Posts Tagged ‘dating’

… loves WITHOUT conditions.

Anything else is conditional love which is predicated on meeting specific conditions…

Are they educated? check.

Are they the right age? check.

Are they the right body weight? check.

Do they make enough money? check.

Do they have the right social standing? check.

Will they make me look good in public? check.

But what if they didn’t tick these boxes? What then? What if you loved them anyway? Now there’s a dilemma.

But here’s what you need to know…

Conditional love is superficial. Unconditional love is eternal.

Conditional love falls apart when the conditions cease to exist. Unconditional love is free to grow because it’s not predicated on a condition.

Conditional love is choked by it’s own expectations. Unconditional love doesn’t have expectations, but remains open and hopeful.

Conditional love is about “ticking all the boxes.” Unconditional love abandons all requirements.

Conditional love looks to have all its needs met. Unconditional love looks to meet all needs.

Conditional love is selfish, self-centered and unilateral. Unconditional love is selfless and giving.

Conditional love is emotionally immature. Unconditional love is built on maturity and wisdom.

Conditional love is rigid and doesn’t like to take risks. Unconditional love is flexible and lives outside its comfort zone.

Conditional love suffocates under self-imposed rules. Unconditional love is freeing and knows no boundaries.

Conditional love is what you think you want. Unconditional love is what you never knew you wanted.

Unconditional love sneaks up on you — it shows up through a back door while you are at the front door waiting for something else.

Unconditional love is what was standing in front of you all along while you were busy ticking all your boxes and evaluating all your options.

Unconditional love is usually “the one that got away” while you were busy searching out the perfect conditions for it.

Unconditional love loves unconditionally. Anything else just doesn’t cut it. Ask yourself — how do you love?

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th-1… keeps you alone.

It doesn’t keep you safe.

When we are fearful, we put up walls. We put up walls to protect ourselves from being hurt – from being judged – from being misunderstood – from being “found out,” etc… Our walls are personas that we create for ourselves and we hide behind them. Sometimes we stay behind them for so long that we forget who we really are behind those walls.

We put walls in place to “protect” ourselves but ironically it does the opposite – it distances us from real connections with others. But in life, you only know who you are in relationship to another human being, so if you are hiding behind a wall, you are not helping yourself to grow and evolve.

Walls keeps us “walled off” from being who we really are because the wall demands that our focus is on the facade, not any deeper. When you define yourself by your wall, it can give you an appearance of not being real, lacking depth or appearing fake and superficial, an “empty shell,” etc…

If you want to be in a real relationship, you have to take your wall down and invite someone into your castle. Taking your wall down demands that you can be vulnerable, genuine and REAL with yourself. Why is it important to be all that? Because the pain of being vulnerable is NOTHING compared to the pain of losing yourself to a wall.

Walls don’t protect you, they keep you locked in a prison of your own creation. Let your guard down and let the walls come down, let the sunshine in. Nobody loves a wall, but they can love the beautiful being inside the wall. If you want to be in a real relationship, let someone into your castle, take down your wall so you can have a true connection. When others see you for who you really are, not the wall you have put up, you become REAL.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

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