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Posts Tagged ‘break-ups’

… move with it or it’ll take you out.

Life is in constant motion, shifting and changing. As humans, we have to move with those changes, we cannot resist them. Resisting change is akin to back pedaling through our lives.

In life, always remain fluid. Move like the waters, yet be aware when the tide is changing and act accordingly. Your life is not a constant, it ebbs and flows in cycles and the more conscious you are, the better you are at anticipating those shifts in the tide.

Life is about flowing with the currents, observing the energy and respecting the direction in which it wants to move. If the tide is moving in a certain direction, heed it, life is guiding you towards more tranquil waters.

Respect the cycles of your relationships and jobs — nothing stays the same. Learn to identify the changes in the tides so you don’t get stuck somewhere you don’t want to be.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

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If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

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th-1… you can see the stars.

They are always there.

They are those bright spots in your life that will guide you onwards on your path… if you can see them.

The stars are always there, but do we ever see them? We are used to focusing on the darkness in our lives but we do not realize that with all darkness is the potential to see the brightest stars. The stars are only visible through that darkness. We live in a world of opposites – you have to be in the darkness to be able to see the light of the stars. But we always stop and get stuck in the darkness.

When the darkness of your life descends upon you, time to open your eyes and see the stars that are all around you. Those stars are the people and situations that have the innate ability to help you shine. They are always there if you can just learn to adjust your eyes.

You will always see what you want to see. Do you want to see the darkness or do you want to see the opportunities for light? Learn what your stars are and learn how to find them in the darkness. They are always there to guide you and lead you through your darkest night. Your ability to re-adjust your eyes to see that light will help you to transform the fear of the darkness into the optimism of that shining star.

Life is too short to hide from the darkness. Open your eyes and allow those stars to guide you on your path. You are never alone. When you are in the darkness, trust that those stars will guide you on your way. Their light will never dim.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

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th… then they are capable of giving.

You just set yourself up for disappointment.

Learn to be realistic. Not everyone is like you. Everyone reacts differently to situations.

When you expect that people will be the way you want them to be, or they way you think people “should be,” you rob them of their individual expression and set yourself up for unrealistic expectations of the situation.

Life goes much more smoothly when you learn to recognize who it is you are playing with and not expect them to show up differently. When you see people for who they really are, you can more accurately predict their behavior and more suitably come up with an appropriate response. But when you expect that they will behave in a more “logical” or anticipated way, you undermine your own ability to address the situation accordingly.

People are who they are. And that is nothing that you have to change, you only have to know it and learn to adapt your expectations to it. If you want better relationships with people, don’t kid yourself about who you are dealing with, be honest and learn to communicate with people in a way they can hear you, not in a way you think they should hear you.

Let people be who they are and learn how to expect just that from them. Don’t expect more than they’re capable of giving and you will find that you will no longer be disappointed by their behaviors, but will have learned to constructively work around them.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

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th-1… it will be TAKEN AWAY from you.

And so it should be.

Why would you want to hold onto what isn’t working? It doesn’t serve you to hold onto it. But we do it all the time. We hold onto relationships and jobs that have outlived their usefulness in our lives. We get too comfortable with the routine even when it causes us unhappiness.

Maybe we hope we are wrong about them? Maybe we hope they will change? Maybe we are just not ready to admit that they aren’t working? Maybe we would feel like a failure if we were to admit they weren’t working?

Whatever the reason – holding onto what isn’t working in your life blocks your growth. It keeps you stuck and stagnant while you struggle to keep a hold of it. But here’s the deal… you can only hold onto what isn’t working in your life for so long until the universe takes it away from you – very abruptly.

You may have had a relationship or job ripped away from you. Rest assured that if you lose something (especially if you lost it suddenly or out of nowhere) that it was purposely meant to leave your hands at that moment. You may not be able to trust your own decisions, but you can always trust the universe to deliver the exact action that you require to bring your life into balance. In other words, you may not always get what you want, but you will always get what you need – whether or not you know you need it at the time.

Nothing in life is happening to you. It is happening FOR YOU to have a better life even if you cannot recognize that. If it isn’t working and you have held on too long, it will be ripped away from you – to help you make the decision you should have made for yourself months/years earlier.

Trust the process of your life to lead you to where you need to be. If something leaves your hands, let it go and trust that it will be replaced with something much better and something much more attuned to your needs and your growth. Don’t kid yourself. If it isn’t working, spare yourself the pain of having it taken from you – offer it up yourself.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

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when relationship ends… you are supposed to MOVE ON.

It doesn’t matter how or why it ends, it only matters that you acknowledge the ending and take the learning with you.

Relationships are opportunities for us to grow and learn. When you learn what you have needed to learn from each other, then the relationship ends. It is time to start a new chapter to practice your learning in a new situation.

Now, that does NOT mean that the relationship will never come back to you in a newer, healed form later on. But it does tell you that for now, your work with each other is complete.

Problems arise when we do not let go of the relationship, but hold on out of fear of need or fear of being alone. When you hold on too long, it only creates frustration, pain and stagnation and ultimately will keep all happiness and growth from you.

When a relationship ends, the most important thing you can do is to be strong and learn to graciously accept the new changes. Trust in the universe to bring you to where you need to be. If your relationship was not meant to end, it wouldn’t be ending. If it is ending, it is because it is time for it to do so.

Don’t drive your relationship into the ground by holding on too long. Everything happens for a reason and despite the fact that you may feel it is not yet time for your relationship to be ending, the universe may just have other plans for you. Learn to trust and learn to find the “good” in “goodbye,” for it is ALWAYS there.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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karma-1… as long as you’re still on it.

If there is negativity between you and someone else, then you are karmically connected to that person whether you want to be or not. Did they harm you, humiliate you or slight you in any way? Are you angry with them or hurt by their actions? If so, you are karmically bound to them until that karma is repaid or worked through somehow.

How do you work through it, you might ask? Working through karma is NEVER about winning or getting even. If you are still feeling the need to do that, you haven’t gotten the lesson yet. Do you really want to be free of this person? Then learn to free yourself from the karmic wheel. Freedom does NOT come from fighting and winning, it comes from FORGIVENESS – forgiving yourself as well as forgiving the other person.

Every negative situation you encounter helps you to be a better person. Once you can understand what you were meant to learn from the experience and how it made you grow into a better person, then you can forgive the situation and eventually forgive the other person thus freeing you from karma’s grip. That is the space where real freedom and healing takes place.

Balancing karma establishes harmony in relationships. You do not have to balance karma by playing the “tit for tat” game. You can rise above that game and jump ahead to your own freedom by forgiving yourself and forgiving the person/situation.

Forgiveness frees you from the karmic wheel. Trying to get even keeps you stuck on it. The wheel of karma will always keep spinning. Ask yourself if you want to be on it?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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images… you can see where you are.

When you are with others, you have NO idea.

Being alone at any stage in your life represents an enforced separation. It is the universe’s way of giving you space to reflect and help you work out something that you would otherwise not see.

In life we tend to “busy” ourselves from looking in the mirror and doing our work. When lovers, friends and/or jobs get taken away from you, it is a sign that a part of your life needs attention. Once your plate is cleared and there is some space, you can begin to see what needs to be healed.

Being alone is one of the greatest gifts the universe can bestow upon us. It gives us the space to process our life path and gives us the clarity we need to make changes that will help us to move forward in the right direction. Don’t rush to “busy yourself” when you find yourself alone. You will miss the opportunity to heal the part of yourself that has been screaming for attention. When you are with others, those parts of ourselves get buried in favor of prioritizing others’ needs or others’ behaviors.

Enjoy your alone time and give gratitude for the opportunity to allow yourself to heal. It is in that space of being alone that great change comes about. And it is only through being alone that you can see where you really are in life. Embrace your alone time and use it as the stepping stone to take stock of the rest of your life. Oddly enough, spending time alone is really the only way to find true happiness with all others.

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Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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tumblr_l9vevlFmtK1qcv9rio1_500… let them go.

Their part in your story is over.

As humans we have a very hard time letting go, but its important to remember that not everyone is supposed to be in your life forever. People filter in and out of your life during certain times to fulfill certain roles and when those roles are fulfilled, they are free to move on.

Some people in our lives are like the limbs of a tree, they grow with the tree and they weather the storm with the tree. And some people are like the leaves, they come in during a season of your life to change you, support you or inspire you and then they move on. It is important to be able to distinguish who is a limb and who is a leaf in your life. Once you identify your limbs, it is much easier to let the leaves fall to the wayside. A tree cannot hold onto its leaves, when it is time, they will organically wither and die off – it is a natural cycle of life. Why would we think relationships would be any different?

Anyone who walks away without a fight was never going to stay for the long haul.

Bless those leaves as they fall from your life and focus on the limbs of your tree, they are always there to support you. There will always be new leaves again in the springtime and the cycle will always repeat. Learn who your limbs are and let the leaves go, they were only there for a season of your life and that season has gone.

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Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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… but it shouldn’t be.

Relationships aren’t complicated, we complicate them. If I had a dime for every client who told me that their relationship was “complicated,” I would be a billionaire. Why so complicated? Well for starters, we always stay for the wrong reasons

How do you know if a relationship is really right for you? You first need to be brutally honest with yourself and in doing so, you will be honest with your partner. Honesty is simple, but we hide from it. We don’t always want the answers that it yields.

If you are telling yourself you are in a “complicated relationship,” you need to answer these two honest questions about your relationship:

  1. Are you getting what YOU truly need/want?
  2. Are you giving your partner what THEY truly need/want?

Be honest with yourself, it is not just about what you are getting/receiving but what you are giving to your partner that is just as important. Relationships work both ways. If you definitively answer NO to either one or both questions, then all bets off. The relationship you are in, is not working for either of you (at the moment). It is important to realize that you can love someone but still not be right for them and vice-versa. It only becomes complicated when we choose to stay and force our expectations on them.

Don’t try and change people, don’t resent them for not being what you need them to be. Let people be who they are and if who they are doesn’t work for you, then love them enough to let them go.  Let them find the person that is best for them.

Staying for the wrong reasons never yields you the outcome you desire. It only frustrates the situation. Know yourself, know your heart, know your dreams and know your partner, then you can make the most mature decision for both of you.

Sometimes you need to lose to win. Don’t strangle-hold your relationship until it becomes what you want. You only end up killing it. If you give it a little space and allow each partner to heal, you may just find that you get either a better version of that relationship after it heals or you get a better relationship with someone else. Either way, you win by losing what did not work.

All relationships require some degree of work, but at the end of the day, a relationship either works or it doesn’t… but it should never-ever be “complicated.”

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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