are prettier. It’s not enough enticement. Stop giving to those who cannot give back to you and start GIVING THEM UP. Give back to yourself the energy you put into them and before you know it, you will attract a much higher level soul who will be able to give back to you in equal measure. It’s all in the giving that we receive.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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You Get To Where You Want To Be

… by being right where you are.

How else could you get there?

We’re not always where we want to be in our lives – that’s a given. But how can we get there? It’s very simple – by first acknowledging that where you are is NO LONGER WORKING FOR YOU.  It’s about taking that first step and acknowledging the need for change – that step will change EVERYTHING for you because it unlocks the energy of change.

You do not have to have all the answers in life. You have only to decide that where you are is no longer working and that you need to make a change. When you make that decision, the universe will conspire with you to help bring you the changes you need and deserve.

Life is a series of steps designed to get you to where you need to be. You will never be able to define your “end game” up front; so don’t even try. That’s not how it works. Your life is a step-by-step process of exploring yourself to find out. You only need to be open to the exploration.

Remember you do NOT have to know where you are going – you just need to plan your NEXT MOVE and then there will be another move right after that, and then another one, and then another, and so on… Before you know it, you will be deposited exactly where you need to be and by when you needed to be there.

But how do you know what that first step is? You don’t. And furthermore, it doesn’t matter what it is as long as you take one step away from what isn’t working. The answer is always in your heart, not your head. Listen to your intuition – if you know you are unhappy, then take a step away from your situation. And if there is something you desire or have been dreaming about, then take one step towards it. This way you will unlock the energy in the direction of the change you want to create; then opportunities and people will present themselves on queue.

Staying stuck somewhere you do not want to be keeps you locked there. Acknowledging where you are and making that first step away from it all opens all the doors. Life is about choices. What choice will you make next?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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Sorry Doesn’t Cut It

… CHANGING the behavior does.

Sorry is just a word; albeit an important word that accepts responsibility for a hurtful or inappropriate action. But let’s be honest, it’s just a word – and a word can never change an action.

Sorry is nice but when it is NOT followed up with better behavior, it becomes manipulative. Sorry is a way of gaining someone’s trust and loyalty, but if the behavior remains unchanged, sorry just becomes a placating and deceitful sentiment. Furthermore, you can only hear “sorry” so many times before it no longer has any resonance for you.

If someone is truly sorry for their actions, they STOP the behavior and they become a better version of themselves. If they are not truly sorry for their actions or they are just acting unconsciously, their actions will unfortunately continue. “Sorry” only goes so far, if the behavior remains unchanged, people shut down to it and walk away, understandably so.

Sorry doesn’t make things better. Changing the behavior does. Don’t try to manipulate someone by placating them with “sorry.” If you do, you’ll be the one who is sorry when they give up on you and finally walk away.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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Accepting Responsibility For Your Life

… empowers you.

Making others responsible for it, destroys you.

It doesn’t matter what happens to you in life, you own it. It’s your life, how are you going to make it better?

We call it the blame game. Blaming others for where you are in your life, doesn’t help you live it. No one is responsible for your life, but you. It’s no one else’s job to make sure you are happy or you are living your life the way you should be; it’s your job.

When you accept responsibility for where you are in your life, you are fully in charge of your destiny and where you are headed. You are in complete control. You are empowered to make the right decisions for yourself and because of that your life flows harmoniously.

But when you blame others for where you are in your life, you miss the opportunity to grow through your experience and evolve accordingly. And when you are blaming others for where you are in your life, you will never be able to get to where you need to be.

Being responsible is a responsibility and unfortunately not everyone is ready for it. Accepting responsibility for your life is a given. No one else can do it for you. If you are unhappy with any aspect of your life, change it. Don’t waste your time blaming someone else for it. Your life only begins the day you are able to fully accept responsibility for it. When you are ready, the rest of your life is ready to begin.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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If It’s Not Working in 2015

… leave it there.

No need to carry it forward.

New years are just that – they are for having A NEW YEAR. But we make it a habit of packing up what didn’t work this year and slinging it over our shoulders and bringing it forward into the new year – as if it will somehow magically change? It doesn’t. It is the same dysfunction just another year later and another year wasted.

If a part of your life is consistently not working and keeping you back, then the new year ahead is the time to make change. Resolutions are set to free us from the binds that tie us.

Take stock of what isn’t working this year, so you can find what will. Don’t sit back and watch your life idly pass you by. Every new year is a year to make change and create the life of your dreams.

If it hasn’t been working in 2015 (and in years past), it will most likely NOT work in 2016. Cut your losses and change direction. Decide what you can leave in this current year and create the space to bring in new energy. You already know what things look like this year and if you do not create the space for change, next year will be an obvious repeat. Do you want to make it a happy new year? Then truly move forward and make it A NEW YEAR.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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Feeling Overwhelmed

… is always MORE OVERWHELMING than the actual tasks at hand.

Nothing is ever as challenging as we think it’s going to be.

Whether we have too much on our plates, or are feeling in-over-our-heads with a project(s), we inadvertently tend to build up anxiety over getting it all done/achieving it on time, etc… We naturally default to feeling overwhelmed, but the overall feelings of “being overwhelmed” are much more overwhelming than if we were to just sit down and work out the logistics of doing the project and/or setting the schedule. Once you shed the light of consciousness on your anxieties, you can see that it is never as bad as you think it will be.

Instead of worrying about how to tackle a project and pushing it off for weeks feeling overwhelmed, sit down and start it. You will soon see that it is not as bad as you thought. Nothing is as difficult as are the feelings of overwhelm. Things are never as difficult as we think they will be. But we spend countless amounts of energy fretting over it and that is the energy that we could be channeling into something more constructive.

Take back your power. Don’t give it away to worry about something that needs to get done. Live one moment at a time and by the time you get up to doing what you have been feeling overwhelmed with, you realize it isn’t so bad after all and much easier than you thought.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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When You Leave Something

… leave it with LOVE.

Otherwise you’ll be attached to it. And not in a good way.

In other words, if you hate it or resent it, it will follow you. And if you’re done with something/someone, do you really want it hanging over you and preventing your happiness?

Negative emotions such as anger, hatred, resentment, frustration, guilt, and pain carry a dense vibration; they keep you locked and engaged in a very painful dialogue with your past. As long as you harbor those emotions, you are not free to move forward into your future. Those emotions will keep you trapped in the place you’ve struggled to move away from.

The answer? Let go with love…

Translation? Learn the reasons why that person/situation was on your path. What did they bring to the table for you? What did they teach you? How did they make you better? Acknowledge all the good the relationship bestowed upon you and be grateful for the experience. It made you who you are. Bless it and let it go – but always let it go with love – kindly, constructively and compassionately – then your work is done.

Letting go with love sets you free because it assures that you have allowed yourself to get the learning from the experience and you pass that love along to the person/situation you walk away from. That love is kind and mutually supportive – it’s a win-win situation for everyone. As humans, to be heard and understood and to hear and understand another is the greatest gift we can offer each other. It’s the greatest gift that love offers.

So when you leave something/someone, leave it with love. That quality of love will sustain and nurture both of you as it heals the past and opens the doors to a much happier and healthier tomorrow.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

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Woulda – Shoulda – Coulda

… but you didn’t.

So move on.

Hindsight is always 20/20 but your sight in the moment is all that matters. When you make a decision, you make it with the best information you have at hand in that moment. And that is really all that matters. That is all you can do.

Circumstances and situations change all the time as people use their free will. All you can do is to acknowledge that you made the best possible decision in that moment given the information you had at hand and LET IT GO.

You cannot control every outcome. You cannot outsmart the universe. Situations unfold quite purposefully to bring you to where you need to be in your life – whether you recognize that or not.

In the moment you make a decision, recognize that at that moment in time, you made the BEST DECISION. If you made that decision from a calm, centered space and it was a decision that felt authentic to you and satisfied your needs, wants and an innate understanding of your truth, then you made the RIGHT DECISION in that moment. End of story.

It doesn’t matter what the future brings… hindsight is always 20/20 and there is always a reason why we are NOT given it upfront. If we knew all the answers before we made the decisions, we wouldn’t be learning and evolving.

Your life is always unfolding in front of you. If a decision you made seems to no longer serve you or appears to be the wrong decision for you, then it is time to make another decision. Don’t regret the decisions you make, only regret your inability to revise the equation and make amendments to it.

Life is not static… decisions are meant to evolve and grow with you. “Woulda Shoulda Coulda” is the song for victims. When you are truly empowered and in charge of your life, you realize that all is happening exactly the way it is supposed to be happening and you are being asked whether or not you can roll with the changes.

Make your decisions and DON’T LOOK BACK. Your decision was perfect in that moment. But in this new moment, you might want to readjust it slightly in order to account for your own personal evolution. Hindsight might always be 20/20 but your insight in this moment is always PERFECT.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

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Being Vulnerable

… takes real COURAGE.

And only a small few have it.

In essence, being vulnerable is the key to your PERSONAL POWER.

Ironic… right?

Our society is obsessed with “being strong” and overcoming fears and inadequacies by overcompensating with ego. But that isn’t real courage. It’s fake. It’s a false sense of identity.

Hiding behind your ego is inauthentic to who you really are. It’s just a wall or facade that you put up for others to see while you cowardly hide behind it, with the intention of hiding all your insecurities, fears and failures.

But here’s the deal… real courage comes from inside – it is an inner strength and it’s dervived from your ability to be authentic to yourself, to be real, to acknowledge your weaknesses and recognizing that through them, your greatest strengths lie.

The ability to admit your faults, your fears, your inadequacies is what makes you truly courageous. In a world of cowards, those who can look in the mirror and own who they are, are the ones who will grow to address those faults, fears and inadequacies. Through this process, real growth and personal transformation occurs. Without this process, we become a slave to the ego and never heal our pain. We continue to mask our pain and push it down until it destroys us.

You don’t become courageous by being a coward and hiding your vulnerabilities from the world. Courage must be earned by fearlessly confronting your demons and being strong enough within yourself to wraggle them to the ground.

It is easy to sit by and pretend you do not have issues and hide them behind a thick, fancy, shiny patina. But really the question is… can you be vulnerable? Can you go deep within yourself and ask yourself who you really are and be able to unearth the negative patterns you have been unconsciously playing out? It’s only through that deep difficult work that one truly earns the title of true courage. It’s the ultimate bravery. Ignorance might be bliss…but it is NEVER courage. Being vulnerable is the only real courage.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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