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Archive for the ‘Anger’ Category

th… unless you make it that way.

These are two completely different concepts. Do you know the difference?

Being alone assumes one loves themselves and fully enjoys and appreciates themselves. They are comfortable in their skin, emotionally well-adjusted and although they enjoy the company of others, they are quite contented to be alone and find just as much happiness and fulfillment in their aloneness.

Being lonely is when you are not comfortable within yourself, when your own company isn’t quite enough to soothe or entertain you. It is when you require someone or something outside of you to make you happy because you cannot find that happiness within yourself. It is when you default to any type of distraction (drugs, alcohol, food, tv, sleep, etc…) to keep you from feeling your own pain and loneliness because the solitude of being on your own is simply too painful to bear.

Running from yourself will always keep you lonely. Embracing yourself will always keep you fulfilled. Regardless of the image staring back at you in the mirror, learn to love it, learn to appreciate it and learn to honor it every day. Self love is your best and only real companion.

Do you want to be alone or continually feel lonely? The choice is yours. But nothing changes until you learn to love your own company, if you don’t, how can you ever ask someone else to?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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th-3… is always MORE OVERWHELMING than the actual tasks at hand.

Nothing is ever as challenging as we think it’s going to be.

Whether we have too much on our plates, or are feeling in-over-our-heads with a project(s), we inadvertently tend to build up anxiety over getting it all done/achieving it on time, etc… We naturally default to feeling overwhelmed, but the overall feelings of “being overwhelmed” are much more overwhelming than if we were to just sit down and work out the logistics of doing the project and/or setting the schedule. Once you shed the light of consciousness on your anxieties, you can see that it is never as bad as you think it will be.

Instead of worrying about how to tackle a project and pushing it off for weeks feeling overwhelmed, sit down and start it. You will soon see that it is not as bad as you thought. Nothing is as difficult as are the feelings of overwhelm. Things are never as difficult as we think they will be. But we spend countless amounts of energy fretting over it and that is the energy that we could be channeling into something more constructive.

Take back your power. Don’t give it away to worry about something that needs to get done. Live one moment at a time and by the time you get up to doing what you have been feeling overwhelmed with, you realize it isn’t so bad after all and much easier than you thought.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.
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Feeling Stuck… Change it up.

Explore MORE. Do MORE. Experience MORE.

Or risk staying in the same place forever.

Change doesn’t happen by standing still. Nothing ever changes in your life until you invite the powers of change in.

Everything is energy and when we repeat the same patterns of behavior that make us feel stuck and bound, we cement that energy around us. In other words, repetition is binding. By engaging in the same behavior over and over again, we create walls around us that keep us trapped in the unhappy place we’ve created for ourselves. It makes it impossible for any degree of change to reach us.

Change requires “flexible” energy – doing new things, experiencing new situations and exploring new sides to ourselves. This flexible energy has the ability to “poke holes” in the walls of stagnancy around us and bring about change.

So if you are feeling stuck, get out of your rut. Change up your routine. Do something new – anything new. Do even just one small thing differently and let that fresh energy begin to chip away at the walls that bind you.

Complacency breeds stagnancy and stagnancy cannot exist in a world where change reigns. You may not know how to get out of feeling stuck, but you can make small changes to your life and routine and those small changes have the power to break the chains that bind you.

If you are feeling stuck, change it up. Don’t let fear keep you complacent. You don’t have to have all the answers, you just have to make one small change and the universe will conspire with you to help break the chains that bind you. Anytime you are ready to be free, the rest of your life is ready to begin.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.
Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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th-2… leave it with LOVE.

Otherwise you’ll be attached to it. And not in a good way.

In other words, if you hate it or resent it, it will follow you. And if you’re done with something/someone, do you really want it hanging over you and preventing your happiness?

Negative emotions such as anger, hatred, resentment, frustration, guilt, and pain carry a dense vibration; they keep you locked and engaged in a very painful dialogue with your past. As long as you harbor those emotions, you are not free to move forward into your future. Those emotions will keep you trapped in the place you’ve struggled to move away from.

The answer? Let go with love…

Translation? Learn the reasons why that person/situation was on your path. What did they bring to the table for you? What did they teach you? How did they make you better? Acknowledge all the good the relationship bestowed upon you and be grateful for the experience. It made you who you are. Bless it and let it go – but always let it go with love – kindly, constructively and compassionately – then your work is done.

Letting go with love sets you free because it assures that you have allowed yourself to get the learning from the experience and you pass that love along to the person/situation you walk away from. That love is kind and mutually supportive – it’s a win-win situation for everyone. As humans, to be heard and understood and to hear and understand another is the greatest gift we can offer each other. It’s the greatest gift that love offers.

So when you leave something/someone, leave it with love. That quality of love will sustain and nurture both of you as it heals the past and opens the doors to a much happier and healthier tomorrow.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.
Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

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th… but you didn’t.

So move on.

Hindsight is always 20/20 but your sight in the moment is all that matters. When you make a decision, you make it with the best information you have at hand in that moment. And that is really all that matters. That is all you can do.

Circumstances and situations change all the time as people use their free will. All you can do is to acknowledge that you made the best possible decision in that moment given the information you had at hand and LET IT GO.

You cannot control every outcome. You cannot outsmart the universe. Situations unfold quite purposefully to bring you to where you need to be in your life – whether you recognize that or not.

In the moment you make a decision, recognize that at that moment in time, you made the BEST DECISION. If you made that decision from a calm, centered space and it was a decision that felt authentic to you and satisfied your needs, wants and an innate understanding of your truth, then you made the RIGHT DECISION in that moment. End of story.

It doesn’t matter what the future brings… hindsight is always 20/20 and there is always a reason why we are NOT given it upfront. If we knew all the answers before we made the decisions, we wouldn’t be learning and evolving.

Your life is always unfolding in front of you. If a decision you made seems to no longer serve you or appears to be the wrong decision for you, then it is time to make another decision. Don’t regret the decisions you make, only regret your inability to revise the equation and make amendments to it.

Life is not static… decisions are meant to evolve and grow with you. “Woulda Shoulda Coulda” is the song for victims. When you are truly empowered and in charge of your life, you realize that all is happening exactly the way it is supposed to be happening and you are being asked whether or not you can roll with the changes.

Make your decisions and DON’T LOOK BACK. Your decision was perfect in that moment. But in this new moment, you might want to readjust it slightly in order to account for your own personal evolution. Hindsight might always be 20/20 but your insight in this moment is always PERFECT.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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The Blame Game… has NO winners.

It takes EVERYONE down.

We all want to point fingers when a situation in our lives does not play out the way we want it to. We somehow tend to blame others for our dissatisfaction in our relationships, careers, money, weight and/or in our addiction issues. We think “well, I am this way because someone did this to me” and we point fingers at others instead of accepting responsibility for where we are now. The truth is that it doesn’t matter what happened to you in the past – it’s over – and now YOU OWN IT, how are you going to make your life better? Recognize that looking back and blaming someone will certainly not make it any better because you are the ONLY one who can make a change in your life.

The fact of the matter is … you are where you are because of the choices you have made or the choices you have ALLOWED to be made. Believe it or not, no one put you anywhere that you haven’t allowed. For example, being in an abusive relationship with someone makes you the victim of abuse; BUT recognizing that you have allowed yourself to be in an abusive relationship empowers you to accept responsibility for your choices and inspires you to make better choices for yourself moving forward. In other words, you may have suffered abuse, but no one made you stay there. Blaming the abuser will not change your life. Empowering yourself to make the decision to leave will.

Pointing the finger assures you will always be the victim of your life. But accepting responsibility for how you have gotten to where you have gotten to always empowers you to make change.

No one wins the blame game. No matter how much you want to point the finger, it will NEVER change the past. If you are blaming others for your current situation, you have missed the opportunity to make a better situation for yourself.

Don’t blame others for where you are in life. Pointing fingers will never make your life better. Accept responsibility for your where you are and make changes that have the potential to create the life you really want. Haven’t you waited long enough?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter.

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th-5… for change.

Let it drive your transformation.

In other words – if it hurts you, it will change you. And that’s a good thing.

We all run from pain, no one likes to feel it. Everyone labels it as “bad.” But the reality is that it’s only through your pain that you are able to truly transform yourself because YOU HAVE TO. You can no longer go on experiencing the pain nor do you want to go back to the source that caused it. Therefore the only way through your pain is literally through it and out the other end. And that is where change lies.

When you let yourself truly feel the pain, you innately know which direction to go in, in order to heal. Just like a child touching a hot stove, it is only through the pain of a burned finger that he learns never to do that again, never to engage in similar behavior again.

If you never allow yourself to feel the pain, how can you transform the behavior? You can’t. If you ignore the pain and push it down, where’s the learning? There isn’t any. Where there is no pain, there can be no transformation and where there is no transformation, there can never be growth and with no growth, there can be no happiness. It’s a simple as that.

You always have a choice. But the highest choice is to allow yourself to feel the pain, hit rock bottom with it and let it transform you from a stubborn caterpillar into that beautiful butterfly. And as we all know, the view from above is always much more liberating.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter.

 

 

 

 

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th-8… is attachment.

Attachment to any one thing working out the way you want it to/need it to – be it a job, relationship, situation, etc… If you need it to happen in a certain way by a certain time and with certain parameters, you are attached to it. And if you are attached to an outcome, you will suffer when that outcome is not achieved. 

Attachment is dangerous because it implies that you know what is right for you in life. Trust me, you don’t always know what’s right for you. Generally speaking there are 3 outcomes: what you want, what you need and what is right for you – they are not always the same thing. In fact, we tend to mistakenly think that what we want or need is what is right for us. Therein is the root of suffering.

It is OK to have hopes, dreams and goals, but it is NOT OK to hold onto a specific outcome. If you don’t get what you want, learn to let it go and trust that there is something much better around the corner. When you can learn to not attach to a given outcome, you generally find that what you receive is much better than what you thought you were going to get. 

Learn to minimize the amount of suffering in your life. Let go of needing things to be the way you want them to be and let things be the way they are. Adopt this strategy and you might find that things work out even better than you could have imagined.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter.

 

 

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th-7… makes you JUST as crazy.

Yet we try to do it anyway.

In life, your only responsibility is to express yourself to others and to do so kindly, constructively and compassionately. Then your work is DONE. You owe nothing else.

Your work is never to make the other person understand you. In fact, they may NEVER understand you. They may never be able to understand you. But that is about them, NOT YOU.

People always come to the table with their own bag of tricks – their own fears, struggles and hidden pains that generally create protective barriers around them. In other words, people shut down to hearing what might very well cause them pain or confusion or burst their bubble of “reality.”

But here’s the deal… those walls are theirs and it is not your job to try and tear them down so that they can hear you. Your job is only to express your truth in the kindest fashion possible and then LET IT GO. Don’t need them to agree with you. And certainly don’t argue with them either. Instead give them space to hear and digest what you have said. They will come around in their own time and if they don’t, they might not be the right people to have in your life at that moment.

It is also important to remember that people who are hurting naturally come across as “illogical and irrational” in their speech, but again, you cannot change that for them. You can only offer your truth with kindness, compassion and understanding. And realize at that point that your work is done. Bless them and walk away.

Trying to negotiate with crazy will make you just as crazy. Recognize that it’s NEVER your job to convince someone of your feelings and intentions. It is only your job to express them with kindness and let others find their way with them. When they are ready, they will hear you and in the interim, invest in others who are more open to who you are and what you have to say. After all, life is too short to feel like you are talking to a wall. Don’t make yourself crazy, put your energy into talking with someone whom you can actually have a 2-way dialogue with.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter.

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th… getting out of their way does.

After all, if you can’t fix them, you don’t want to get cut on their broken edges.

We tend to have expectations of people. We believe in “who they can be,” not necessarily who they have chosen to be. But it’s not your job to get people to change. Your wanting to change them (albeit for the own personal benefit) isn’t enough to get people to change. People have to feel that they are ready to make change and then embrace their own process to do so. Until then your words will fall on deaf ears and will only render you frustrated and create resentment on their part – everyone loses.

If you really want to “fix people,” help them to see why they may be broken. Highlight aspects of their behavior and kindly bring it to their attention and then STEP BACK. That might mean take yourself out of the equation for a bit so that they can do the work. If you stay in their life, they may not feel the need to do the work. But your absence may encourage them to reach higher. When you give people space, they generally find their own way towards change. When you sit on top of them, no doubt they will resist your efforts.

Choosing to stay in their life is fine as long as you detach from your need for them to change. You can’t make people be who you want them to be or be who you think they should be. You have to let people be who they are. And in the process of giving them that space, the seeds you plant with them will hopefully blossom over time.

You want to fix people? Teach them to plant better seeds for themselves and then GET OUT OF THEIR GARDEN. Let them nurture their own growth. And maybe one day, they will share their harvest with you.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

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