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Archive for the ‘Givers and Takers’ Category

Unknown… are usually the ones who have the most work to do.

Everyone has issues. EVERYONE.

Conscious people are the ones who KNOW what their issues are and do not blame others for their own shortcomings.  But not everyone is conscious. Not everyone owns up to their inadequacies.

One of the major life lessons a person can have is known as “self-perfection”. Individuals with this life lesson are here to do serious work on themselves – to “perfect themselves” so to say. But all too often, those with this life lesson may become somewhat misguided and as a result demand perfection of everyone around them instead of themselves. It is easier for them to find fault in you then it is for them to turn the mirror on themselves.

Those who continually find fault in others are generally those who have the most work to do on themselves and they are conveniently avoiding looking at their own behavior.

Do your work. Know what your issues are and give the rest back. Don’t own what is not yours. If you take it on, you will start to embody it in no time. When your critics start to judge you, you should be able to detach from their commentary with a sense of ease. Recognize that the person you are dealing with is having issues doing their own work. Yours is not to save them or fix them. Yours is to not own their criticisms. Yours is to turn the mirror back on them and walk away with your head up high.

Owning “what is yours” empowers you, it holds you responsible and accountable for your life. It makes you stronger and wiser and brings great rewards to the table for you.

Those who prefer holding others accountable are not accepting responsibility for their life. They are the ones who remain lost – for without blame they have no sense of recourse. For sure, they remain stuck by their own hand.

Take control back of your life. Own what is yours and turn the mirror back on those who just cannot see.

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Accepting Crumbs… will never get you the full loaf of bread.

Accepting less than you deserve will only succeed in drawing less than satisfying situations into your life over and over again. In other words, if you make it a habit of accepting crumbs from lovers, bosses, family members or friends, then crumbs is what you will get. End of story.

When you exhibit a level of contentedness with those crumbs, you set a precedent and define a boundary of “being ok with getting less than you deserve”. This sends out the signal that you do not need or require more to be happy. You can no longer blame your significant other or boss, etc… for them not treating you better. In essence you have told them it is not necessary to give you more. Don’t sit around and wait and hope for someone to give you what you want. It will never happen. Decide that you will not spend one more hour wanting for what you need, be direct and tell them exactly what you want. If you do, you have half a chance of actually getting it.

One thing is for sure, if there is something that you need or want in life, articulate it and do not accept those crumbs. Crumbs never satisfy your hunger. They leave you frustrated, obsessive and hungry for more. After awhile of only getting crumbs, you begin to get resentful and angry. But whose fault is it? You do not get what you do not ask for.

Throw out those crumbs and demand a full loaf of bread, if not the entire bakery. We cannot sustain ourselves on crumbs alone. There is a whole bakery out there with your name on it. Stop the hunger and start satiating yourself with what you truly deserve.

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… so make sure what you are giving is exactly what you want to be receiving!

Seems simple enough, right? But we forget this simple precept all the time. We are our own worst enemies. We are the ones who complicate our own lives. We do this by unconsciously putting out behavior to the world that does not serve us.

When you are connected to the universal flow, things just work – you catch that subway when you are running late, you get just the right job lead when you need it – you are always in the right place at the right time. On the contrary, when you are in a cycle of “Murphy’s Law” and feel as if you are hitting your head against a wall and getting stuck at every corner, you are NOT in the universal flow. Life is meant to flow with ease, when it doesn’t, it is time to look at what it is you are putting out that might be deterring you from a life of ease and good fortune.

Life shows up for us as a direct response to our actions. If we are putting out short-tempered behavior latent with anger, hate, envy, bitterness or hurtful sarcasm, then that negative energy creates instant roadblocks for us and puts up walls that create many obstacles on our path. In other words, that curt comment you shouted at the store clerk will go further to undermine your performance at the job interview later that morning then anything else. Everything is connected. And when you are not connected, you are the one who loses.

You get what you give. The energy you expend will always come back to you tenfold – both positive and negative. If you find yourself constantly hitting roadblocks, it is time to slow down, take a step back, take a breath and consciously shift your energy to a higher thought or vibration – one that encourages a positive outcome both for yourself and for the world around you. Life is too short to be hitting your head on the wall over and over again. Recognize that there is always a better way of showing up.

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If you want to save the world, start by saving yourself.

Personal boundaries are critical in life. And most of us have never learned the art of protecting ourselves. And what’s worse, we have been wrongly programmed to think that if we give, give and give to others, it will flow back to us. Let’s clear this up… of course what we give comes back to us, but only up to a point. There has to be a self-protecting measure in place that does not allow you to give beyond your comfort level. This is the key and where most problems begin. If you give and give and fully deplete yourself, it actually has the opposite effect – you end up losing in the end.

There is a simple relationship between the givers and the takers. The givers will always be giving and the takers will always take. Why you may ask? Because these patterns (life lessons) are ingrained in us and are set-up very early in life. The givers’ lesson is to learn to give to themselves and the takers’ lesson is to learn to be less selfish and more selfless. These are basic life lessons and they play out over and over again until we learn the lesson and find the balance in our personal relationships. For example, if you are a giver and are exhausted and broken and yet still running around trying to make everyone else happy, you will continually be met with takers who are lined up to keep taking from you. You get handed lesson after lesson and if you choose to accept those lessons, the lesson continues. Once you put your foot down and say “no, I need to focus on me right now,” the lesson stops.

As a giver, it is critical that he/she learn to love themselves and start to set boundaries in all relationships. Givers need to realize that they are not supposed to save the world but save themselves so they have more to contribute successfully without running themselves ragged. A taker will always take if it is on offer. Givers who are exhausted with nothing to show for their giving will fall apart and become very resentful (rightfully so), but whose fault is it really? No one forced them to give anything to anyone. If it isn’t serving you, JUST SAY NO. That energy is much better suited being given to yourself so you have more to give to those you love.

You cannot save anyone from themselves nor are you supposed to. If you want to save the world, start by saving yourself. Give to you, so you have much more to give in all aspects of your life.

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