When You Are In A Hole

…stop digging.

After all, it’s not really going to lift you out of that hole, is it? A hole takes you deeper. Once you realize that, it is easier to make another choice for yourself.

We have a tendency to prove our own undoing. We dig ourselves into our own emotional holes. Every time we choose to dwell on negative emotions, we choose to dig that hole deeper. Every time we choose to buy into other’s criticisms of us, we dig ourselves deeper even still. In fact, it is very easy to bury ourselves beneath a shroud of negative emotion, insecurity and inferiority.

You have a choice everyday as to whether you will allow your negative state of emotions to affect you. You also have a choice as to whether you will allow other people’s negative state of emotions affect you. When dealing with others, it is important to remember that those emotions, criticisms and critiques are not yours, so why own them? You NEVER need to accept any of that as fodder to help you dig yourself deeper. It’s simply not necessary.

No one is digging that hole for you, but YOU. If you are in too deep, it is time to throw away the shovel and climb back out. Decide today that you choose NOT to be buried by your own or other’s negative rhetoric. You choose happiness and freedom from negative thought. Your life is yours. At some point, you must come to the conclusion that you are done beating yourself up. You deserve better. Once you can see that, the shovel no longer looks attractive. Trade in your shovel for new soil that will promise to grow you tomorrow’s abundance.

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Go With The Flow

… not against it.

It is true, we have free will in life. We can use it either to make our circumstances easier or more challenging for ourselves.

With free will, we try to control every aspect of our lives. But life is such that some things are just beyond our control – and that has to be ok. 

You should always try to use your free will to create the life you want. We all want to flow down a river we recognize and trust because we know where it is going. But in reality, if life has other plans for you and kicks you over to another river, one that is flowing in another direction, it is best NOT to fight it but allow yourself to flow with it. There is no sense in trying to fight the current and swim upstream. That will not only take you nowhere,  it will exhaust you and for what?

You may not always get what you want in life, but you will always get WHAT YOU NEED whether or not you know you need it at the time. Don’t judge a river by your perceptions of its beauty or its ability to take you where you want in life. If you’ve never been on a given river and do not know where it is flowing, how do you know it will not take you to a better place and how do you know that you will not enjoy even more beautiful scenery along the way?

Stop thinking you have all the answers. We seldom do. Trust in the divinity that is your life. Your destiny is planned for you, but you can always use your free will to make adjustments along the way, but regardless, trust that whatever river you find yourself on at any point in you life is one that you were meant to be on. If you weren’t meant to be on it, you wouldn’t be on it or at the very least, you would be flooded off of it.

So learn to accept the river you are on.  Go along for the ride. You are on that river for a reason. Use your judgment to navigate the river you are on instead of fighting to defeat it. You will never change the river’s flow. If you stop fighting it, you might just learn the beauty behind that river and in time allow it to teach you its mysteries. You will be better for having had the experience.

We never know why things happen the way they do, but one thing is for sure…. if you are an active participant in your life and you work hard to create the life you want, and you find yourself on a new river, there is always a reason. Time to let go of what you think is right and open up to a new reality which will most likely be better than what you could have ever imagined for yourself.

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Staying Too Long

… makes you miss your stop.

Sometimes we stay too long in spaces we shouldn’t – spaces such as dead-end jobs and dead-end relationships. We stay hoping somehow we can transform them into being what we need them to be. Staying too long doesn’t remedy a bad situation, it makes it worse. It overstays your welcome and drains the situation or rather – runs it into the ground.

Be honest with yourself. Are you staying because it is what you really want and deserve or are you staying for some other reason based out of fear such as “I don’t think I can do better” or “there aren’t any other opportunities out there for me” or “I will never be able to do what I really want”.

Don’t stay too long in spaces that are not working for you. Yours is not to force fit them to meet your needs. Yours is to be strong enough to be able to discern what is best for you and for your growth and let the rest fall by the wayside.

Staying too long makes you miss your stop. Life is like a train ride from New York City to Boston. You will always get to your final destination in life, it is your destiny. You will reach Boston one way or another. But it is your choice as to whether or not you will enjoy the journey along the way. That journey has some beautiful shoreline along Connecticut and Rhode Island. If you stay too long at certain stops, you will miss the beautiful views and experiences that that journey has to offer. Don’t try and hold the doors open and stay in the station. Let the doors close. Let yourself get to the next stop and get out and take a look around. Life is too short to stay at one stop for too long. There is a whole coastline out there for you to explore. Give yourself the chance to have some great experiences and when they have served their purpose, be strong enough to let them leave your life. On to the next stop…

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If You Are Not Where You Want To Be

… pick it up.

No one is responsible for your happiness but YOU.

You are the only one holding yourself back. Your obstacles to greatness are all imagined. Don’t allow your fears to keep you from being the best you can be.

There are no victims in life. There are only those who do not want to rise to their life lessons.

If you find your life is not where you want it to be, do whatever you need to do to get it there. The actions you take will always reap benefits. It is the inaction that creates resistance to what you want. In other words, the energy of action moves you forward (any action) and the energy of inaction creates stagnancy.

You can have whatever you want in life. You just have to pick it up and make it happen. The more you allow yourself to sit out on the bench and watch others succeed while feeling badly about yourself, the more you stay stuck.

Giving up never gets you what you want. Getting out there in any capacity will always change the dynamic for you. Don’t think you need the perfect strategy to succeed. You only need to get up off the ground and make a move – any move. That move supports your intention to succeed and the universe will respond in kind.

Life is too short to wait for your dreams to come true. If your life isn’t exactly where you want it to be right now, do something about it. The action of intention will always bring you success. The stronger your actions, the stronger the level of change you will bring about. What are you waiting for? Your best life is waiting for you – get out there and make a move.

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Envying others

… makes sure you NEVER get what they have.

People are only jealous and envious of others when they themselves are not living up to their OWN potential.

Instead of being inspired and driven to achieve what others have, there is a tendency to become resentful that we do not yet have it in our hands at that moment. The result is that we generate a high degree of low vibrational energy (resentment, jealousy and envy) which creates a wall and separates us from ever achieving it. That wall of negativity puts you on lock down so you are unable to attract anything positive into your life. It keeps you from your own happiness.

Envy and jealousy are a cop out. You can have whatever you want in life. Everything is available to you if you open up to source and allow it to come to you. Nobody gets anything that you cannot have. It’s up to you to set out to get it.

You are not being punished. Nothing is being witheld from you. If you desire it in your life, get up and do something about it. Make change in your life so you can bring about the opportunities or the materiality that you so desire.

Life is about choices – everyday. Where you put your energy determines your next experience. Are you going to give your energy over to other people whom you are jealous/envious of OR are you going to allow yourself to use them as inspiration to bring about everything that your heart desires?

The choice is always yours. Blowing out other people’s candles will never make yours burn brighter. Wish them well and allow them to insipre you to make the change necessary to make your own dreams come true. Life is too short to sit on the sidelines and jealously mock the winning team; get out there and make sure you score your own goals.

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Who You Are

… is good enough.

In fact, it is better than good enough. It’s awesome.

At an early age we are trained in our society that we have to conform to a certain standard for social acceptance and respect in our communities. We mistakenly believe we have to attend the “right schools,” hold the “right jobs,” live in the “right type of home” in the “right neighborhood” and be part of the “right social group,” etc…

Where has all this “righteousness” gotten us? Devoid of any individuality, that’s for sure. Conformity is never the answer. It is better to stand apart from the crowd and rest in the knowledge that who you are is ALWAYS better than the sum of the conformists combined.

When we sell ourselves out for acceptance into a group, we lose ourselves. By conforming to another’s standard, you never become YOU. Conformity depletes your power and renders you “just another lemming in a sea of lemmings.” But when you rise above conformity and focus on your own individuality, you soar higher than any lemming partner.

It doesn’t matter what others think of you. It ONLY matters what you think of you. You are not responsible for other people’s lives, you are only responsible for your own. If you are caught up living a life that isn’t your own but that you think looks good, you will forever be caught in a sea of monotony and never find your true direction. Finding who you are means breaking all the rules and redefining them on your own terms. Bring the color back to your life, empower yourself to make your own choices. If you stand as an individual with integrity, purpose and kindness, people will naturally be drawn to you.

But even if others do not follow you, they will always respect you for being an individual. It is much harder but more gratifying to walk the path less traveled. Think about it… it is easier to join a group and blindly follow their definition of success then it is to put it out there yourself and strive for something higher.

Who you are is good enough. It always was. Don’t trade it in for some ideal of acceptance. That is never the way to grow higher in life, it’s the way to keep yourself locked in mediocrity.

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People With Big Egos

… take up MORE space.

They just do. It doesn’t mean that they are better than anyone else, it’s just that they take up MORE space.

People with smaller egos need to occupy the same space as the bigger egos. Herein is the issue. Smaller ego types tend to get pushed out of the room as they have not yet learned how to hold their ground with the big ego.

Either way, smaller egos are generally two types – either extremely accomplished yet humble evolved beings OR they are individuals who do not yet believe in themselves and so they allow the big egos to push them out of the room.

Small egos can become resentful, angry and bitter towards the big egos who generally do not even realize the smaller egos are in the same room with them. The small egos feel as if they are being overlooked, marginalized and pushed out of the room. This is only so because the small ego is ALLOWING IT.

In life, both egos have to co-exist in the same room. Big egos take up more space so it is up to the small ego to learn to hold its ground. The small ego does not have to compete with the big ego, it just has allow itself to be who it is and believe in itself and STAND UP FOR ITSELF and carve out that space that it needs to do its life’s work.

Nothing comes out of allowing a big ego to push you out the door. As a small ego, you lose and the big ego has more room to puff itself up and feel good about itself. There is no competition here. It doesn’t matter how “small” you are, it matters how well you can hold your space in the presence of a big ego. You do not have to be a big ego to hold space with a big ego, you just have to hold the space YOU NEED and never allow it to be compromised. Don’t spend your time resenting a big ego, recognize that there is great strength and beauty in small packages. As long as the package is strong in itself, it will always give the big package a run for its money.

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When You Love Yourself

… you WIN.

When you give to YOU, you have so much more to give to others – your light shines.

When you continually put others and their needs in front of yours, you suffer – it puts out your light.

Believe it or not, your only responsibility in life is to yourself. That is not to say that you become selfish. But it is to say that your goal in life should be to prioritize your needs and NOT push them to the back burner for anyone.

Our goal in life is to become healthy, happy and well-adjusted. This only happens by honoring ourselves and our boundaries with others. When you are good to YOU, your vibration raises, you feel fulfilled, contented, supported and inspired to live the best life you can. It is from that space that we can create happiness and success while also inspiring others make positive change in their lives.

But when we overextend ourselves and give everything away to others, (aka becoming the “martyr”) we take ourselves down. When you give yourself away, you lose YOU. Simple concept that we have yet to embrace.

No one told you that you are responsible for saving the world. You want to do good in the world? Start by saving yourself FIRST. Draw real boundaries between you and negative people who drag you down, take time out for yourself, treat yourself to anything that makes you happy. Honor YOU, and watch your life flourish. Like attracts like. When you are happy, your vibration raises and you continue to attract high vibrational people and situations into your life.

But when you are busy exploiting yourself for others, your vibration drops and you continue to attract lower vibrational situations and people.

How do you want to live? Learn to love yourself and make the most out of YOUR life. No one is responsible for your happiness but you, so make it a priority. 

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Learning Life Lessons

… is the only reason you are here.

You are here right now to learn. That is it. That is the big mystery of life. You are here to improve yourself and your level of consciousness. With every lesson learned in a lifetime, you move up – closer to happiness, closer to freedom, closer to God.

This is why it is extremely important that we are consciously walking through life and not sleepwalking our way through it. Sleepwalking is a favorite pastime of ours – numbing ourselves with overworked schedules, alcohol, food, drugs, electronics, media, etc…

If you are ready to be more conscious and want to know what is really going on in your life, look at your landscape. Who are the people and situations around you? How are they influencing you? What affect do they have on you day-to-day?

We make contracts with other souls to teach us our life lessons. Nothing every shows up in our lives that doesn’t have a reason for being and that reason is to teach us something. Our work is to decipher the lesson, overcome it and make our life better because of it.

Wonder what your life lessons are? Here are a few basic life lessons that many people face today:

If you are working on Self-esteem, you will attract people who walk all over you/take you for granted.

If you are working on Anger you will attract people who test your patience.

If you are working on Tolerance, you will attract people who challenge your notions of what is proper/acceptable.

If you are working on Self-worth, you will attract people who try to undermine you/cross your boundaries.

If you are working on Selfishness, you will attract people who are needy.

If you are working on Forgiveness, you will attract people who continually hurt you.

If you are working on Emotional Independence, you will attract people who try to control you.

If you are working on Balance, you will attract people who create drama in your life.

If you are working on Patience, you will attract people who push your buttons.

Now that you start to recognize the pattern, you can make great change in your life and change you WILL MAKE. Learn your lessons – get them early. The longer it takes you to get them, the harder they get. They repeat with each new relationship you have until you stop buying into the lesson and start reacting differently. When you finally get the lesson, it stops… and life continues on – much sweeter and easier.

Are you ready to learn?

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If it Doesn’t Challenge You

… it doesn’t change you.

Challenges make you stronger.

Life is hard. It just is. It was never meant to be easy.

We do not learn by living an easy life. We only learn by living through challenging experiences. Those challenging experiences make you a better person. If you can rise to the challenge and transform the pain or fear, it brings you to a far better place.

We have all heard that challenges make you stronger but how exactly? They make you wiser, more alert, more strategic, more willing to take risks, more self-assured, more patient, more confident in your own abilities, more optimistic, more empowered (less of a victim) and more mindful in your approach to life.

You are NEVER a victim. Challenges don’t happen to you to punish you or keep you back in life. They happen to test your resolve and see how strong and conscious you have become on your path. Every time you overcome a perceived challenge, you earn another level of conscious evolution. And on the flip side, every time you allow yourself to fall down and feel sorry for yourself, you take a step back.

Life is always about moving forward and doing whatever you need to do to keep moving forward. Challenges are not roadblocks, they are opportunities to test ourselves to see if we are still growing in the direction we want to be moving or if we have decided to stop growing all together. Victims stop living. Masters create lifetimes of great richness and beauty. The mind is the only difference between the two.

Take control of your life and change your perception the next time you hit a challenge. Don’t let a closed door be an obstacle. Learn to find the key and open the door yourself so you can keep moving forward and create the life you truly deserve.

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