If it Doesn’t Challenge You

… it doesn’t change you.

Challenges make you stronger.

Life is hard. It just is. It was never meant to be easy.

We do not learn by living an easy life. We only learn by living through challenging experiences. Those challenging experiences make you a better person. If you can rise to the challenge and transform the pain or fear, it brings you to a far better place.

We have all heard that challenges make you stronger but how exactly? They make you wiser, more alert, more strategic, more willing to take risks, more self-assured, more patient, more confident in your own abilities, more optimistic, more empowered (less of a victim) and more mindful in your approach to life.

You are NEVER a victim. Challenges don’t happen to you to punish you or keep you back in life. They happen to test your resolve and see how strong and conscious you have become on your path. Every time you overcome a perceived challenge, you earn another level of conscious evolution. And on the flip side, every time you allow yourself to fall down and feel sorry for yourself, you take a step back.

Life is always about moving forward and doing whatever you need to do to keep moving forward. Challenges are not roadblocks, they are opportunities to test ourselves to see if we are still growing in the direction we want to be moving or if we have decided to stop growing all together. Victims stop living. Masters create lifetimes of great richness and beauty. The mind is the only difference between the two.

Take control of your life and change your perception the next time you hit a challenge. Don’t let a closed door be an obstacle. Learn to find the key and open the door yourself so you can keep moving forward and create the life you truly deserve.

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Fear Clips Your Wings

… but you were always meant to soar.

Fear is a powerful emotion that comes on to protect you from a perceived harm. Fear keeps you “safely” out of situations and keeps you in your nest. But you do not grow in your nest. You only grow from learning what it feels like to fall out of your nest and learn to take flight on your own. You expand your horizons and go to new places and create new nests – this the game of life.

It is important to keep tabs on fear or it has the ability to take over our lives. Often times, fear manifests as anxiety and panic attacks. When you feel anxiety and panic, it’s the body’s way of trying to protect you from a situation or a person you deem harmful. Fear is also your indicator that you are dealing with a life lesson. Anxiety and panic are nothing more than a trigger for you to realize that the discomfort you are feeling is because you are dancing face to face with one of your life lessons – and that is NEVER easy. Here is where the work begins.

Fear would have you run from your life lesson and never learn it – maybe take a pill to quiet the trigger and numb the reminder that you have work to do. You can only do that for so long, your lessons always come back with a vengeance. The work is in recognizing where your patterns are and shedding light on them. Once you realize where the anxiety is coming from, you can begin to heal the experience and apply wisdom to help you move forward in your life.

The answer is always to move through the fear so you can transform it. If you find yourself avoiding situations so to not experience the discomfort of fear, then you are hiding in your nest. You can spend a lifetime in your nest. Ask yourself if you really want to do that? When there is a whole world out there for you to see and you have a beautiful set of wings, it might be time to spread them and take flight. Taking flight is the only thing that will transform your fear.

Time to leap out of that nest. If you allow yourself to stay there, fear will certainly clip your wings and you will never learn to fly. What options do you really have?

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Staying Stuck

… keeps you locked in a bad place.

And who wants to be locked in a bad place?

We seldom realize that we are the ones who have put ourselves into bad places. We are so quick to give up our power over our lives and say that something or someone else is responsible for holding us back. But the truth is, we are responsible for holding ourselves back – no one else is. No one has control over your life unless you give it to them. End of story.

Sometimes we find ourselves swirling in a negative cyclone of emotions and wondering why things are not changing for us? Almost as if we cannot get out of the space we are in. If you find yourself in this space, this is your indication that you are in a rut and you have unfortunately put yourself there by allowing it to continue.

Being stuck is like being caught in a doughnut hole. You keep spiraling and spiraling around with no way out and the walls seem too thick to penetrate. Since the energy that is trapped is negative, it holds a very dense and low vibration that is very heavy and overwhelming. It keeps you stuck in the hole and makes it almost impossible to see the light of day.

How do we break the cycle and climb out of the doughnut hole? Allow change. Any change. Any small amount of change in your life will work to infuse lighter, clearer energy into that doughnut hole and break up the stagnancy so that you may be lifted out of your own trap.

Life is too short to keep yourself stuck in a hole. Take small steps towards change. Invite fresh energy in and watch how life suddenly lifts you out of your hole.

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People Who Criticize

… are usually the ones who have the most work to do.

Everyone has issues. EVERYONE.

Conscious people are the ones who KNOW what their issues are and do not blame others for their own shortcomings.  But not everyone is conscious. Not everyone owns up to their inadequacies.

One of the major life lessons a person can have is known as “self-perfection”. Individuals with this life lesson are here to do serious work on themselves – to “perfect themselves” so to say. But all too often, those with this life lesson may become somewhat misguided and as a result demand perfection of everyone around them instead of themselves. It is easier for them to find fault in you then it is for them to turn the mirror on themselves.

Those who continually find fault in others are generally those who have the most work to do on themselves and they are conveniently avoiding looking at their own behavior.

Do your work. Know what your issues are and give the rest back. Don’t own what is not yours. If you take it on, you will start to embody it in no time. When your critics start to judge you, you should be able to detach from their commentary with a sense of ease. Recognize that the person you are dealing with is having issues doing their own work. Yours is not to save them or fix them. Yours is to not own their criticisms. Yours is to turn the mirror back on them and walk away with your head up high.

Owning “what is yours” empowers you, it holds you responsible and accountable for your life. It makes you stronger and wiser and brings great rewards to the table for you.

Those who prefer holding others accountable are not accepting responsibility for their life. They are the ones who remain lost – for without blame they have no sense of recourse. For sure, they remain stuck by their own hand.

Take control back of your life. Own what is yours and turn the mirror back on those who just cannot see.

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Nothing Ever Leaves Your Life

… until it has taught you what you need to know.

People and situations come in and out of our lives to teach us something. It is a part of life. The true learning comes from recognizing that if someone or something has left your life, it is because it was time for it to do so. Once we learn the lessons we move on to a much higher playing field (happier, more abundant, etc..)

Trouble begins when we are reluctant to let go of what we know is not serving us (toxic job, relationship, etc..). It is up to you to recognize when a person or situation has outlived its purpose and let it go. You know you are holding on too long when the situation becomes uncompromising, frustrating and you are beating your head on a wall over and over again with no new result. You can hold onto that old lesson but doing so will assure you of reliving that lesson over and over again. But we rarely acknowledge this pattern in ourselves. Instead we prefer to hold on and hope the situation will change in our favor but it never does.

What’s worse with holding on to old lessons is that you can only hold onto them for so long before they get ripped away from you and you are you left with nothing but a sense of loss and abandonment. The universe will eventually clear the decks and take away what you were not strong enough to do yourself.

Why keep yourself back? Recognize when you get the lesson and be strong enough to extact yourself from the negative pattern. Invite change and new life in. You cannot hold onto your “accomplishments” forever, eventually it is time to evolve them and encourage yourself to grow past them. This is how we grow. You cannot lose what is real for you, if it leaves your life, it is because you are meant to grow beyond it.  

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Crossing Bridges

… will always take you to the other side.

Whatever that side may be.

Bridges are metaphors for the transitions in our lives. Bridges take us from one place to another and they usually bridge our past with our future. But because they are not our past and they are not yet our future, they represent that unknown in-between stage that can make many people uneasy. We don’t like uncertainty. We like knowing where we will be at every step. Life isn’t like that. Life requires you get on that transitional bridge and walk away from your past (old job, old lover, etc..) and set out on a journey towards the future.

Sometimes the bridges are long ahead of you and you cannot see your destination. That does NOT mean that is isn’t there. 

Sometimes you have to walk in the dark and it might be hard to find your way, but there is always a handrail to guide you. 

On a bridge you do not have to think about where you are going. You just have to keep going. The path is set for you. You will get to where you need to be when it is time.

Just like on a bridge, your path in life is set for you. The bridge you are on has to take you to your destination (your future). It can be no other way. Trust the many bridges in your life. These transitional spaces are meant for you to grow and enjoy the scenery while on your walk towards the future.

You do not have to have all the answers in life. You just have to keep walking. As long as you are on your bridge, you are guaranteed to get off at your destination. 

So how do you know if you are on your bridge? Staying stuck in the past will guarantee that you never get to that bridge and trying to rush ahead and take that speed boat across those waters will jeopardize your journey. SLOW DOWN. Take a walk. Even though you may not know where you are going, if you keep walking, you will learn so much about yourself in the process and you will be delivered precisely to the exact place, at the exact time you needed to be there. Life is your journey, keep moving forward and cross that bridge into the rest of your life.

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You Get What You Give

… so make sure what you are giving is exactly what you want to be receiving!

Seems simple enough, right? But we forget this simple precept all the time. We are our own worst enemies. We are the ones who complicate our own lives. We do this by unconsciously putting out behavior to the world that does not serve us.

When you are connected to the universal flow, things just work – you catch that subway when you are running late, you get just the right job lead when you need it – you are always in the right place at the right time. On the contrary, when you are in a cycle of “Murphy’s Law” and feel as if you are hitting your head against a wall and getting stuck at every corner, you are NOT in the universal flow. Life is meant to flow with ease, when it doesn’t, it is time to look at what it is you are putting out that might be deterring you from a life of ease and good fortune.

Life shows up for us as a direct response to our actions. If we are putting out short-tempered behavior latent with anger, hate, envy, bitterness or hurtful sarcasm, then that negative energy creates instant roadblocks for us and puts up walls that create many obstacles on our path. In other words, that curt comment you shouted at the store clerk will go further to undermine your performance at the job interview later that morning then anything else. Everything is connected. And when you are not connected, you are the one who loses.

You get what you give. The energy you expend will always come back to you tenfold – both positive and negative. If you find yourself constantly hitting roadblocks, it is time to slow down, take a step back, take a breath and consciously shift your energy to a higher thought or vibration – one that encourages a positive outcome both for yourself and for the world around you. Life is too short to be hitting your head on the wall over and over again. Recognize that there is always a better way of showing up.

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Things Happen For a Reason

… whether or not you understand that reason.

We hear this expression over and over again in times of need. Although it is of little consolation to hear that the pain you may be experiencing is happening purposely. Why would this be happening to me, we ask? What did I do to deserve this? What reason could there possibly be for this to be happening?

Our human mind is somewhat limited in our ability to process an understanding of why things may work out in a way in which we do not accept/do not prefer, etc… This tends to complicate our experience. If you could remember that your life exists in a state of divine perfection (whether that makes sense to you or not sometimes), then you would recognize that you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

We always think we know exactly what we need at any given time and when life does not unfold as such, we get upset, discouraged and angered. We feel victimized and we fall prey to negative thought patterns which only succeed in drawing exactly those fears to us as our next experience. It is a vicious cycle and one which is extremely and de-constructively painful.

The wise amongst us know that we may not always get exactly what we want at any given time, but we always get what we need, whether or not we know we need it at the time. That is the way of the universe. It can be no other way. You are not being punished for anything, you are not being tortured. If you are not getting something/someone that you are looking for, trust that for the moment, it is being withheld from you because it is not quite at the vibration you require to have a harmonious connection with it.

You see, everything is energy and energy vibrates in frequency. When it is time for you to meet a particular person, situation or experience, your vibration will attract that particular energy’s vibration and it will be drawn to you. If is not being drawn to you, it is not of your “caliber” right now. It is not at your level. Therefore you will not attract it.

Now painful situations are also magnetically attracted to you – but again, not to punish you, but to offer learning and healing. Look at your life in a bigger way. Look back and remember that those negative experiences you have had are actually those that have brought you to a better place. It may be hard to see it while you are going through it, but it doesn’t make it any less true for you. It is the way of the universe. Trust that you will be given exactly what you need at any given moment. The more you are able to open up and accept the way things are, the easier time you will have with life’s many transitions. Things happen for a reason. Trust that and let what needs to be, BE.

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What Your Resist, Persists

…what you look at disappears.

In life, we fail to realize that everything is energy. When you do not want to have a specific experience because you deem it negative, you resist that experience. That action of resistance is a firm and decisive action that tells the universe, NO. But what we are not seeing is that it does not alleviate the experience you are having. It only brings more “NO” to your door. By resisting something, you are putting the energy of NO out into the universe.

For example, if you do not want to feel emotional pain from a relationship and you fight the experience you are having because you cannot surrender to the pain and transform it, then you only manage to perpetuate the pain you are feeling. And what is worse, you are putting out the sign on your front door saying, “No.” Again, that no does not stop your pain, but it will certainly put an end to good experiences that were coming your way. No simply attracts more NO – no happiness, no good fortune, no laughter, no new relationship, etc… No says means NO or nothing.

If we could learn to surrender to our life lessons and all experiences – both good and bad and not fight them, then we would remain open enough to invite the energy of “openness” or YES to the table. The sooner you can accept your situation and surrender to it’s greater lesson, the sooner that energy of YES will transform the situation and open you up to more positive experiences. Yes says, “I am open, I am willing, I would like to receive.”

Surrender to your experience and allow whatever is going to be, to be. Remember, what you resist, persists (and by doing so encourages the energy of NO). What you look at disappears (and by doing so transforms all experiences into YES). It is, by definition, always your choice.

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A Hole Brings You Deeper

… it just does.

As pedantic as that sounds, these are truly words to live by.

All of us have “holes” in us. These are empty and void places inside of us where we have suffered from pain. Some people will allow those holes to consume them, even define them. They allow themselves to feel broken because of them.

The role of a hole is not to break you or take you down into it, the role is to take you deeper into yourself. It is a type of character building and the lessons are rich. We emerge from every hole a stronger, more balanced and more beautiful being.

We should never identify ourselves with the pain that the hole inflicts upon us, but we should identify with that place of strength, grace and fortitude that that hole brings us to. By going deeper, one finds jewels – whether we speak of diamonds and other precious jewels/metals or even buried treasures. The deeper you go, the higher the probability one will strike “gold.” The gold you find is the essence of who you are.

As we say, don’t stay stuck in the hole, learn its lessons and appreciate it for the teachings and for the level of understanding it brought you to. These are great gifts in the game of life. That which tears us down, brings us to the heart of who we are. Only by being brought to your knees, can one understand how powerful they truly are to remain upright at all.

Your holes are your tapestry – they make you who you are. They tell the story of what you have endured and where you have come from. The more holes you have, the more you have truly lived and the more learnings you have to share with others.

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