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Archive for the ‘Control Over Your Life’ Category

… but if you’re patient, it’ll work out even better.

Patience is the name of the game. Life is a delicate balance of effort and surrender and when we push against what isn’t working, we only create more resistance for ourselves. 

The ability to observe what is and not get caught up into wanting it to be different is the gift of wisdom. We may not be able to change what is happening to us in this moment, but we can absolutely change our reactions to what is happening and that reaction is what will create our next experience.

Life is a series of moments. What happens when things don’t work out the way you want them to? Do you spend your time and energy rallying around the injustice of it all or do you put your energy into moving forward so you can create a better experience in your next moment?

Life doesn’t always work out the way you want it to but if you accept that “it is the way it is,” you give yourself the ability to create change in the next moment. You are never going to change what happened, but if you surrender to it, accept it and recognize that you prefer to have a better experience next time, you will be on your way to creating it for yourself.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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Dancing With Your Demons

… is easier than trying to lasso them to the ground.

It just is.

Think about it… when your demons come up (and they always do), it’s much harder to suppress them then it is to face them and renegotiate with them.

It takes so much emotional and physical strength to wrestle your demons back down when you see them come up. Then you have to be careful where you tread because you will naturally run into situations and people who trigger those demons. It’s exhausting to try and hypercontrol your life so to avoid awakening your demons. Better to face them when they come up and renegotiate a better plan for them.

When you address your demons straight on, you can learn from them, grow from them and transform them once and for all. No one says it will be easy, but it is the healthiest way to deal with those demons.

Don’t let your demons destroy you; they are very purposeful. They allow you to acknowledge the darkness, for it is only through your darkness that you can transform yourself into the light.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… not the actual outcome.

When things don’t work out the way we hope they will, we suffer. We suffer because the outcome is less than desirable. When we take a closer look at our suffering, we can see that the pain is caused by our attachment to a given outcome. But the attachment is only a thought form — it’s a thought projection of an expected and probable outcome. 

When that expected and probable outcome does not occur, we are at a loss and suffering ensues. In reality, we may not be able to control the outcome, but we can absolutely control our thoughts about the outcome and the ability to shift those thoughts is what can help reduce suffering.

If the outcome you receive is not the outcome you were hoping for, the key is surrender. When you can surrender and accept the outcome (whether it is pleasing or not,) you can begin to change your thought about the outcome and shift your thought to a thought that is slightly more empowering.

The difference between happiness and suffering is the quality of the thought form. When your attachment is to thoughts that uplift you, you attract uplifting outcomes and when your attachment is to demotivating thoughts, you attract demotivating outcomes.

Your thoughts determine your reality. If you want to alleviate suffering, learn to change your thoughts about what you are experiencing. This is not to say “lie to yourself,” it is just to help you reframe the situations in your life so that you can begin to alter your thoughts so you can experience more positive outcomes. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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… when you’re ready for it.

Not before.

If something is shifting in your life, it’s time for it to shift. Whether you realize it or not, things only begin to shift when you’re ready for a new phase of life. 

The secret to navigating change is to follow the tide, not resist it. You don’t have to have all the answers, you only need to follow the tide when it shifts and trust the process of your life that it knows where it’s leading you. The universe always has your back. Change wouldn’t be happening if it wasn’t time for change to happen.

Don’t get tripped up over any perceived outcome. It’s great to have a goal, but don’t hold steadfast to it, be flexible. You never know where life will take you. If you think you know what’s right for you and you hold too tight to it, you will create unnecessary pain and frustration. Set a goal and then be open to where life leads you. When you are flexible, you allow yourself the chance to pivot towards something even better. 

Step lightly on the earth, be fluid, be able to adapt, your life may not show up exactly as you expect, but from what I’ve learned — it usually shows up even better. 

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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… ignoring it is betraying yourself.

We all have a small, still voice within that knows what’s right for us. It is our soul speaking to us saying “come over here… come over here.” But how many of us listen to it? How many of us give credence to our intuition? Not many.

We get caught up in the day-to-day grind of routine and ego. We tend to favor our head over our heart and often times make decisions based on a parody of “what makes sense” — “do the math” — “list the pros and cons.” Decisions made from this place often times go against the soul’s calling. 

Believe it or not, it never matters what makes sense. All that matters is that we learn to listen to our hearts — that is the wisdom of the soul and it will never lead us astray.

Our soul knows why we are here. Our soul is always guiding us along our path of fate and steering us towards outcomes in support of our highest purpose. We just need to be aligned with it in order to achieve oneness with ourselves.

Oneness is found by listening to yourself. You have every answer you ever needed, you only have to ask yourself and then be grounded enough to listen to the response.

Your soul will never deceive you. If you don’t like what you hear, you may not like the path you are on. Intuition is a great arbiter of justice — it’s the process of listening to yourself. Ignoring it is akin to betraying yourself. If you cannot hear your intuition, ask yourself who are you hiding from? YOU are the only one you are running from.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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… you’re only being pushed to evolve.

Pain is your greatest catalyst for change. Transformation only happens when there is something deeply traumatic that needs to be transformed.

No one is punishing you for your actions. No one is here to be victimized and tortured. If you’re going through hell, it’s a self-imposed construct you set up for yourself to empower yourself, so see it through.

There are no bad circumstances, there are only bad perceptions of those circumstances. No matter how difficult, how grave, how painful or hopeless your situation, you wouldn’t be going through it unless you were ready to transform it into something much better suited for you.

Don’t just sit and whine about it. Buck up, pick yourself up off the ground and put the pieces back together the best way you know how in this moment (with positive determination) and the universe will conspire with you to help you transmute the situation.

The universe is your mirror. Realize that if you sit around and find reasons to complain about your situation, the universe will join you and give you every reason to continue to complain. The choice of how you show up in the face of adversity is always yours, and it will certainly determine your next experience. 

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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… who can’t see an issue in their behavior.

Not everyone is conscious. Not everyone has the ability to see how their actions affect others. If you have to tell someone over and over again that they’re hurting you, they are unable to process your pain, most likely because they haven’t processed their own. 

In order for them to honor your feelings, they first have to look at themselves in the mirror and accept responsibility for how they’ve made you feel. But for many, that reflection can be very painful and bring up other past failures. No one wants to feel responsible for hurting someone else and no one wants to feel like a failure; it’s much easier to just shut down and become defensive — “let me prove to you that I don’t need to change, you do.”

If someone is truly evolved, they know they are not responsible for how you feel, BUT they will always have a degree of empathy for your feelings and will always be able to honor them in whatever way they can. 

If they can’t hear your pain, you’ll never be able to get them to honor it. If you’re trying to communicate your feelings and they’re being defensive, walk away, sometimes silence can be the greatest teacher. If your words aren’t enough to help them hear you, then stop talking and give them the time and space to hear what you have already said.

You can’t change people who can’t see an issue in their behavior. You can’t get anyone to stop hurting you until they come face to face with their own pain. If they cannot change themselves, how are you ever going to change them? Life is too short to try and teach unconscious people how to honor your feelings. Walk away and in time the universe will deliver you someone who can honor your heart.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s Weekly Column at the NY OBSERVER, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook. 

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

 

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