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Posts Tagged ‘chameleons’

… will only disappoint you.

We all have our own baseline expectations of how people should behave in given situations BUT expecting people to uphold those expectations is both unrealistic and unfair to everyone.

It’s ok to have high standards for personal decorum, but it’s not ok to put those standards on others.

Putting those standards on others sets them up to fail and sets you up to be disappointed. Let people be who they are and IF WHO THEY ARE DOESN’T WORK FOR YOU – MAKE ANOTHER DECISION, but don’t waste one moment hoping/expecting they’ll show up differently.

Expecting people to be other than who they are is a game you’ll NEVER win. It only sets you up for disappointment when they don’t come through. Recognize that you can’t fix people and you can’t change them, but you can learn to accept them for who they are and LET THEM OFF THE HOOK for everything they cannot be for you. 

People are messy and they come with their own limitations. Don’t get caught up in those limitations – they’ll only frustrate you. Remember that it isn’t your job to hold up a mirror to their lack of self-awareness. If they cannot see themselves, there isn’t anyway you’re going to be able to show them who they are.

Learn to know the cards you are holding – learn to know the person who is sitting right across from you and NEVER EXPECT THEM TO BE OTHER THAN WHO THEY ARE and you’ll never be disappointed.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

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