Posts Tagged ‘creating happiness in a relationship’

…don’t ask, and you will surely never get.

Translation… we do NOT get what we do NOT ask for.  It is as simple as that.

So often we make concessions for others’ bad behavior. Maybe we do not want to rock the boat with a boss or employee? Maybe we are too afraid to speak our minds with our significant other or friend? You only get what you need by putting it out there. In my experience, people are not mind-readers. If their behavior is not yielding the results you require to be in a given partnership, then you have a responsibility to yourself to ask for what it is you need.

Many of us tend to not speak up for fear of being rejected. We prefer to put other people’s happiness and comfort levels ahead of our own. It seems a safer bet than to rock the boat and risk potential consequences. But if you take a back seat to other’s happiness, you will never be in the driver seat of your own life, and will always be at the mercy of other people’s mood swings and outbursts. If you value yourself and your happiness and wellbeing, you will always put your needs front and center. After all, it is only when you give the oxygen mask to yourself that you have enough to give to those you love.

Getting what you want in life starts with loving yourself and knowing you deserve better than what you are currently receiving. If you do not speak out, not only do you lose by not receiving what you deeply desire and deserve but your partner loses a valuable opportunity to grow in relationship to you. Learning and evolving works both ways. When we deprive ourselves of what we need, generally we deprive others of the opportunity to truly know us and learn to give us what we actually need. It is a lose-lose for both parties.

When you choose you, everyone wins. Put your needs first, ask for what you deserve, do not accept less and watch the scales re-balance. We do not get what we do not ask for. What are you holding out for?

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